Sweet Dreams, Alien Child
Where do they hide the pod?76 total reviews
Comment from tteach
Love it! You explain what happens to loving children...alien transformation! It all makes sense now. I thought maybe there was Jekyl/Hyde thing going on, but alien makes a lot more sense.
Well written, with a clever sense of humor.
terry
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Love it! You explain what happens to loving children...alien transformation! It all makes sense now. I thought maybe there was Jekyl/Hyde thing going on, but alien makes a lot more sense.
Well written, with a clever sense of humor.
terry
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Thank you so very much for this thoughtful review. I have finally conceded defeat on my ability to catch up on my review answering, so I hope you will forgive my carbon-copy response. If you have made corrections, I have checked and corrected. Suggestions have also been considered. I just can't catch up and the number is bumping 800! I try, but life keeps getting in the way. :-)
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from shelley kaye
my daughter just turned 12
the alien is growing new skin
LOL!
this was so cute a story
loved the little bedtime song
i'm sure all your kids still love it
and maybe even sing it to their kids
thanx for sharing! :-)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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my daughter just turned 12
the alien is growing new skin
LOL!
this was so cute a story
loved the little bedtime song
i'm sure all your kids still love it
and maybe even sing it to their kids
thanx for sharing! :-)
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
-
Thank you so very much for this thoughtful review. I have finally conceded defeat on my ability to catch up on my review answering, so I hope you will forgive my carbon-copy response. If you have made corrections, I have checked and corrected. Suggestions have also been considered. I just can't catch up and the number is bumping 800! I try, but life keeps getting in the way. :-)
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a rather charming
story - it's clearly told
and well presented, making
it easy to follow and understand.
A real pleasure to review..
can find no nits.
Regards,
Margaret
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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This is a rather charming
story - it's clearly told
and well presented, making
it easy to follow and understand.
A real pleasure to review..
can find no nits.
Regards,
Margaret
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Thank you, Margaret. :-) I think Sue-z-Q found them all! LOL Really glad to hear how much you enjoyed this.
Jan
Comment from MissCellanea
Jan, I so enjoyed this delightful story of watching your children come of age. You managed to mix it with equal parts humor and bittersweet longing. I never had children of my own, but I have been blessed with three nephews and am 'aunt' to my friend's three. You speak the truth! I remember when my Corey kept backing out of going to the movies with me. Finally, he told me why. He didn't want to be seen walking in with me! He's 17 now and will actually hug his aunt in public and tell her he loves her. Yay!!! He's back!
After I read this through for pure enjoyement, I went back through with my reviewing glasses on. Here you go:
"Come(,) sing my song, Mama."
turn off the light(,) and leave the room
my sweet stepdaughter, Melinda(,) and
out of that blue, clear sky - ??clear, blue??
when I'll walk(??kneel) down to sing her song
and(,) it's at that point(,) you
realise
So, one day, just when I've given up all hope of my daughter ever loving me again, she'll come up (one day) and surprise me with a hug. - delete ()
"You're the best(extra space) daughter
and breath(e) a sigh of relief
No more prickly cactus needles growing from her skin.
(line spacing)
It will be at least...
Sounds like you have a full, loving household. Thanks for letting me peek inside. Sue
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Jan, I so enjoyed this delightful story of watching your children come of age. You managed to mix it with equal parts humor and bittersweet longing. I never had children of my own, but I have been blessed with three nephews and am 'aunt' to my friend's three. You speak the truth! I remember when my Corey kept backing out of going to the movies with me. Finally, he told me why. He didn't want to be seen walking in with me! He's 17 now and will actually hug his aunt in public and tell her he loves her. Yay!!! He's back!
After I read this through for pure enjoyement, I went back through with my reviewing glasses on. Here you go:
"Come(,) sing my song, Mama."
turn off the light(,) and leave the room
my sweet stepdaughter, Melinda(,) and
out of that blue, clear sky - ??clear, blue??
when I'll walk(??kneel) down to sing her song
and(,) it's at that point(,) you
realise
So, one day, just when I've given up all hope of my daughter ever loving me again, she'll come up (one day) and surprise me with a hug. - delete ()
"You're the best(extra space) daughter
and breath(e) a sigh of relief
No more prickly cactus needles growing from her skin.
(line spacing)
It will be at least...
Sounds like you have a full, loving household. Thanks for letting me peek inside. Sue
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much, Sue. Blue, clear sky is an expression born of the movie Forrest Gump. :-) The rest I corrected!
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Lady & Louis
ROFL! Love the humour of this piece, Jani. That opening paragraph with the comment about being owed far more than one crummy planet is a gem! And the rest lives up to it, it's a hoot. Ah, the teenager. I've long been convinced they're aliens. As you said, thank goodness it's not forever!
There's very little to pick at in this one, dear heart. Just one missing apostrophe and a suggestion for a deletion:
and make dolls clothes together. - dolls' clothes
love of her life to the bane of her very existence. - I'd suggest dropping "very"; it's cleaner and crisper as "of her life/of her existence". (Rheinlander ruthlessly zapped all my qualifiying words the other day and I think it's rubbed off, lol!)
Hugs!
