Destination: Hope
The Last Train Back61 total reviews
Comment from comanalbert
When you are out to do a serious job, you do it with fireworks included..
This one goes to my bookcase and will be a milestone for me.
What else can I say? Write more like that, you inspire us!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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When you are out to do a serious job, you do it with fireworks included..
This one goes to my bookcase and will be a milestone for me.
What else can I say? Write more like that, you inspire us!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, my friend. When inspired, I can really dig in, brother. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with an interesting flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery and descriptive schreme.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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This is very well written with an interesting flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery and descriptive schreme.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Charlie. I appreciate it.
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You're welcome, M. Charlie
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Wow that was a long trip and it is a long trip when you fight your way out of depression and pain. Very clever and original David. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Wow that was a long trip and it is a long trip when you fight your way out of depression and pain. Very clever and original David. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Nancy! I appreciate it.
Comment from A Jesterstear
Good to see you back big M. One hell of a ride, could have been worse though, Casey Jones could have been at the wheel.
My father always said "son, don't ever get on a train if Casey Jones is driving it" War and Peace eat your heart out. What a great read. AJ.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Good to see you back big M. One hell of a ride, could have been worse though, Casey Jones could have been at the wheel.
My father always said "son, don't ever get on a train if Casey Jones is driving it" War and Peace eat your heart out. What a great read. AJ.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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You think Casey would've gone off the rails, my friend? Probably! Thanks so much, AJ. I appreciate it!
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is a really very good piece of work - one long metaphorical ride throughout. I can find nothing to say except once again you have given us a very worthwhile read. I enjoyed every line. The message is clear - the writer worked a way through a very bad patch and came back in a more positive frame of mind. Lovely. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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This is a really very good piece of work - one long metaphorical ride throughout. I can find nothing to say except once again you have given us a very worthwhile read. I enjoyed every line. The message is clear - the writer worked a way through a very bad patch and came back in a more positive frame of mind. Lovely. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Thank you so very much, Dorothy, for the six stars and for your wonderful review. I really appreciate it!
David
Comment from MercurySeven
This one has an epic Western feel, but in stark black and white, almost crossing into Twilight Zone territory with its ingenious, why-didn't-I-think-of that concept. It's dazzling. The symbolic station/town names as milestones for this spiritual journey make it one of my favourites of yours, purely from a design standpoint.
But it's also full of wisdom, and demands multiple readings. In other words, it's art, brother.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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This one has an epic Western feel, but in stark black and white, almost crossing into Twilight Zone territory with its ingenious, why-didn't-I-think-of that concept. It's dazzling. The symbolic station/town names as milestones for this spiritual journey make it one of my favourites of yours, purely from a design standpoint.
But it's also full of wisdom, and demands multiple readings. In other words, it's art, brother.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Rob, for that sixer and for the wonderful comments, my friend. It means a lot to get a nod from you on creative aspects, especially considering that mind of yours. Many thanks, bro.
Comment from Julia.
It's tough to sustain a metaphor well in a poem of this length, but I think this works. I particularly liked a few of the smaller descriptions:
"passed disjointed homes in Madness, on a twister-wasted plain"
"the iron streets of Bitter, and the hollow mine, Depressed."
I'm not quite as sure about using "soul" four times in the poem, though. The last two times were in pretty close proximity so it made the repetition more obvious.
The rhyme and meter were well done, of course, and the last line was a great way to end the poem.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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It's tough to sustain a metaphor well in a poem of this length, but I think this works. I particularly liked a few of the smaller descriptions:
"passed disjointed homes in Madness, on a twister-wasted plain"
"the iron streets of Bitter, and the hollow mine, Depressed."
I'm not quite as sure about using "soul" four times in the poem, though. The last two times were in pretty close proximity so it made the repetition more obvious.
The rhyme and meter were well done, of course, and the last line was a great way to end the poem.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Julia. I normally agree about repetitive use, but since that was so important to the conceit of the poem, I kind of let it go a bit. I may go back and see if I can find alternatives to one or two. I appreciate your thoughts. my friend.
Comment from GWinterwin
Good picture with a good poem to match. Good word flow and rhyming is great, as tell of this train ride. So many things to ponder and yet finding hope at the end of the ride.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Good picture with a good poem to match. Good word flow and rhyming is great, as tell of this train ride. So many things to ponder and yet finding hope at the end of the ride.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate it.
Comment from Acquired Taste
Simply a melodic, moving journey in a perfect setting.
Using the adjectives: Hope, Acceptance, Bitter etc. is a stroke of genius.
An excellent poem and one I thoroughly enjoyed.
AT=/
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Simply a melodic, moving journey in a perfect setting.
Using the adjectives: Hope, Acceptance, Bitter etc. is a stroke of genius.
An excellent poem and one I thoroughly enjoyed.
AT=/
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, AT. I really appreciate the sixer and the wonderful review. Have a great week. I loved the idea of personifying the emotions we go through to get back to hope.
Comment from Woman~Loved
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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Don't chicken out, my friend. I don't mean those notes to be intimidating or off-putting. I really appreciate the sixer, though, and your kind words. I really appreciate your review and your flattering comments.
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It really is helpful that you explain that. Some of the rhythms don't sound right to me in different poems and if there were no notes about it, I wouldn't know that you meant it to be like that. You are welcome. :0)
