Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Chapter 11; part 2"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
61 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with your usual lovely technique. i was involved in reading this chapter from beginning to end and found myself surprised at the ending, even though i remember from the chapter they got married that the only way she could get out of her other marriage was to show she wan't a virgin
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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this is very well written with your usual lovely technique. i was involved in reading this chapter from beginning to end and found myself surprised at the ending, even though i remember from the chapter they got married that the only way she could get out of her other marriage was to show she wan't a virgin
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Rama Rao
As usual, this is also an excellent chapter which had me welded. It is so nice I thought I'd use a new expression welded. You see the ships of the old were all riveted. Today they are welded. The process of riveting and rivets are dead as a dodo. It's time the old expression is given a decent burial.
I also liked the way you ended the chapter showing more intrigue.
I'm glad you didn't go overboard with bedroom scenes and get more graphic. Today a few pages of purple prose and abundance of four letter words has become the norm for novels, but I don't buy it.
Wishing you good luck.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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As usual, this is also an excellent chapter which had me welded. It is so nice I thought I'd use a new expression welded. You see the ships of the old were all riveted. Today they are welded. The process of riveting and rivets are dead as a dodo. It's time the old expression is given a decent burial.
I also liked the way you ended the chapter showing more intrigue.
I'm glad you didn't go overboard with bedroom scenes and get more graphic. Today a few pages of purple prose and abundance of four letter words has become the norm for novels, but I don't buy it.
Wishing you good luck.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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I am being requested to write enter the purple prose contest and it's not my style. My previous post was a much as writing a making love scene as I can do and it made me uncomfortable writing it and it was far from purple prose. Thank you for your support and kind words.
Comment from anabelle
Oh! What's going on? Is there something we've missed here? Is she really the mole and not Peggy? That would truly be frustrating for all of us who've been rooting for her all along. Or is this simply to legitimize her marriage to Steven?
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Oh! What's going on? Is there something we've missed here? Is she really the mole and not Peggy? That would truly be frustrating for all of us who've been rooting for her all along. Or is this simply to legitimize her marriage to Steven?
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your review and continued support. Leya is getting herself into big trouble. We will have to see what her motive is.
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Yes, I thought so. For a minute there, I thought I'd missed something. Thanks for the clarification.
Comment from Mariea
Hello Barbara. Another attention getting chapter, developing well as it progresses. Just the one small 'spag' for you to look at.
Para starting 'I'm twenty-two' - keep/kept.
Have a great day. Regards Mia
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Hello Barbara. Another attention getting chapter, developing well as it progresses. Just the one small 'spag' for you to look at.
Para starting 'I'm twenty-two' - keep/kept.
Have a great day. Regards Mia
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Thank you for catching that. I fixed it before finished writing this. I hate making those errors. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Donovan
Very good, reads well, the characters stay in good form. I like the dialogue, seems real in this unreal setting. And..not matter have tough they are, women always want to know about the other women....and documentation I am no longer a virgin.....and the Doctor handed her the telephone book...I am so funny....very well done.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Very good, reads well, the characters stay in good form. I like the dialogue, seems real in this unreal setting. And..not matter have tough they are, women always want to know about the other women....and documentation I am no longer a virgin.....and the Doctor handed her the telephone book...I am so funny....very well done.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them. When are your going to post. I am waiting.
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I just did.....and thank...be tough...
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I am all over it.
Comment from dportwood
barbara.wilkey,
With its mix of dialogue and narrative and the interesting plot of this chapter, I find it most enjoyable and easy to stay connected to the story. Well done.
In this sentence, I think 'intelligent' should be 'intelligence'.
Duane
Ralph handed him an intelligent report.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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barbara.wilkey,
With its mix of dialogue and narrative and the interesting plot of this chapter, I find it most enjoyable and easy to stay connected to the story. Well done.
In this sentence, I think 'intelligent' should be 'intelligence'.
Duane
Ralph handed him an intelligent report.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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You are so right. Thank you for catching that for me. I appreciate your kidn review.
Comment from Heidixoxo
This was a great story to read and spoken with so many feelings and emotions. Their love is strongly felt through your words and the visual was fantastic. Job well done and best of luck to you.......xoxo
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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This was a great story to read and spoken with so many feelings and emotions. Their love is strongly felt through your words and the visual was fantastic. Job well done and best of luck to you.......xoxo
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from FredCollingwood
Great story. What an ending. I can't imagine how weirs that would be. Minor comments:
Steven, (Y)ou're a Task Force 385 team chief and a major in the United States Army > lower case
I have one older brother, who's active duty Marines. > whose
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Great story. What an ending. I can't imagine how weirs that would be. Minor comments:
Steven, (Y)ou're a Task Force 385 team chief and a major in the United States Army > lower case
I have one older brother, who's active duty Marines. > whose
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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I had whose and was told to change it to who's as in who is. Was the reasoning behind it. Now, I don't know....Thank you for your review. I appreciate your support.
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I read it differently the first time. Who's works. Sorry.
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Thank you. I worry what to do when I get conflicting reviews.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I am so delighted that Steven and Leya have finally managed to get together. Tastefully written as well!
It would be nice to think that everything will run smoothly but somehow I think that is most unlikely.
Look forward to reading more.
Juliette
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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I am so delighted that Steven and Leya have finally managed to get together. Tastefully written as well!
It would be nice to think that everything will run smoothly but somehow I think that is most unlikely.
Look forward to reading more.
Juliette
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Leya is getting herself in big trouble. Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from laurelp
Steven kissed her, then lay down. - I think you used the wrong tense. Other than that, a very good chapter although I don't understand why she needs verification. But I'm sure your eventually explain. Keep them coming.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Steven kissed her, then lay down. - I think you used the wrong tense. Other than that, a very good chapter although I don't understand why she needs verification. But I'm sure your eventually explain. Keep them coming.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your review. I had laid there then someone one told me to change it to lay. Who knows?
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Well, I never know for sure, it just didn't sound right. Maybe it should be layed down?
