Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Part 1 Chapter 6"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
87 total reviews
Comment from Piggies Grandma
I enjoyed reading this chapter Barbara, it was very cleverly written and very well thought out. Your story was very believable and held my attention throughout.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I enjoyed reading this chapter Barbara, it was very cleverly written and very well thought out. Your story was very believable and held my attention throughout.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from livingwords
Very tense writing. Good voice and characterization. The subject matter is so important. You should intertwine the author notes information into the story. Great! Dan :))
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Very tense writing. Good voice and characterization. The subject matter is so important. You should intertwine the author notes information into the story. Great! Dan :))
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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That is an interesting idea. I will see what I can do. I hope Anna's low self-esteem comes through. I have also in previous posts mentioned her husband controls all the money and that she has no friends. Thank you for the lind review,
Comment from The Stranger
Troy is certainly trapped between a rock and a hard place as he attempts to do what he beleives to be the best things for Anna, he faces a true test of friendship now as he is told to hold back
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Troy is certainly trapped between a rock and a hard place as he attempts to do what he beleives to be the best things for Anna, he faces a true test of friendship now as he is told to hold back
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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He had better hold back or Anna's husband can accuse her of having an affair with him. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from nora arjuna
hi barb, another nicely done chapter, a fast read. if i could suggest, maybe add some description into your scenes. just a bit here and there so we could visualise the picture - some images, feel and smell. they will add colour to your book other than just about the characters.
for eg at this instance:
Troy met Paul outside Anna's former hospital room. Paul glanced up and down the hallway. - tell us what he saw, and here:
Troy stood outside the nursery and waited until he saw the nurse. - maybe describe the nursery a bit, while waiting what did he see - sleeping babies, cots, etc...
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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hi barb, another nicely done chapter, a fast read. if i could suggest, maybe add some description into your scenes. just a bit here and there so we could visualise the picture - some images, feel and smell. they will add colour to your book other than just about the characters.
for eg at this instance:
Troy met Paul outside Anna's former hospital room. Paul glanced up and down the hallway. - tell us what he saw, and here:
Troy stood outside the nursery and waited until he saw the nurse. - maybe describe the nursery a bit, while waiting what did he see - sleeping babies, cots, etc...
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. I will see what I can do.
Comment from whispersofthesoul
hiya,
this is another great chapter and was a joy to read you have brilliant knack of keeping the readerrs attention and leaving them wanting more
there is nothing much to complain about as it is all fantastic.
my only thing is the verse at the end i dont think you need it ? (but that could just be me?)
great job
kelly x
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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hiya,
this is another great chapter and was a joy to read you have brilliant knack of keeping the readerrs attention and leaving them wanting more
there is nothing much to complain about as it is all fantastic.
my only thing is the verse at the end i dont think you need it ? (but that could just be me?)
great job
kelly x
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I will double check that area. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Writeaway...
A delight to read as always, Barbara, bravo. Your writing is clear, well-written and cleverly constructed, I cannot suggest anything for improvment, an excellent job, keep writing!! :)
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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A delight to read as always, Barbara, bravo. Your writing is clear, well-written and cleverly constructed, I cannot suggest anything for improvment, an excellent job, keep writing!! :)
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Poor girl... might be
charged with kidnapping
her own child. She must
be at her wit's end.
An enjoyable read, Barbara.
Margaret
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Poor girl... might be
charged with kidnapping
her own child. She must
be at her wit's end.
An enjoyable read, Barbara.
Margaret
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jadapenn
Phew, there are so many characteristics to these women who allow abuse to carry on.
I loved the chapter, girlfriend. The investigation is progressing well now. Never thought of this avenue before. It is very clever.
Well written. Poor Troy is really worried. luv jada
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Phew, there are so many characteristics to these women who allow abuse to carry on.
I loved the chapter, girlfriend. The investigation is progressing well now. Never thought of this avenue before. It is very clever.
Well written. Poor Troy is really worried. luv jada
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and support. I appreciate both.
Comment from fairy77
That was really good but I'm kind of getting tired of the story.Maybe you should think about wrapping it up soon.It was very good its just too long.I like the fact their getting soon to finding Anna but it a bit boring.I still give it 5 stars.I'm sorry about the computer!Beth
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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That was really good but I'm kind of getting tired of the story.Maybe you should think about wrapping it up soon.It was very good its just too long.I like the fact their getting soon to finding Anna but it a bit boring.I still give it 5 stars.I'm sorry about the computer!Beth
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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It should liven up a little once they find Anna. Sorry I have disappointed you.
Comment from Chris Tee
Another excellent part and you had my eyes glued to the screen here girl.
The story is now reall6y becoming interesting.
Well done with another pleasant read Barbara.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Another excellent part and you had my eyes glued to the screen here girl.
The story is now reall6y becoming interesting.
Well done with another pleasant read Barbara.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
