Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Part 3, Chapter 9"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
72 total reviews
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
This excellent story is unfolding well. I liked that there was a rusty rod sticking out of the park's concrete bench, even in a park that was "well kept up." I doubt that Troy will get tetanus, not if he bled well. I'm looking forward to the chapter with the trial.
I enjoyed this read. Found nothing to criticize in the text but found one nit in the author notes:
"Many child molesters also have adult sexual relationships; they do not {Child molesters} get their sexual gratification only from children." The words in braces seem not to fit and might come out.
Dave
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Barbara,
This excellent story is unfolding well. I liked that there was a rusty rod sticking out of the park's concrete bench, even in a park that was "well kept up." I doubt that Troy will get tetanus, not if he bled well. I'm looking forward to the chapter with the trial.
I enjoyed this read. Found nothing to criticize in the text but found one nit in the author notes:
"Many child molesters also have adult sexual relationships; they do not {Child molesters} get their sexual gratification only from children." The words in braces seem not to fit and might come out.
Dave
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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I copied and pasted this directly from IS there life after abuse, for some reason it's pasted strange this time. I will fix it. Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Piggies Grandma
This is another good chapter Barbara and I enjoyed reading it very much. I hope Anna meeting Troy doesn't affect her court case. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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This is another good chapter Barbara and I enjoyed reading it very much. I hope Anna meeting Troy doesn't affect her court case. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb
Let me tell you right now that knowing Anna is going to meet
Bobby in the court room make me very nervous.
But, one thing that is god she has a lot of caring and supportive friends
Looks like Troy and Anna are starting to understand each other--or am I reading it wrong.
Gert
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Hello Barb
Let me tell you right now that knowing Anna is going to meet
Bobby in the court room make me very nervous.
But, one thing that is god she has a lot of caring and supportive friends
Looks like Troy and Anna are starting to understand each other--or am I reading it wrong.
Gert
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and constant support.
Comment from forestport12
I love your writing style. I can't express how he simplicity of your writing with short sentences and strong verbs grab the reader. Yet in the simplicity of two people sitting on a cement park bench, says so much, that give the reader this stark, hard image. And you knew exactly what to do in that one example. It was a simple sentence but it convey the somber and stark tone. Cement bench, brown paper bag, etc.. We lesser writer's tend to get too fancy, flowery, and then it steals from the pace, the mood, etc...Stan
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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I love your writing style. I can't express how he simplicity of your writing with short sentences and strong verbs grab the reader. Yet in the simplicity of two people sitting on a cement park bench, says so much, that give the reader this stark, hard image. And you knew exactly what to do in that one example. It was a simple sentence but it convey the somber and stark tone. Cement bench, brown paper bag, etc.. We lesser writer's tend to get too fancy, flowery, and then it steals from the pace, the mood, etc...Stan
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and encouragement. I get gigged sometimes for not writing more flowery. I find it boring to read to I don't want to write it.
Comment from RebelRose
I'm glad Troy was finally able to explain. Another great chapter, most appreciated since I know you are busy with your job now and have limited time to write.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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I'm glad Troy was finally able to explain. Another great chapter, most appreciated since I know you are busy with your job now and have limited time to write.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I wish I had more time to write, but I don't so once a week is all I can do.
Comment from sunnilicious
I studied advertising & marketing communications for 3 years in undergrad. And Anna works in Advertising. I may be upset with you, but I want broadcasting, print or beauty advertising. Troy's on a motorcycle. I may not of read all these chapters, but must say... 'This story has taken some dramatic changes.' It seems to be straying from the main story topic. Where ya going with it?
Overall, nice work!
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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I studied advertising & marketing communications for 3 years in undergrad. And Anna works in Advertising. I may be upset with you, but I want broadcasting, print or beauty advertising. Troy's on a motorcycle. I may not of read all these chapters, but must say... 'This story has taken some dramatic changes.' It seems to be straying from the main story topic. Where ya going with it?
Overall, nice work!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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I am not strayed from the topic. The abuse is still there only Bobby is in jail. Her divorce trial is coming up in a few day. Troy has had his motorcycle from the beginning and Anna has worked at the advertising agency since day one. Thank you for the kind review. PS. It is a romance, Anna and Troy need to build a relationship.
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Just double checking. Thanks for the update. Have a great labor day weekend. :)
Comment from dportwood
These chapters have a way of tugging at the reader's heart.
Testifying in court is always a stressful time because decisions are not always favorable.
Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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These chapters have a way of tugging at the reader's heart.
Testifying in court is always a stressful time because decisions are not always favorable.
Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and insight.
Comment from axelbeariter
This offering was spagifically perfect. The only thing I might suggest is to keep the tension about Troy's relationship with the blonde going a bit longer. After his explanation of who the blonde was, Anna jumped at re-upping her relationship with Troy. It doesn't seem realistic to just forgive and forget so smoothly. But, it's okay if you leave it the way it is, if you are satisfied with the quick resolution of what was a life-changing problem for her at one time. Anyway, this was still a great chapter and you set up Anna's next encounter with Bobby perfectly.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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This offering was spagifically perfect. The only thing I might suggest is to keep the tension about Troy's relationship with the blonde going a bit longer. After his explanation of who the blonde was, Anna jumped at re-upping her relationship with Troy. It doesn't seem realistic to just forgive and forget so smoothly. But, it's okay if you leave it the way it is, if you are satisfied with the quick resolution of what was a life-changing problem for her at one time. Anyway, this was still a great chapter and you set up Anna's next encounter with Bobby perfectly.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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I have wondered that too, but I got so many reviews wanting Anna to accept his apology in the grocery store. I may have jealous rear it's ugly head again. Thank you for you concern and review.
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It's great either way, but I just dished up some food for thought. Axel
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I agree. I will ponder it awhile
Comment from AprilShower
Hi, Barbara. I'm glad to read she found out he was not in a relationship with anyone. The story read well.
It looks like something happened when you pasted in facts under the
Authors Notes.
Awkward wording below:
; they do not Child molesters get their sexual gratification only from children.
Suggest:
Child molesters do not get their sexual gratification only from children.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Hi, Barbara. I'm glad to read she found out he was not in a relationship with anyone. The story read well.
It looks like something happened when you pasted in facts under the
Authors Notes.
Awkward wording below:
; they do not Child molesters get their sexual gratification only from children.
Suggest:
Child molesters do not get their sexual gratification only from children.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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I coped and pasted these facts straight from the site. Is There Life After Abuse. Thank you for your kind review.
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You're welcome, Barbara. I wonder why it copies and pastes that way. I copied and pasted some facts about the FBI. It looked strange like that, too. I corrected it right away, though. I know it's hard to do when your time is limited.
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I corrected it.
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Great!
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Great chapter, Barbara. So glad she sorted things out with Troy. She's happier for it. It seems that she is getting stronger and more confident all the time. Great dialogue - you are moving the story along beautifully. Very enjoyable read. Av :)
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Great chapter, Barbara. So glad she sorted things out with Troy. She's happier for it. It seems that she is getting stronger and more confident all the time. Great dialogue - you are moving the story along beautifully. Very enjoyable read. Av :)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
