The Greater Good
A sonnet57 total reviews
Comment from The Cowboy Poet
I like this very much. You have a lot of excellent imagery. They rhyming couplet at the end does a good job of summing up your theme. Just one thing I might mention. Line 5 seems to have just nine syllables. I believe it's supposed to have ten. Let me know if I'm wrong. Cowboy
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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I like this very much. You have a lot of excellent imagery. They rhyming couplet at the end does a good job of summing up your theme. Just one thing I might mention. Line 5 seems to have just nine syllables. I believe it's supposed to have ten. Let me know if I'm wrong. Cowboy
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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Thank you for this encouraging review. I greatly appreciate your kind comments and I will definately take a look at liine 5 again.
Blessings
Janet
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You're most welcome. Cowboy
Comment from royowen
Isn't that so true Janet? I was sharing with a friend of mine the other day, my Christian walk has been a life shared in hindsight, never quite sure of knowing where I'm going, but I've seen God's hand on where've I've been. Beautifully written entry in this contest my friend, but the super language has capture two young lovers in an instant in time, I don't think they care going or coming, they wish they were just in the moment. A smooth, perfectly balanced sonnet, with a lovely smoothness, rhyming and captive moments. Good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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Isn't that so true Janet? I was sharing with a friend of mine the other day, my Christian walk has been a life shared in hindsight, never quite sure of knowing where I'm going, but I've seen God's hand on where've I've been. Beautifully written entry in this contest my friend, but the super language has capture two young lovers in an instant in time, I don't think they care going or coming, they wish they were just in the moment. A smooth, perfectly balanced sonnet, with a lovely smoothness, rhyming and captive moments. Good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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Thank you Roy for this most encouraging review. I always appreciate your comments and the six stars is a special bonus.
Blessings
Janet
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My pleasure Janet
Comment from Hitcher
Very nice friend, very nice indeed ! A touch of romance fused with the nights heavenly beauty, which like life itself can be forever changing and volatile : ) Your choice of picture is pretty cool too, good luck!
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Very nice friend, very nice indeed ! A touch of romance fused with the nights heavenly beauty, which like life itself can be forever changing and volatile : ) Your choice of picture is pretty cool too, good luck!
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Air Spirit
This is an excellent Shakespearean Sonnet --- of which many, I don't particularly care for, because they can sound stilted sometimes... but yours had a nice rhythm and rhyme to it... plus, the picture is outstanding! That grabbed my attention right away.. the verbiage was easy to understand, and had a purity and free flowing sound and movement to it... My favorite line by far is: "...Their world stood still but time just seemed to fly
and blur the Milky Way to antique lace..." That is mysterious, worldly and magical... lace is such a feminine reference, and I like the personification of the Universe being 'female' ... thank you for this delight... I wish I had a six star to give, but they run out so quickly, with all of the outstanding writers on this site! Beautiful read!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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This is an excellent Shakespearean Sonnet --- of which many, I don't particularly care for, because they can sound stilted sometimes... but yours had a nice rhythm and rhyme to it... plus, the picture is outstanding! That grabbed my attention right away.. the verbiage was easy to understand, and had a purity and free flowing sound and movement to it... My favorite line by far is: "...Their world stood still but time just seemed to fly
and blur the Milky Way to antique lace..." That is mysterious, worldly and magical... lace is such a feminine reference, and I like the personification of the Universe being 'female' ... thank you for this delight... I wish I had a six star to give, but they run out so quickly, with all of the outstanding writers on this site! Beautiful read!
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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Thank you for this most encouraging review. I greatly appreciate your kind comments and I'm so pleased that you liked this one.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Sylvia Page
Hello Jmf4119
This is simply beautiful. I particularly like these lines. They sum up the sonnet very well. Thank you!
The trials of life are seldom understood
'til time and space reveal their greater good.
Best of wishes in the contest
Sylvia
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Hello Jmf4119
This is simply beautiful. I particularly like these lines. They sum up the sonnet very well. Thank you!
The trials of life are seldom understood
'til time and space reveal their greater good.
Best of wishes in the contest
Sylvia
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Sylvia for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from meeshu
this is really an excellent sonnet, JMF. beautiful language and images. wonderful cadence and flow leading up to a great 'kicker' line at the end..........meeshu
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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this is really an excellent sonnet, JMF. beautiful language and images. wonderful cadence and flow leading up to a great 'kicker' line at the end..........meeshu
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you meeshu for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Joy Graham
You have presented a fine love story through picture and sonnet. You have good iambic tetrameter. I stumbled over, "trials", but have no objection to altering my preference to pronounce it with two syllables. I respect your poetic license and it works just fine for me. Your rhymes are all fine. You have a terrific turn in the third stanza. You have a fine story of romance. I see no issues to bring to your attention. Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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You have presented a fine love story through picture and sonnet. You have good iambic tetrameter. I stumbled over, "trials", but have no objection to altering my preference to pronounce it with two syllables. I respect your poetic license and it works just fine for me. Your rhymes are all fine. You have a terrific turn in the third stanza. You have a fine story of romance. I see no issues to bring to your attention. Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Joy for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I always appreciate your comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from l.raven
Hi Janet, the hardest job in the world is keeping a true love relationship together...they start out on the top...and the job is to keep them from hitting rock bottom...I love your poem sweet girl...and your picture is stunning...very well written you...love you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Hi Janet, the hardest job in the world is keeping a true love relationship together...they start out on the top...and the job is to keep them from hitting rock bottom...I love your poem sweet girl...and your picture is stunning...very well written you...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Linda for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I always appreciate hearing from you dear friend.
Blessings
Janet
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you are sooo welcome Janet...always...Blessings to you too...love xxoo
Comment from patcelaw
This is a beautiful sonnet for the contest Good luck in the contest. Often our trials in life are not understood as they happen but, after the trial is over we see it has worked for our greater good. Patricia
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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This is a beautiful sonnet for the contest Good luck in the contest. Often our trials in life are not understood as they happen but, after the trial is over we see it has worked for our greater good. Patricia
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Patricia for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from ciliverde
You have done a very nice job on this Shakespearean sonnet. I especially love your ending couplet, which ties in with your theme of the night sky, stars and outer space and then reveals a greater truth. I sure hope you're right about that! I have to confess that I'm not that fond of shortening words (silv'ry) but I know why we do it.
Good luck in th contest!
Carol
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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You have done a very nice job on this Shakespearean sonnet. I especially love your ending couplet, which ties in with your theme of the night sky, stars and outer space and then reveals a greater truth. I sure hope you're right about that! I have to confess that I'm not that fond of shortening words (silv'ry) but I know why we do it.
Good luck in th contest!
Carol
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Carol for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
