A Picture's Worth a Thousand Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "~A Warrior's Call~"A compilation of pictapoems from my portfolio
61 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
Yet another stunning work, Dean. The epic call to arms and the visual and audio display production is awesome. This is a work that gets one's heart pumping.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
  |
Yet another stunning work, Dean. The epic call to arms and the visual and audio display production is awesome. This is a work that gets one's heart pumping.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
-
Thanks very much, Bill. I do appreciate that, my friend...
Comment from Treischel
Your graphics are fabulous. The music clearly adds to the theme. The poetry is truly exquisite. You have captured the feel of the battle cry and the pulse of a warrior whose land is being invades. The colorful poetic imagery pulsates with the essence of the Celtic warrior. I really enjoyed it. It is usually very difficult to pull off iambic hexameter, due to the length of the lines, but you manager it extremely well with punctuation and inline rhyming to keep it moving smoothly. Classical aabb rhyming really added artistic flair. Beautifully, actually. The Pictopoem style really sets it off. This blew me away. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
|
Your graphics are fabulous. The music clearly adds to the theme. The poetry is truly exquisite. You have captured the feel of the battle cry and the pulse of a warrior whose land is being invades. The colorful poetic imagery pulsates with the essence of the Celtic warrior. I really enjoyed it. It is usually very difficult to pull off iambic hexameter, due to the length of the lines, but you manager it extremely well with punctuation and inline rhyming to keep it moving smoothly. Classical aabb rhyming really added artistic flair. Beautifully, actually. The Pictopoem style really sets it off. This blew me away. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
-
Wow, I blew away Mr. 'T'! You made my day, Tom, sincerely. A poet of your caliber saying that to a horror hack like me is akin to the King of England kissing a pig. Me being the pig, of course, LOL...
Thanks again, my friend!
Comment from david bell
I like this style of your work. They are more than just poems. They remind me of folk tales. Have you ever turned one of them into a story?
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
 |
I like this style of your work. They are more than just poems. They remind me of folk tales. Have you ever turned one of them into a story?
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
-
No, David, not yet. Of course, I just got this particular format off the ground a couple of weeks ago, so given time, I'm sure I'll come up with a story or two.
Thanks for your fantastic review!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Dean,
I did enjoy this poem. I couldn't read it with the music playing though. I'm sure some readers can do that, but not me.
It reminded me of Mel Gibson in the 1995 movie "Braveheart", in which he portrayed William Wallace , a 13th-century Scottish warrior who led his brothers in the First War of Scottish Independence against King Edward I of England. The film was nominated for ten Academy Awards, winning five, including Best Picture and Best Director. They smeared their hair and faces too. The North American Indians did this as well, heading into battle. They even painted their horses. I've always been intrigued by this. I imagine many soldiers were so astounded by their faces, that they just looked dumbfounded as they were struck down.
Men have been fighting forever, haven't they? We just can't seem to get along... "wars and rumours of wars"! It will never stop. No wonder aliens keep their distance.
This is a powerful write, full of grit and glory.
The only suggestions I can make have to do with meter to make it read smoother, though most lines are spot on.
"clandestine", for example, has too many syllables.
I suggest,
(Hear, o winds, this sacred call, tis I who summon thee)
"endless surfeits of rotten bodies, against the gods - aligned"
I suggest,
(endless surfeits of rotting dead, against the gods aligned)
"a nightingale, with forlorn wail, serenades us his goodbye"
I suggest,
(a nightingale, with forlorn wail, serenades goodbye)
In the next two lines, you use the same rhyme as the previous verse, "behind/aligned/" and now "behind/maligned",
"Western armies advance, now is our chance, to sabotage - behind;
To send them back, stop their attack - their discourse, much maligned."
I suggest, since we already know the enemy is from the west,
(Armies advance, now is our chance to sabotage their rear.
