I Knew It!
Psst! Ever tried to catch a fairy?61 total reviews
Comment from paul O'Brien
Beautiful story. Well told.
"It sure does, Granddad!" --What an Aussie expresion-perhaps --- "It does! It Does!, Granddad"
No author's notes --is that little girl in the picture you?
Nice follow on from your first one.
Will we see a follow on when Jenny finds there is no tooth fairy or will she believe there really is Tooth fairies and angels -just like her Grandad?
Their seems to be some childhood memories here.
Lovely story to read to little girls.
Paul
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
  |
Beautiful story. Well told.
"It sure does, Granddad!" --What an Aussie expresion-perhaps --- "It does! It Does!, Granddad"
No author's notes --is that little girl in the picture you?
Nice follow on from your first one.
Will we see a follow on when Jenny finds there is no tooth fairy or will she believe there really is Tooth fairies and angels -just like her Grandad?
Their seems to be some childhood memories here.
Lovely story to read to little girls.
Paul
Comment Written 28-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
-
aaah there you are ... glad you caught this one, Paul. No, the pic isn't me but yes, there are some childhood memories woven in here. My grandfather actually DID tell me the story about the talcum powder and fairies' footprints - and I did it, AND found one little footprint by the glass and one fern-leaf! So of course I was captivated. He was a mean old devil though, so the rest is fiction! (though my grandmother WAS an angel - to put up with him!)
Big hugs
Sharyn
-
aaah there you are --I've been busy recently--Guess it will get busier over Xmas.
yesterday ,I stumbled over four lines of poetry (a naani perhaps?) Go well with your story.
"All around us, everywhere,
beginnings and endings
are going on all the time
with living in between."
Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
By the way , Mathew Flinders grandson was an interesting chap- (Flinders Petrie)worth a look on the web , if you haven't come across him before.
Today, May you see green fire flies in Maui
Paul
Comment from Alaskastory
'I Knew It!' is a delightful story. You show the close relationship of Henry with his granddaughter in a very warm way. If publication is your plan, many editors would insist the story be shortened. Setting up Janie's age could be shortened to get more rapidly into the tooth and fairies.
I didn't get why Frank had this surprising reaction to the tooth: 'Already. Frank caught his breath.'
He's looking in her mouth and seeing her eyes and cheeks? May want to delete some of this: 'Well, goodness me," he said finally, peering (at her)[into her mouth and pretending to see nothing.]
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
|
'I Knew It!' is a delightful story. You show the close relationship of Henry with his granddaughter in a very warm way. If publication is your plan, many editors would insist the story be shortened. Setting up Janie's age could be shortened to get more rapidly into the tooth and fairies.
I didn't get why Frank had this surprising reaction to the tooth: 'Already. Frank caught his breath.'
He's looking in her mouth and seeing her eyes and cheeks? May want to delete some of this: 'Well, goodness me," he said finally, peering (at her)[into her mouth and pretending to see nothing.]
Comment Written 28-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
-
Sounds like you missed a few clues along the way, my dear - as Frank has an agreement with Nell that he'll stay on earth till Janie loses her first tooth - thus "Already. Frank caught his breath." Janie tells us in the first few sentences exactly how old she is ... but I'll certainly take another peek to see if I need to make it clearer. Thank you so much for your suggestions.
:) Sharyn
Comment from wordsfromsue
Sharyn, what a lovely, magical story. I never had a relationship like that with any of my grandparents. I found myself reading the story wistfully. I think I'll be a Janie type when I'm a grandparent. :-) Full of magic and wonder. I should keep your story to remind me of all sorts of things when my grandma duties begin. :-) And of course fairies are real!
Absolutely lovely writing. :-)
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
 |
Sharyn, what a lovely, magical story. I never had a relationship like that with any of my grandparents. I found myself reading the story wistfully. I think I'll be a Janie type when I'm a grandparent. :-) Full of magic and wonder. I should keep your story to remind me of all sorts of things when my grandma duties begin. :-) And of course fairies are real!
Absolutely lovely writing. :-)
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
-
oh Sue, thank you so much! And of COURSE they're real, my dear! And a specially big "thank you!" for your lovely '6'! Writing stories is pretty new for me - I'm far more at home with scripts and poetry - so it's nice when they hit home, yes?
