The End
Minute Poem contest entry41 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
Your minute poem works very well on a technical and message level.
A life so rich is fleeting breath
till glooming Death,
with mournful sighs,
can claim his prize.
( I'd never thought of Death claiming a prize, but this is reminiscent of Grim Reaper imagery and one looming as someone realises that life is in fact short, no matter how rich. It seems to focus on the dross of death and paints a pitiful scene.)
For all who sail this ocean deep,
where fickle sweep
of wind and wave
may test the brave,
shall face one final mystery
where sky meets sea,
the world ablaze
at end of days.
(Your final verses enjamb, so I'll reflect on these together. The meaning is a repetition of the theme in vs 1, but the imagery is of ocean adventure in which life is lived more fully as on a sailing ship facing life's elements. The end comes for such as these but the mystery of death is one more revelation at the end of days, not the one of fear and gloom that is experienced by those whose life was less adventurous or lived to the full.)
I hope that's somewhere near the meaning. A deep and poetic turn in this 'minute' poem, Steve. I'd expect nothing less.
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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Your minute poem works very well on a technical and message level.
A life so rich is fleeting breath
till glooming Death,
with mournful sighs,
can claim his prize.
( I'd never thought of Death claiming a prize, but this is reminiscent of Grim Reaper imagery and one looming as someone realises that life is in fact short, no matter how rich. It seems to focus on the dross of death and paints a pitiful scene.)
For all who sail this ocean deep,
where fickle sweep
of wind and wave
may test the brave,
shall face one final mystery
where sky meets sea,
the world ablaze
at end of days.
(Your final verses enjamb, so I'll reflect on these together. The meaning is a repetition of the theme in vs 1, but the imagery is of ocean adventure in which life is lived more fully as on a sailing ship facing life's elements. The end comes for such as these but the mystery of death is one more revelation at the end of days, not the one of fear and gloom that is experienced by those whose life was less adventurous or lived to the full.)
I hope that's somewhere near the meaning. A deep and poetic turn in this 'minute' poem, Steve. I'd expect nothing less.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
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Mark. thanks so much for the great, thoughtful review.
I guess the mechanics of this form aren't too difficult, so I try to give it a bit of depth in the content - glad you thought that was successful.
Steve
