Man's Great Folly
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Siren Song of Spring"environmental poems
64 total reviews
Comment from Chris Walker
I wish I had a 6 to give! This is so wonderful. I love the 2 distinct parts you've written. The first poem is hard hitting and speaks to how mankind lives and what the inevitable end is--The Bacteria Principle. The second piece creates images and shows us what we are losing with the way we have taken care of our world.
Exceptional! ~Chris
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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I wish I had a 6 to give! This is so wonderful. I love the 2 distinct parts you've written. The first poem is hard hitting and speaks to how mankind lives and what the inevitable end is--The Bacteria Principle. The second piece creates images and shows us what we are losing with the way we have taken care of our world.
Exceptional! ~Chris
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Thank you Chris, so nice to hear. Thank you.
Comment from NJK62
This is a stunning free verse poem: a wonderful element of the project. It is a poem that rewards reading and re-reading. There are so many aspects to comment upon.
I particularly liked the image:
I mutated
to a Biology major.
'Mutated' suggests that an interest in the natural word is in some way odd or (no pun intended) unnatural.
The rhyme of:
We...re-relate
to what we can't create.
is perfect. It allows the theme of the poem to ring out: we have a choice to form a new relationship with Earth, one that is more more harmonious and more productive. Self-destruction is not inevitable.
The poem ends with a witty play on words:
We have man
and we have nature-
And only the nature
of man
holds us back.
The key word here is 'only': the problems are not insuperable.
This poem provides an interesting balance to the more pessimistic views of some of the other poems in the collection, including my own. It reveals some highly accomplished writing! Nigel.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
 |
This is a stunning free verse poem: a wonderful element of the project. It is a poem that rewards reading and re-reading. There are so many aspects to comment upon.
I particularly liked the image:
I mutated
to a Biology major.
'Mutated' suggests that an interest in the natural word is in some way odd or (no pun intended) unnatural.
The rhyme of:
We...re-relate
to what we can't create.
is perfect. It allows the theme of the poem to ring out: we have a choice to form a new relationship with Earth, one that is more more harmonious and more productive. Self-destruction is not inevitable.
The poem ends with a witty play on words:
We have man
and we have nature-
And only the nature
of man
holds us back.
The key word here is 'only': the problems are not insuperable.
This poem provides an interesting balance to the more pessimistic views of some of the other poems in the collection, including my own. It reveals some highly accomplished writing! Nigel.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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How to reply to a review that I have already re-read many times. We all need ego reinforcement. That is possibly not the most apprapo way of describing one of our basic needs, but nevertheless... Thank you. I will offer a suggestion to you to read one of my short stories:What's In A Grade? It is a ways back in my portfolio. The reason is not about me. It's about you. And the obvious but unecessary remnants of self doubt concerning your writing abilities.Noone can stumble upon or accidently create the wonder that is your last poem. Believe. In yourself. victortouche
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Thanks, I will. Nigel.
Comment from camaria
Loved it! I mutated into a biology major. That was just perfect! And the rest of the poem delivered well. Poignant with that light touch of humour to contrast. Elegantly simple, yet beautiful descriptions. Asks the probong questions that still drive the minds of every scientist and child alike, but that most adults need a bit of help recalling. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Loved it! I mutated into a biology major. That was just perfect! And the rest of the poem delivered well. Poignant with that light touch of humour to contrast. Elegantly simple, yet beautiful descriptions. Asks the probong questions that still drive the minds of every scientist and child alike, but that most adults need a bit of help recalling. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Ha. I'm still mutating I think. Thank you so very much. For reading. For caring. For having an obvious intellect. :) Doug
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Yes, this is a very over-populated world, only wars and disease keeps it down slightly. For every death I believe there are two more born. Hmm. I enjoyed your second part, but have to say the whole does paint an terrible picture for the future of mankind. Excellent poem, Victor. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Yes, this is a very over-populated world, only wars and disease keeps it down slightly. For every death I believe there are two more born. Hmm. I enjoyed your second part, but have to say the whole does paint an terrible picture for the future of mankind. Excellent poem, Victor. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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I know, Sandra. I know. But hope must stay alive, or...all is lost. Thank you.
