Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Hi, Dean.

You express the love of a parent perfectly here.

It upset me a bit as my only child and I have recently fallen out, and it reminded me of when she was a baby. Oh well, life goes on.

Nice one! Ted

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Oh, I am very sorry to hear about you & your child, my dear friend. But, don't worry, they will come around, they usually do.

Thank you for the wonderful review, my friend. It's much appreciated!

reply by Domino 2 on 09-Dec-2013

Thanks for your thoughtful and comforting words, Dean.

Comment from Cajungirl

Excellent

Perfect love story. There is nothing to compare to the love most have for their children. Unfortunately, some children will never experience such love. Your poem is simply beautiful it expresses your love for Zachery and Chelsea. i enjoyed it.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Thanks so much, Cajungirl. I really appreciate that. I know it was simply worded, but yet, the message truly comes from my heart, and my kids read it and understood that.

Thanks so much, again!

Comment from Petriesan

Excellent

nice formatting to a very good message, one most ought to say but too many do not.

The laughter surprised me.

Good worker her e,a ll around

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Thanks very much, Petriesan. I truly appreciate the very kind comments and review.

Comment from Silent1rose

Excellent

This is just lovely. We should all be thankful for our parents and the love that they give. This is very well written. Thanks for sharing. ~ Rose

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Thanks, Silent1rose. I really appreciate that!

reply by Silent1rose on 09-Dec-2013

My pleasure

Comment from joneau2

Excellent

A charming and endearing post regarding your children, your feeling toward them shining through. My goodness, you write so well regarless of the subject you choose ... quite a gift.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Thanks, John, and the same could be said for you too, my friend.

reply by joneau2 on 09-Dec-2013

Thanks, Dean.

Comment from Spitfire

Good

I love that you fit the words to the picture. As for the content, while it is genuine, it's been said by so many and lacks your personal touch. It's good, but to be honest, too cliched for me.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Thanks for your honesty, Shari. It seems most of my more heartfelt pieces, pieces I write what my heat feels, often seem cliche' to you. That's a bit worrisome to me, LOL...and puzzling, too!
;{

reply by Spitfire on 09-Dec-2013

Please, Dean, I'm not an expert on poetry, but I do like for fresh images and poetic devices. There is danger in writing from the heart as one tends to fall into exhausted phrases. Wordsworth (I think) defined poetry as emotions recollected in tranquility.
I write from my heart, but critique from my head. You're obviously gifted as shown by the contests you win.

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

No, I really appreciate your honstety. I made it very simple because it was written as a gift for my kids for Christmas. They both are normal, average teenagers, so you can barley get them to read anything longer than two or three lines. But, they really loved this, and my daughter cried (she's such a big softie!). My daughter suggested I format it for FanStory and post it, so here it is, for what it's worth.

reply by Spitfire on 09-Dec-2013

Then it served its purpose. Heck, a man can steal my heart by cleaning my house!

reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Hah ha! I'd clean your house any day of the week, Shari, LOL...

Comment from DR DIP

Exceptional

beautifully presented and "heartfeltly" written..and the beauty is; I know that every word you say is true!

your poetry is aideline in your eyes..but in my eyes its your equal and more!!
as always dip

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Thanks, dipster, I really appreciate it my friend.

Comment from Rosalyne

Excellent

Hi Dean,
This is such a lovely poem and shares the unconditional love a parent feels for their children. The laugh track you added to the poem had me laughing, such a contagious giggle!
Bye
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Thanks a million, Rosalyne, I truly appreciate it!

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

awe so sweet you do have a soft mushy side hehe under all that pretense of the great horror write.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxaweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Hah, yeah, I really do, CRW, but you already knew that, now, didn't you?

reply by country ranch writer on 09-Dec-2013

hey I am a mom I know these things hehe your eyes tell all

Comment from elchupakabra

Excellent

Ok, two things here Dean. One, I know it's not meant to, but because it's you, that child's laugh is menacingly terrifying :( Lol, seriously, it's a bit chilling. Also, your description or whatever says pitapoems not picta poems lol, so unless your poems are also delicious, edible wraps, I think you have a typo there. Other than that, really great work on this family personal; short, sweet and straight to the heartstrings. Excellent work, buddy, thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013

Hah, ha! Even your reviews are extremely entertaining!

I'll fix that right away, 'Chup, LOL...