Haiku (Storm of snow)
Contest entry62 total reviews
Comment from fayesh
You have the syllable count, but there seems to be a disconnect between the joy felt by the polar bears and the image in the second line. Instead of the word "fury," why not "music?"
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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You have the syllable count, but there seems to be a disconnect between the joy felt by the polar bears and the image in the second line. Instead of the word "fury," why not "music?"
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Thank you again fayesh for the feedback and review. I used the word "fury" and "polar bears dance?" to show that in the worst of times we can still dance!
Thank you again and God Bless.
Comment from TKField
Yes, I knew a Polar bear that could dance the Foxtrot, but good luck trying to get them into a proper conga-line. who doesn't love those ice-pack dwelling polar bears. Apparently they like to drink cokes and speak the queen's English. This Hi-Coo about ravaging snows and blinding fury, brings home the bacon, so to speak concerning all things snowy and blizzard like. Snow what I mean?
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Yes, I knew a Polar bear that could dance the Foxtrot, but good luck trying to get them into a proper conga-line. who doesn't love those ice-pack dwelling polar bears. Apparently they like to drink cokes and speak the queen's English. This Hi-Coo about ravaging snows and blinding fury, brings home the bacon, so to speak concerning all things snowy and blizzard like. Snow what I mean?
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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LOL! Thank you for this funny and inspiring review with kind stars TKfield. I have had an overwhelming response with this piece for the most part. There is one that believes the lines disconnect, they say the joy felt by the polar bears do not go with fury! God Bless!
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
Comment from Val Crisson
Interesting take on this haiku contest. Before I go on, I think you should drop any caps you have in the poem, as real haiku does not have caps. I think you address the snowstorm prompt with originality and creativity, and since the prompt allows personification "polar bears dance" is fine.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Interesting take on this haiku contest. Before I go on, I think you should drop any caps you have in the poem, as real haiku does not have caps. I think you address the snowstorm prompt with originality and creativity, and since the prompt allows personification "polar bears dance" is fine.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Thank you Val for the excellent review and stars. I did not know the caps were not allowed, I am so very new at this type of poetry. This is why I joined this site, so I can grow and I have grown considerably in the last 3 weeks. I Made the changes on the caps and will go back in and add the quotations. Thank you again and God Bless!
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hello,
This is an awesome photo of the tussling polar bears to help complement your haiku. Makes for a beautiful presentation.
Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Hello,
This is an awesome photo of the tussling polar bears to help complement your haiku. Makes for a beautiful presentation.
Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Thank you Jax for the awesome review and excellent stars. God Bless!
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
Comment from mermaids
This is lovely,polar bears dance is a wonderful line that brings up good feelings. Your haiku form creates a beautiful side to snow storms and winter. Excellent poetic form.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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This is lovely,polar bears dance is a wonderful line that brings up good feelings. Your haiku form creates a beautiful side to snow storms and winter. Excellent poetic form.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Thank you mermaids for the awesome review and excellent stars. God Bless!
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
Comment from l.raven
I love your poem...polar bears are my favorite...of the wild kingdom...they love the cold and the snow...a great poem...and a beautiful picture...
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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I love your poem...polar bears are my favorite...of the wild kingdom...they love the cold and the snow...a great poem...and a beautiful picture...
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Thank you I.raven for another excellent review and stars. I always appreciate the time you give to read my work. God Bless!
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you are so welcome...always...Love Linda God Bless
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
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I will...you are so welcome...xxoo
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. The imagery is well thought out and relates to the satori nicely. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully. The imagery is well thought out and relates to the satori nicely. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Thank you Mystic, your reviews are always an inspiration to me. God Bless!
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
Comment from Ben Colder
Not sure I would stick close enough to watch. Look as if they could care less about the snow.Nice poem. Hope you win. Shalom.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Not sure I would stick close enough to watch. Look as if they could care less about the snow.Nice poem. Hope you win. Shalom.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Thank you Ben Colder and I have received the most wonderful reviews with this piece so far. Hopefully everyone will vote LOL. God Bless!
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
Comment from donaldww
As per the rules, this haiku is about a snowstorm and has 17 syllables. The insight is that polar bears enjoy the snow. Good luck with the contest!
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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As per the rules, this haiku is about a snowstorm and has 17 syllables. The insight is that polar bears enjoy the snow. Good luck with the contest!
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Thank you DW, I have received the best of reviews on this piece and thoroughly enjoyed writing it. God Bless!
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
Comment from GeorgieBoy
I am beginning to understand Haiku. It is a real unique talent to write, I think. Mostly, in my opinion, because it must be precise. I admire your talent in this. The storm of snow, is compelling to me.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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I am beginning to understand Haiku. It is a real unique talent to write, I think. Mostly, in my opinion, because it must be precise. I admire your talent in this. The storm of snow, is compelling to me.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Thank you GeorgieBoy for the incredible six stars you have offered. I joined fanstory for the reviews and feedback which have brought me great growth in the last six weeks. God Bless!
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Thank you again for the awesome review. The voting has began under Haiku-snowstorm. Please take the time to vote. God Bless!