Comment from Sandisan
Yes we have to watch what we do to our beautiful planet. I like how you take your reader through the various stages leading to Spring and re-birth. I enjoyed reading this, good writing.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Yes we have to watch what we do to our beautiful planet. I like how you take your reader through the various stages leading to Spring and re-birth. I enjoyed reading this, good writing.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Thank you.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
And only the nature
of man
holds us back.
I love both parts and have seen more and more poems combined as such. Often they are numbered with a roman numeral for each part. The above lines are a great summation of the problem. I wish I had a six left for you, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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And only the nature
of man
holds us back.
I love both parts and have seen more and more poems combined as such. Often they are numbered with a roman numeral for each part. The above lines are a great summation of the problem. I wish I had a six left for you, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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And I wish ther were more people like you, Debbie.
Comment from closetpoetjester
Well actually biology was my worst subject at school, however I DO remember the first twenty elements due to good old H Heli BebKNOFF NeNa MagAL SiPS ClArKA...
I often got mixed up with genus and species. Hey, maybe you could give me a biology lesson LMAO
Hmm, maybe not. LOL
Seriously Viktor...it's a miracle we're even here to be discussing this and I say your caves of hibernation, blue skies, filthy feet and yawning mountains...provided a distinct reason as to why we should hold on tight to what we have but at the same time respect our Eden on earth.
SOOOOOOOOOO much to be thankful for, very fucking little to complain about.
Nicely done Mr Bio Major.
Christ, I feel inferior.
Didn't yell once.
The Hanger
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Well actually biology was my worst subject at school, however I DO remember the first twenty elements due to good old H Heli BebKNOFF NeNa MagAL SiPS ClArKA...
I often got mixed up with genus and species. Hey, maybe you could give me a biology lesson LMAO
Hmm, maybe not. LOL
Seriously Viktor...it's a miracle we're even here to be discussing this and I say your caves of hibernation, blue skies, filthy feet and yawning mountains...provided a distinct reason as to why we should hold on tight to what we have but at the same time respect our Eden on earth.
SOOOOOOOOOO much to be thankful for, very fucking little to complain about.
Nicely done Mr Bio Major.
Christ, I feel inferior.
Didn't yell once.
The Hanger
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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No, you didn't. And I'm soo dissapointed.
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Ahh yes, ever the disappointment.
LMAO
At least I'm consistent.
Comment from C.J. 16
An interesting, thought provoking poem. I like your last two stanzas best of all. Good work on this. Thanks and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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An interesting, thought provoking poem. I like your last two stanzas best of all. Good work on this. Thanks and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Well, I do think they are my best. So you must know what you're doing. LOL Thank you.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Victor: so glad you migrated from biology to being a poet. Wow, you have lots of observations. Glad you listen Rama Devi who it tops with Cat! Yes, you go from the world to the tadpole. Enjoy going barefoot on the earth with a friend. Learn from your mistakes! What a fun class! Well written! flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Victor: so glad you migrated from biology to being a poet. Wow, you have lots of observations. Glad you listen Rama Devi who it tops with Cat! Yes, you go from the world to the tadpole. Enjoy going barefoot on the earth with a friend. Learn from your mistakes! What a fun class! Well written! flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Thank you. Now wash your feet. LOL
Comment from Mark Valentine
I love it - I don't know that I've ever seen a poem quite like this with a premable and then a "now here comes the poem" pivot - it's original and engaging. Two seemingly different parts, and yet the end to part 2 seems to bring it back full circle - the greatest threat, and the hope, for our future is us.
Some great lines - some humorous (especially the first three stanzas) , some profound ("we have Eden right here on earth") - I like that there is an optimism to it despite our track record.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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I love it - I don't know that I've ever seen a poem quite like this with a premable and then a "now here comes the poem" pivot - it's original and engaging. Two seemingly different parts, and yet the end to part 2 seems to bring it back full circle - the greatest threat, and the hope, for our future is us.
Some great lines - some humorous (especially the first three stanzas) , some profound ("we have Eden right here on earth") - I like that there is an optimism to it despite our track record.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Thanks. A wonderful review to receive.