Louise xxxx
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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ROFL! Love the humour of this piece, Jani. That opening paragraph with the comment about being owed far more than one crummy planet is a gem! And the rest lives up to it, it's a hoot. Ah, the teenager. I've long been convinced they're aliens. As you said, thank goodness it's not forever!
There's very little to pick at in this one, dear heart. Just one missing apostrophe and a suggestion for a deletion:
and make dolls clothes together. - dolls' clothes
love of her life to the bane of her very existence. - I'd suggest dropping "very"; it's cleaner and crisper as "of her life/of her existence". (Rheinlander ruthlessly zapped all my qualifiying words the other day and I think it's rubbed off, lol!)
Hugs!
Louise xxxx
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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LOL Thanks, Louise. I will get right on that!
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Cooper Watt
Jani,
Touching story. I have two young ones myself--two boys, 8 & 6. I have a ways to go yet before the teen years, but I'm ready! No alien spacecraft's snaggin' up my offspring damn it!! Then again...
If I may be so bold as to nit-pick, there were a couple of things I didn't care for:
1)"...and make dolls clothes together." I think you should change this to either "doll clothes" or "dolls' clothes". I could be totally wrong on this, but when I read it it stuck out. I re-read it, and it still seemed a hair off.
2) "...like a snail in a tub of molasses." Personally, I would drop "a tub of" and just write "...like a snail in molasses." The image of a snail being in a tub is sort of pointless. Do you get what I mean? (Feel free to straight-up ignore me...)
Enjoyable and heartfelt your story is. Well done.
Sincerely,
SOHOcoop.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Jani,
Touching story. I have two young ones myself--two boys, 8 & 6. I have a ways to go yet before the teen years, but I'm ready! No alien spacecraft's snaggin' up my offspring damn it!! Then again...
If I may be so bold as to nit-pick, there were a couple of things I didn't care for:
1)"...and make dolls clothes together." I think you should change this to either "doll clothes" or "dolls' clothes". I could be totally wrong on this, but when I read it it stuck out. I re-read it, and it still seemed a hair off.
2) "...like a snail in a tub of molasses." Personally, I would drop "a tub of" and just write "...like a snail in molasses." The image of a snail being in a tub is sort of pointless. Do you get what I mean? (Feel free to straight-up ignore me...)
Enjoyable and heartfelt your story is. Well done.
Sincerely,
SOHOcoop.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
-
Thank you so very much for this thoughtful review. I have finally conceded defeat on my ability to catch up on my review answering, so I hope you will forgive my carbon-copy response. If you have made corrections, I have checked and corrected. Suggestions have also been considered. I just can't catch up and the number is bumping 800! I try, but life keeps getting in the way. :-)
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from fayesh
I thought this glimpse into your role of mother to "alien" teenagers was splendidly written. I truly identified with every word in your essay. Great use of metaphor to equate teenagers with an ET conspiracy.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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I thought this glimpse into your role of mother to "alien" teenagers was splendidly written. I truly identified with every word in your essay. Great use of metaphor to equate teenagers with an ET conspiracy.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
-
Thank you so very much for this thoughtful review. I have finally conceded defeat on my ability to catch up on my review answering, so I hope you will forgive my carbon-copy response. If you have made corrections, I have checked and corrected. Suggestions have also been considered. I just can't catch up and the number is bumping 800! I try, but life keeps getting in the way. :-)
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from wazzo
O yes I know exactly what you mean and I think you illustrate it in a very interesting way. There is an whole attitude change, you are no longer with it whatever 'it' is. Then a few more years down the line you suddenly become best friends. I do think you made a grand job here my friend well done. Albert.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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O yes I know exactly what you mean and I think you illustrate it in a very interesting way. There is an whole attitude change, you are no longer with it whatever 'it' is. Then a few more years down the line you suddenly become best friends. I do think you made a grand job here my friend well done. Albert.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
-
Thank you so very much for this thoughtful review. I have finally conceded defeat on my ability to catch up on my review answering, so I hope you will forgive my carbon-copy response. If you have made corrections, I have checked and corrected. Suggestions have also been considered. I just can't catch up and the number is bumping 800! I try, but life keeps getting in the way. :-)
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from kiwirose
Beautiful story is flowing smooth clear. It is no nits and error. I watch my nieces and nephews grow as this story reminds me of them.
Thank you for your sharing with us :)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Beautiful story is flowing smooth clear. It is no nits and error. I watch my nieces and nephews grow as this story reminds me of them.
Thank you for your sharing with us :)
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
-
Thank you so very much for this thoughtful review. I have finally conceded defeat on my ability to catch up on my review answering, so I hope you will forgive my carbon-copy response. If you have made corrections, I have checked and corrected. Suggestions have also been considered. I just can't catch up and the number is bumping 800! I try, but life keeps getting in the way. :-)
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from rmdelta
Jan,
Beautiful story, Jan. Leave your glasses on because I saw no spags to offer you this time. Others may see them, but I simply read and enjoyed. Great work in this explanation of what had confused me for years. Thanks.
Reggie
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Jan,
Beautiful story, Jan. Leave your glasses on because I saw no spags to offer you this time. Others may see them, but I simply read and enjoyed. Great work in this explanation of what had confused me for years. Thanks.
Reggie
Comment Written 29-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much, Reggie. I was thrilled to receive your review.
Hugs,
Jani