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from Gungalo
Girl this was as precious as you're ever gonna find. I had all the right elements it and most definitely the faery. One of these days it's gonna be remembered and told to her grand kids. I think you ay have missed your calling and should be writing these all the time.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
|
Girl this was as precious as you're ever gonna find. I had all the right elements it and most definitely the faery. One of these days it's gonna be remembered and told to her grand kids. I think you ay have missed your calling and should be writing these all the time.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
-
Bless you Gungalo! :) Sharyn
-
So smiling at you.
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
I do believe! I do believe! I do believe in tooth fairies! The only problem is I don't think they except caps that fall off! The artwork is precious! So tender! One sentence I think needs attention: "The old man's heart faltered at seeing the doubt in small face." This story makes one young at heart again and is a most enjoyable read!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
|
I do believe! I do believe! I do believe in tooth fairies! The only problem is I don't think they except caps that fall off! The artwork is precious! So tender! One sentence I think needs attention: "The old man's heart faltered at seeing the doubt in small face." This story makes one young at heart again and is a most enjoyable read!
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
-
Bless you MW! So glad you enjoyed it. Do you have a suggestion for replacing that sentence? :))) Sharyn
-
This was such a fun story. Remember "Thumberlina"? Not sure if I spelled that right but I loved that storybook! I would just add the pronoun (The old man's heart faltered at seeing the doubt in "her" small face). MN :)
-
btw--please correct my sentence to you: The only problem is I don't think they "accept" caps that fall off! (I just noticed that error)! ;)
-
I know - I laughed when I saw it dear! :)))
-
oh oh oh - a typo - sorry to be obtuse!!! thx - I'll dash in and correct!! :)))))
-
Ever want to say @*X#! this English language with all the words that sound alike but are spelled differently and have different meanings? ARGHHH!! LOL! MN :)
Comment from fictionwriter
What a wonderful and bewitching story. I loved the way the two interacted, and then all the stories and love shared between old man and little girl. Very well done.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
|
What a wonderful and bewitching story. I loved the way the two interacted, and then all the stories and love shared between old man and little girl. Very well done.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
-
Thank you so much fw! I'm so glad you Janie and Granddad bewitched you - and a special 'thank you' for your lovely, and much, much appreciated, '6'!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from MumEsGirl
Hi Sharyn
this was really cute. I love the innocence of the child that you have portrayed in this work, along with the indignant declaration of being almost seven. Funny how as we age we want to regress.
hugs
kate
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
|
Hi Sharyn
this was really cute. I love the innocence of the child that you have portrayed in this work, along with the indignant declaration of being almost seven. Funny how as we age we want to regress.
hugs
kate
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
-
Hi Kate - thank you so much! yep - I'm DEFINITELY ready to regress! :)
Sharyn
Comment from Tonulak
Dear Sharon,
You not only captured the child's voice, but that of the old man as well, when he muses over his life. A really wonderful story--Ted
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
|
Dear Sharon,
You not only captured the child's voice, but that of the old man as well, when he muses over his life. A really wonderful story--Ted
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
-
hey, thanks Ted! So glad you enjoyed my story, my dear!
:)
Sharyn
Comment from Titanx9
This is a truly engrossing story! I was especially taken with the little girl and her beloved grandfather. The dialogue is authentic, and the action of the child is much like that of any energetic six-year old. I never was into fantasy, but this story might make me re-think my thoughts about them. Sometimes the most amazing things happen, and in reality, they make no sense, but there they are and you have no explanations. The next time that happens to me, I'll think of the fairies. Exceptional read!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
|
This is a truly engrossing story! I was especially taken with the little girl and her beloved grandfather. The dialogue is authentic, and the action of the child is much like that of any energetic six-year old. I never was into fantasy, but this story might make me re-think my thoughts about them. Sometimes the most amazing things happen, and in reality, they make no sense, but there they are and you have no explanations. The next time that happens to me, I'll think of the fairies. Exceptional read!
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
-
Aaah, I'm very happy to have made a fairy convert, my dear! Blessings, and so glad you enjoyed this one!
:) Sharyn
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
SIX is a no no at this time but it is worth it anyway. This is a great story. When you put your poetic devices and your scrip writing skills together, you produce an excellent story.
Very well written. Attention getting and holding. Definite character development and mystery. Congratulations on this great write. Your friend, Bob
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
|
SIX is a no no at this time but it is worth it anyway. This is a great story. When you put your poetic devices and your scrip writing skills together, you produce an excellent story.
Very well written. Attention getting and holding. Definite character development and mystery. Congratulations on this great write. Your friend, Bob
Comment Written 27-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2012
-
oh lovely!!! So glad you enjoyed this one Bob!!!
big hugs from across the ocean!
:) Sharyn