We'll send them back, stop their attack, today we'll persevere)
"To greet our varied destiny tho' we might take last dying breath"
I suggest,
(To greet our varied destiny might be our final breath)
"Their cavalry forces gallop in, increasing horse's gait"
I suggest,
(Cavalry forces gallop in, increasing horses' gait)
"Mighty metal fuses deftly with bone -valley runs with blood"
I suggest,
(Metal deftly fuses bone - the valley's splashed with blood)
"Hear, o winds, this prayer of faith, for 'tis we who pray to thee,
those faceless whores, these human wraiths, sent back into the sea"
I suggest,
(Hear, o winds, this prayer of faith, our deep and earnest plea,
those faceless whores, these human wraiths, send back into the sea)
"not one man alive, their ilk can match, ours eternally"
Although I don't completely understand the word, "ilk", I will offer this,
(no men alive, their ilk, can match our own eternally)
"Should another pest invade our land, I know we'll all stand tall"
I suggest,
(Should future pests invade our land, I know we'll all stand tall)
I realize you may not agree with my suggestions, but I offer them anyway.
I like the inner rhyme in your verses.
For example,
"From shimmering seas, yon balconies"
"The hour nears, suppress your fears"
"A nightingale, with forlorn wail"
"And hear the cry, before we die"
This poem also reminds me of the determination in Maureen Napier's voice. Now there is a warrior!
Nicely penned! Thanks for sharing.
Have a great day,
cheers
Kimbob
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
|
Hi Dean,
I did enjoy this poem. I couldn't read it with the music playing though. I'm sure some readers can do that, but not me.
It reminded me of Mel Gibson in the 1995 movie "Braveheart", in which he portrayed William Wallace , a 13th-century Scottish warrior who led his brothers in the First War of Scottish Independence against King Edward I of England. The film was nominated for ten Academy Awards, winning five, including Best Picture and Best Director. They smeared their hair and faces too. The North American Indians did this as well, heading into battle. They even painted their horses. I've always been intrigued by this. I imagine many soldiers were so astounded by their faces, that they just looked dumbfounded as they were struck down.
Men have been fighting forever, haven't they? We just can't seem to get along... "wars and rumours of wars"! It will never stop. No wonder aliens keep their distance.
This is a powerful write, full of grit and glory.
The only suggestions I can make have to do with meter to make it read smoother, though most lines are spot on.
"clandestine", for example, has too many syllables.
I suggest,
(Hear, o winds, this sacred call, tis I who summon thee)
"endless surfeits of rotten bodies, against the gods - aligned"
I suggest,
(endless surfeits of rotting dead, against the gods aligned)
"a nightingale, with forlorn wail, serenades us his goodbye"
I suggest,
(a nightingale, with forlorn wail, serenades goodbye)
In the next two lines, you use the same rhyme as the previous verse, "behind/aligned/" and now "behind/maligned",
"Western armies advance, now is our chance, to sabotage - behind;
To send them back, stop their attack - their discourse, much maligned."
I suggest, since we already know the enemy is from the west,
(Armies advance, now is our chance to sabotage their rear.
We'll send them back, stop their attack, today we'll persevere)
"To greet our varied destiny tho' we might take last dying breath"
I suggest,
(To greet our varied destiny might be our final breath)
"Their cavalry forces gallop in, increasing horse's gait"
I suggest,
(Cavalry forces gallop in, increasing horses' gait)
"Mighty metal fuses deftly with bone -valley runs with blood"
I suggest,
(Metal deftly fuses bone - the valley's splashed with blood)
"Hear, o winds, this prayer of faith, for 'tis we who pray to thee,
those faceless whores, these human wraiths, sent back into the sea"
I suggest,
(Hear, o winds, this prayer of faith, our deep and earnest plea,
those faceless whores, these human wraiths, send back into the sea)
"not one man alive, their ilk can match, ours eternally"
Although I don't completely understand the word, "ilk", I will offer this,
(no men alive, their ilk, can match our own eternally)
"Should another pest invade our land, I know we'll all stand tall"
I suggest,
(Should future pests invade our land, I know we'll all stand tall)
I realize you may not agree with my suggestions, but I offer them anyway.
I like the inner rhyme in your verses.
For example,
"From shimmering seas, yon balconies"
"The hour nears, suppress your fears"
"A nightingale, with forlorn wail"
"And hear the cry, before we die"
This poem also reminds me of the determination in Maureen Napier's voice. Now there is a warrior!
Nicely penned! Thanks for sharing.
Have a great day,
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
-
Thanks so much for this wonderful, in depth review of this piece, Kimbob. This review is exceptional, no two-ways about it! I also took many of your very intelligent suggestions and edits to heart, and made some changes, based on your input. I must admit, it does read much better. I didn't include them all (we'll just chalk those up to poetic license and artistic differences), but I did like the majority of them. I also jostled a few of the words around a bit, just as you suggested, as well.
So, to make a very long story short, please accept my humble and heartfelt "Thank you!", with a smile...
Thanks again, my talented friend...
-
You're very welcome, Dean. I'm so glad to help out, even a bit, with such a wonderful poem.
Have a great day!
your fan,
Kimbob
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was like reading something by George R.R. Martin, only about fifteen hundred pages shorter. Very intense and the pageantry was full on. I liked the repeat of the command and the colorful lines to raise the battle cry. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
|
This was like reading something by George R.R. Martin, only about fifteen hundred pages shorter. Very intense and the pageantry was full on. I liked the repeat of the command and the colorful lines to raise the battle cry. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
-
Thank you very much, Gretchen. I really appreciate you saying that. I am extremely glad that it entertained you. Hopefully, there is more entertainment on the way!
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Dean,
Although I've never been into warriors from the past (or present), I truly appreciate the talent and time that went into this poem. 'A rising sea of hate' is exquisite. As always, your presentation is superb!
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
|
Hi Dean,
Although I've never been into warriors from the past (or present), I truly appreciate the talent and time that went into this poem. 'A rising sea of hate' is exquisite. As always, your presentation is superb!
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
-
Thanks very much, Lou. I appreciate you taking the time to read & review this one for me.
Comment from J. Dark
This is just superb, Dean. I love the use of some internal rhyme and the completely classic mythical feel to the piece. It combines to make an incredibly realistic and entertaining read. Very impressive - well done.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :0)
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
|
This is just superb, Dean. I love the use of some internal rhyme and the completely classic mythical feel to the piece. It combines to make an incredibly realistic and entertaining read. Very impressive - well done.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :0)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
-
Thanks, Julie, I sure do appreciate that wonderful comment.
Comment from elchupakabra
Everything is working in this piece Dean. Allow me to bestow my first six star rating of the week to this piece; it is deserved, no question. I love the linework, especially the attention to detail with ye olde time vocab and language. I thought the flow was excellent, and though I don't count it towards rating (this isn't FanArtReview), the imagery in your words is certainly enhanced by these pictapoems you've created. The effort shows in your work, the combination of music, illustration and poetry is woven seamlessly together in this excellent piece. Thanks for sharing Dean, this is I think my favorite of your works so far. It helps that I'm half-Irish on my mother's side too, so I've read about celtic warriors before.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
|
Everything is working in this piece Dean. Allow me to bestow my first six star rating of the week to this piece; it is deserved, no question. I love the linework, especially the attention to detail with ye olde time vocab and language. I thought the flow was excellent, and though I don't count it towards rating (this isn't FanArtReview), the imagery in your words is certainly enhanced by these pictapoems you've created. The effort shows in your work, the combination of music, illustration and poetry is woven seamlessly together in this excellent piece. Thanks for sharing Dean, this is I think my favorite of your works so far. It helps that I'm half-Irish on my mother's side too, so I've read about celtic warriors before.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
-
Thanks very much, elchupalabra! Your enjoyment of this poem, plus being familiar with these tales of ancient battles, in addition to being half Irish, means that I have done my research and these fine warriors of days gone by proud. For that, I am very glad!
Thanks for your insights into this, and your fantastic comments as well....
Comment from Ben Colder
Well done. I know you know this that they were probably one of the first who created an edge toward freighting your opponents by any means. The paint helped, anything hideous looking. We learned it from the Cheyenne and used the after effects with screaming at the top of our voices when making a bayonet charge. Well done poet of Art !
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
|
Well done. I know you know this that they were probably one of the first who created an edge toward freighting your opponents by any means. The paint helped, anything hideous looking. We learned it from the Cheyenne and used the after effects with screaming at the top of our voices when making a bayonet charge. Well done poet of Art !
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
-
Yes, those bayonet charges were a lot of fun to practice, weren't they? Not so much fun when it was for real, though.
Thanks for the wonderful, informative review, Ben...
Comment from gaangel62
Dean, you have out done yourself on this one...I love stories about warriors, kings and maidens and this one is spectacular......Hugs....Angie
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
|
Dean, you have out done yourself on this one...I love stories about warriors, kings and maidens and this one is spectacular......Hugs....Angie
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
-
Thanks very much for thinking so, Angie. What a wonderful comment!
