Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 61 "part four, Chapter 18"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
65 total reviews
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Barbara. Reading this chapter I feel like watching a film, thanks to your vivid description of the situation Anna is involved in. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
  |
Hi, Barbara. Reading this chapter I feel like watching a film, thanks to your vivid description of the situation Anna is involved in. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review,
Comment from WLHall
Barbara, great job with this scene. I could feel the tension. The story is moving along well and building more suspense. I could just feel how helpless Anna and the people who were trying to help her. I didn't see any spags. Flowed along very nicely. Let's just hope the SWAT team can get this loser without hurting Anna.
Wanda
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
|
Barbara, great job with this scene. I could feel the tension. The story is moving along well and building more suspense. I could just feel how helpless Anna and the people who were trying to help her. I didn't see any spags. Flowed along very nicely. Let's just hope the SWAT team can get this loser without hurting Anna.
Wanda
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
Chapter sixty-one is realistic depiction of a heartless abusive bastard who learned abuse by being raised by an abuser. I hope they save Anna. The tension is on high alert. I really enjoy your great narrative voice, fine characterization and excellent detailed writing. You have used the following in your latest chapter:
Narrative: great
Sentence Structure: excellent
Characterization: excellent
Dialogue: very good
Comments: I'd recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers to read. Thank you and please have a lovely weekday, my friend.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
|
Barbara,
Chapter sixty-one is realistic depiction of a heartless abusive bastard who learned abuse by being raised by an abuser. I hope they save Anna. The tension is on high alert. I really enjoy your great narrative voice, fine characterization and excellent detailed writing. You have used the following in your latest chapter:
Narrative: great
Sentence Structure: excellent
Characterization: excellent
Dialogue: very good
Comments: I'd recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers to read. Thank you and please have a lovely weekday, my friend.
Melissa.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
Thank you Melissa, for your kind review. I hope you are doing great.
Comment from rheabug
Wow! Things are going downhill in a hurry. You are doing a really fine job with this book. I am amazed at your talent with the subject matter. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
 |
Wow! Things are going downhill in a hurry. You are doing a really fine job with this book. I am amazed at your talent with the subject matter. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review and your support.
Comment from AprilShower
I would say this is coming to a head. It should soon end one way or another. Hopefully, this will be his last attack on her, and she will survive and be okay. This is well written, Barbara. This fellow is completely deranged.
April
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
|
I would say this is coming to a head. It should soon end one way or another. Hopefully, this will be his last attack on her, and she will survive and be okay. This is well written, Barbara. This fellow is completely deranged.
April
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
-
You're welcome, Barbara.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter where the negotiators got to take a look at anna and they were able to get a microphone set up in the house so they could hear it.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
|
this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter where the negotiators got to take a look at anna and they were able to get a microphone set up in the house so they could hear it.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara, poor Troy. I know how bad he feels and just wants to break through the door. And poor Anna, I sure hope she can survive through all this.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
|
Barbara, poor Troy. I know how bad he feels and just wants to break through the door. And poor Anna, I sure hope she can survive through all this.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from GeorgieBoy
Well done. This is a gripping story and very realistic. I have some minor suggestions to offer you though-
Grabbed 'the' top of her head. Add 'the'
Try to find a substitute for grabbed, the word is repeated several times.
Should be barely 'conscious' not conscience.
Use 'then' he shook his head, rather than 'and'
I was intrigued. I will look for further chapters.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
|
Well done. This is a gripping story and very realistic. I have some minor suggestions to offer you though-
Grabbed 'the' top of her head. Add 'the'
Try to find a substitute for grabbed, the word is repeated several times.
Should be barely 'conscious' not conscience.
Use 'then' he shook his head, rather than 'and'
I was intrigued. I will look for further chapters.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
I must have been making those corrections while you were reading. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mumsyone
Another good chapter, Barbara.
"She's taken (takin') a nap.
Anna blinked and grabbed (the) top of her head.
She was barely conscious(.)"
"I need the police chief.(")
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
|
Another good chapter, Barbara.
"She's taken (takin') a nap.
Anna blinked and grabbed (the) top of her head.
She was barely conscious(.)"
"I need the police chief.(")
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your eagle eye. I fixed conscious then left off the period. Oh dear. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janie King
Holy Moses, I have another week to wait to see if they get her out alive? Barbara, how much more can I stand? This is driving me oooooir..Have a blessed Easter. God bless.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
|
Holy Moses, I have another week to wait to see if they get her out alive? Barbara, how much more can I stand? This is driving me oooooir..Have a blessed Easter. God bless.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review and I hope you had a great Easter.
