Comment from words

Excellent

Well done!


You stated your case clearly in verse and interesting way to format a polemic...but it made for an enjoyable read.

One small nit:the government out to be the "bad" villain.
You did not need "bad" here...it is redundant...bad is implied in villain...just a small point.


Well done!

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

Thank you, I actually want that aspect in their, but I saw your point and changed things, without comprimisiong the intended meaning. Thank you so much for the correction, the compliments and this review. Mike

Comment from Writewoman

Excellent

You get five stars for this phrase: "With our own olive branch they beat us." Some words are worth a thousand pictures and those words are an excellent example. It sounds like you have quite a story to tell. Quit hinting at that story and write the book.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

I delibrately kept the US and the present administration out of it. What made me think about this is the incesent appologies for the US. Regardless, this is an agenda driven contrivience, one in my opinion that is dangerous and will come back to haunt us. There is also nothing to be served by this. I understand diplocamcy, yet there are times when it is foolish to apply it. Terrorists are not a country to begin with. In many cases, this type of switching is what lets the world down and loose faith in us. We tend to start, then abandon.

Wow! What do I say about this review? I am honored, but it is difficult enough for me to write as I just wished that I didn't have to. The reason that I end up saying is that I don't see anyone else broaching these ideas and feel a personal responsibility in doing so. I do consider writing a gift and eventually, I may be able to expand it to the point that the writing is picked up.

Thank you so much for the compliments and this review.

Comment from Judian James

Excellent

Ah, political poetry for the social conscience! Well done Mike. That whole part of the world is a mess and everyone should be fearful as to where things are headed in Pakistan
good job. One little typo: "These people may cloth themselves" "cloth" should be "clothe"

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

Thank you, the typoo is now fixed. Because of the way things are for me, I am having trouble writing the romantic and friendship poetry that I love to. Now, I have been holding off as I don't want to write this type either, but couldn't stand my conscience any further. I hope my messages with this type are picked up, especially the morals. I pray a lot these days, for countries and their people and my personal friends that I miss.

Thank you for your very nice review and the compliments. Have a great week ahead! Mike

Comment from joan marie

Excellent

I hear it is a beautiful country. I just can't wrap my mind around "Holy War". It is an oxymoron. Makes no sense to kill your own. Great write and author's notes did add a lot to the read. joan marie

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

Thank you so much for your compliments and this reveiw. It makes you appreciate this country. With trying to learn Halal (don't call it Muslim kosher style) cooking, I met many a Muslim, some very traditional and stridient individuals with strict families. The beauty here is that you can be that way, while others can have the choice of not. It makes a variety of religious thought and appreciation for the individual to consider for use in his personal life.

Thank you so much for your compliments and this review. Mike

Comment from Foster

Excellent

Great poem that says it all, I do not understand this lack of interest on our part.
Pakistan is a nuclear power I think we are in more danger then any other time. And, the president of Pakistan of what is this guy thinking? Although I do not think she was killed by the Taliban. I believe the former dictator had her killed.

Richard

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

That is also of interest to me as well. A scary question in my mind is if push came to shove, to protect the world from the misuse of their nuclear weapons, would they detonate one in their own country to preserve a nuclear free peace. Or against a rouge nation like Iran. I believe that it is the Muslims themselves that could fix terrorism by unilaterally defending against it. That would improve things in their own countries as well.

Well, I didn't see him as a dictator. He was elected, though he extended his power. I don't believe that he would be so short sighted to initiate the bombing for the very reason on what is happening.

What of the new president. He is sort of between a rock and a hard place, much like the last one. With politics, appearences are everything and who wants to appear as using force against their own people? Also, I am sure he is getting a ton of conflicting advice from his advisors who have their own agenda and appearences. There are politicians that aren't like this, Reagan come to mind,but more importantly our forefathers of this country. They governed with a certain sense of the future. Everyone will stand up when there isn't a personal element of danger, but like my experience, they end up standing alone and they have to demonstrate that conviction, benevolence and accept the personal sacrifice. History, whether the courts for me or time for a country, always makes a judgement later.

Thank you very much for this review! Mike

Comment from Twomoon

Excellent

Mike, goodafternoon. Well, this was an interesting piece. And I will say to you what I have told Frank in the day, that this is an editorial poetry. Kentucky does some really great ones. You should write a new section for the local paper as editorial poetry...enjoyed it, much love twomoon

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

Hello! You are exactly right, this is editoral comment within poetry and you know what, I get more mileage out of it then any discourse with a news paper. Most likely my father got the Kohlman name banned from the unresponsive newspaper that we have.

To be honest, I have espoused these views for years and the most common comment was they felt that I was a terrorist as well. It is the neatest thing for me to be able to use poetry on this level in the spirit of having people consider my words. "Martyr," hauntingly is my most clicked on poem. I always wonder if my number will eventually come up, but with that one and the one about Prime Minister Butto, I put my head into the loins mouth and handed it to Pakistani Muslims myself. Muslims are very quite people in the states, but I sensed that I had earned a lot of respect from these poeple and though a surprise, really appreciate that.

I will mail this poem and your review to the local newpaper, I know that they have clicked on and read my poetry, but I think that I scare them. They are not doing well these days. The story that alerted me to this was just two paragraphs on the back page. Not much news is included in their pages. The New York Post has it on page one. I may be switching to that and the Wall Street Journal. I am sending some of my other poetry to interesting publications as well. They might have ears for it. LOL

Two, thank you so much for this review. I do appreciate it very much. Have a great week ahead.

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

Cleverly thoughtout with a
smooth flow to the words
that speak of a dreadful
situation -- a vicious
circle it seems.

Well penned, my friend.

Margaret.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

Wow! That is so true and what I believe is best to correct within our world. Thank you so much for the compliemnts and this review. Mike

Comment from ibex

Excellent

In the original context of poetry, prompting or promoting discussion was its primary aim. Before the days when poetry went soft, its ability to actively participate in public debate was unquestioned. Knowledge of poetry was essential for political leadership. The use of poetry to exemplify leadership was prominent.
Now here I find in your poem the same spirit as that of poetry before it went soft. It is to be encouraged, especially so when the poem is as powerful as your work is. Well done.
My only criticism is minor; more of a question than a criticism. The insertion of a comma after "them" in the fourth line of the first stanza seems unnecessary. If intended for a drop in voice, I find it disruptive of the flow of the poem.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

Then I haven't found a new use for poetry. That is the one thing that I have been able to fall in love with. Poetry's ability to prompt a consideration or discussion without causing a rucus. In a sense it is more like painting for me. Thank you so much for your compliments and review. Mike

Comment from Earthwriter

Excellent

very informational and intuitive peace of writing my friend you provide insight into many facets of this conflict and what is transpiring in that part of the world excellent job

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. I really appreciate it. Have a great week ahead, Mike

Comment from stormwolf2

Excellent

A well written poem with a sad but true story to tell. Your words are written with passion and from the heart, for a country that care for a great deal.

Well written and well done!

Best wishes,
Malcolm

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2009

I really didn't want to write it, but it insisted on coming out and I have to live with my conscience. Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike