Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Wiyaphe Moon"Murder Mystery
49 total reviews
Comment from Joy Graham
Spectacular assault - should be "assault"
This is a terrific chapter, Bev. I understand what is going on and I fel the need to grab a pillow and hide so I don't see the demons LOL!!!
I start writing my next novel for nanowrimo on Friday morning. I'm nervous and hope. I can do it again. I will post a chapter at a time when. I can.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Spectacular assault - should be "assault"
This is a terrific chapter, Bev. I understand what is going on and I fel the need to grab a pillow and hide so I don't see the demons LOL!!!
I start writing my next novel for nanowrimo on Friday morning. I'm nervous and hope. I can do it again. I will post a chapter at a time when. I can.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Hi, Joy. I was lost without the spellcheck. I haven't been able to get access it for the last two days. Keeps telling me it's not available. Anyway, I appreciate your catching that Spaggie and your awesomely generous review. I can't wait to read your posts! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Aussie
You must have done a lot of research to find the rites of exorcism. Your story is grabbing my attention like the movie - Amityville. Scary and true stuff: evil lives everywhere, in that movie, even the Priest was killed trying to exorcise the devil. From reading your chapter, I think you are on a winner to publish this - it has such reality for the reader and I wish you well - looking forward to more writing. Blessings, Kay. ****** six virtual stars - I don't have real ones to give to you!
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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You must have done a lot of research to find the rites of exorcism. Your story is grabbing my attention like the movie - Amityville. Scary and true stuff: evil lives everywhere, in that movie, even the Priest was killed trying to exorcise the devil. From reading your chapter, I think you are on a winner to publish this - it has such reality for the reader and I wish you well - looking forward to more writing. Blessings, Kay. ****** six virtual stars - I don't have real ones to give to you!
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for your wonderfully encouraging review, Kay. Your words mean a lot to me. Yes, I've had a long interest in this subject. It's not always comfortable to deal with this side of life, but I feel telling my story will be of service to others. Your virtual six is gratefully accepted! Blessings to you as well, Bev
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I was caught by a real Romany gypsy - she almost stole my soul. I ended up in a mental ward. I always remember the lesson - never play with fire and never let the devil in! Bless you, Kay.
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Wow, that must have been horrible for you, Kay. There's so much in this world that is still much of a mystery. Glad you made it 'back'. XX Bev
Comment from Selina Stambi
To be continued ... aw, darn it!
Bev, this was an amazing read! You built up the tension to unbearable levels, and then the door bell rings!
The bit with the Madonna's statue was incredible!
Can't wait for the next chapter, my wonderful friend.
Hugs and love,
xxx
Sonali
swallowing the weak light bleeding through the window shades ... fabulous expression!
man he replaced(,) despite the fact (that) it was spacious with a
sexual trysts with young boys (had) occurred in the room.
The fact (that) the de-frocked cleric's furniture still remained(,) further creeped him out.. creeped him out seems a bit colloquial ... further unsettled him?
of the man he replaced (despite the fact that) it was spacious / in silent invitation, (despite the fact(that)) it had been ... you've used this expression twice almost one after the other ... change one of them to avoid repetition?
grabbed the crucifix (lying) against his banging heart
The cross he clutched(,) warmed the palm of his hand.
. "You(,) who made man in your own image
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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To be continued ... aw, darn it!
Bev, this was an amazing read! You built up the tension to unbearable levels, and then the door bell rings!
The bit with the Madonna's statue was incredible!
Can't wait for the next chapter, my wonderful friend.
Hugs and love,
xxx
Sonali
swallowing the weak light bleeding through the window shades ... fabulous expression!
man he replaced(,) despite the fact (that) it was spacious with a
sexual trysts with young boys (had) occurred in the room.
The fact (that) the de-frocked cleric's furniture still remained(,) further creeped him out.. creeped him out seems a bit colloquial ... further unsettled him?
of the man he replaced (despite the fact that) it was spacious / in silent invitation, (despite the fact(that)) it had been ... you've used this expression twice almost one after the other ... change one of them to avoid repetition?
grabbed the crucifix (lying) against his banging heart
The cross he clutched(,) warmed the palm of his hand.
. "You(,) who made man in your own image
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Hi, Sonali. Thank you so much for this awesome review! You are so kind and generous. I'll make the changes you suggested, and really appreciate your attention to the details. Big Hug, Bev
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You have surpassed yourself with this write, doll! You got my last six - I would have been crushed if I didn't have it for you. xx
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Aw, you're so kind, Sonali. XXXooo Bev
Comment from AprilShower
This chapter is extremely powerful, Bev. The story was also frightening. I hope nothing like this could ever happen. It certainly has kept me at the edge of my seat. It is well written, my friend.
April
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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This chapter is extremely powerful, Bev. The story was also frightening. I hope nothing like this could ever happen. It certainly has kept me at the edge of my seat. It is well written, my friend.
April
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Hi, April. Thank you for this wonderful review. I wish I could say that my account was totally fictional.
Thank you for being so generous and supportive.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Wow, Bev! This is a remarkable chapter. I was spellbound by the fascinating exorcism, the specific words used, and the fact that good prevailed. I still find it interesting that the Catholic Church is the only Christian religion that will exorcise demons.
As far as the structure of this chapter . . . the suspense was skillfully written. The mention of Monsignor Flaherty and his crimes added to the horror of the scene. Alyx is an interesting presence, and a great help and comfort to Brian. So very well written, Bev.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Wow, Bev! This is a remarkable chapter. I was spellbound by the fascinating exorcism, the specific words used, and the fact that good prevailed. I still find it interesting that the Catholic Church is the only Christian religion that will exorcise demons.
As far as the structure of this chapter . . . the suspense was skillfully written. The mention of Monsignor Flaherty and his crimes added to the horror of the scene. Alyx is an interesting presence, and a great help and comfort to Brian. So very well written, Bev.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Hi, Marietta. Thank you so much for the six stars, and even more, the thorough and supportive review. That means a lot to me, and I can't thank you enough. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Really well done as always. It is interesting to hear part of The Roman Ritual of Excorcism. I don't think that I have ever heard them before. It is a comfort to know that no matter how powerful satan, God is far stronger. Looking forward to the next chapter. Rox
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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Really well done as always. It is interesting to hear part of The Roman Ritual of Excorcism. I don't think that I have ever heard them before. It is a comfort to know that no matter how powerful satan, God is far stronger. Looking forward to the next chapter. Rox
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Thanks so much for the great review, Rox. Your support means a lot to me. Like Father Brian, I find great comfort in prayer.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from barkingdog
Superbe chapter, Bev. Fast and continuous flow. I didn't stop for a second. One line led to the next seamlessly. Fine dialogue between the entity and Brian. Realistic prayer to cast out the evil spirit.
Alyx added reality to the supernatural experience. Can't fool an animal. LOL
Bravo. It's perfect.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Superbe chapter, Bev. Fast and continuous flow. I didn't stop for a second. One line led to the next seamlessly. Fine dialogue between the entity and Brian. Realistic prayer to cast out the evil spirit.
Alyx added reality to the supernatural experience. Can't fool an animal. LOL
Bravo. It's perfect.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Ellen, this review is so awesome! Thank you seems inadequate. I can always count on you to lift my spirits AND keep me on track. Hugs, Bev
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You sooooooooooooooooo earned this six. It's a perfect Halloween chapter, but more. :) e
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Aw, thank you sweet lady. XXX Bev
Comment from judiverse
This is really spooky. Six stars indeed. That should be lucky. The atmosphere is great in this. Father Brian's feelings on going into Flaherty's room are well described. The sulphur smell and the freezing temperature are excellent details. The fact that the dog feels the presence makes Father Brian know he isn't just making it up. The exorcism he bravely tries seems to have some effect, so he says he's won this round. Saved by the doorbell. judi
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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This is really spooky. Six stars indeed. That should be lucky. The atmosphere is great in this. Father Brian's feelings on going into Flaherty's room are well described. The sulphur smell and the freezing temperature are excellent details. The fact that the dog feels the presence makes Father Brian know he isn't just making it up. The exorcism he bravely tries seems to have some effect, so he says he's won this round. Saved by the doorbell. judi
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Judi, thank you so much for this very generous review. I so appreciate your sticking with me through this novel. Your positivity and support mean a lot to me. Hugs, Bev
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You're so welcome. Just keep it up! judi
Comment from c_lucas
A different format to oust a demon, but the wording was there:(The following always work for me. "In the name of the FATHER, SON AND HOLY GHOST, BE GONE"
***
This is very well written and you described the screen in a believable manner. Good job.
ERROR
do battle with the evil besieging him."(
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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A different format to oust a demon, but the wording was there:(The following always work for me. "In the name of the FATHER, SON AND HOLY GHOST, BE GONE"
***
This is very well written and you described the screen in a believable manner. Good job.
ERROR
do battle with the evil besieging him."(
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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I think that would be something a layperson like myself would be comfortable with charlie. Thanks for the great review and for catching the error. Warm regards, Bev
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You are welcome, PM to follow.
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Ohkeedokee.
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ps, don't wear a pointed hat on Halloween night and leave the neighbor's kids alone. My pm is for your eyes only.
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I understand, charlie. I've had some interesting phenomenon occuring during the writing of my novel.
Oh, and thanks for the Halloween advice.
:0) Bev
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I sense in you have the strength that can handle anything.
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Aw, that means a lot to me, charlie. You've really touched my heart. Xx Bev
