Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Chapter 7; part 1"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
44 total reviews
Comment from jayhawk67
Sounds like, sexist remark here, a cat fight is brewing. I've missed several chapters so some of the background to the story is a little foggy but it is coming back.
Well drawn characters and the dialogue moves things along. Should it be "(N)either is she"?
Good job. Look forward to the chapters to come.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Sounds like, sexist remark here, a cat fight is brewing. I've missed several chapters so some of the background to the story is a little foggy but it is coming back.
Well drawn characters and the dialogue moves things along. Should it be "(N)either is she"?
Good job. Look forward to the chapters to come.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and I will fix neither.
Comment from ZigzagMLT
I like this piece. It was fun to read. Since I have not read the rest of the chapters, I cannot comment on the whole thing.
I liked your fiery characters. Some of your transitions seemed a bit rushed, but most of them were terrific.
The dialogue was good, believable. The story is very visual.
Thanks for sharing!
Zigzagmlt
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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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I like this piece. It was fun to read. Since I have not read the rest of the chapters, I cannot comment on the whole thing.
I liked your fiery characters. Some of your transitions seemed a bit rushed, but most of them were terrific.
The dialogue was good, believable. The story is very visual.
Thanks for sharing!
Zigzagmlt
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Arkine
Peggy's jealousy is leading her down a very bad path. Nice job on this, just a few nits:
["]Peggy thinks she's in love with me. Now what?" - Not sure where the quotation needed to go so I guessed.
BACKGROUND:
As Steven placed a new wedding ring on Leya's finger, Peggy stormed off to her room. Leya and Steven continue to get closer. - Don't think this section really needs to be there.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Peggy's jealousy is leading her down a very bad path. Nice job on this, just a few nits:
["]Peggy thinks she's in love with me. Now what?" - Not sure where the quotation needed to go so I guessed.
BACKGROUND:
As Steven placed a new wedding ring on Leya's finger, Peggy stormed off to her room. Leya and Steven continue to get closer. - Don't think this section really needs to be there.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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I will take care of th quoation. The reason I put the background information in is because I get so many first time readers and get marked down because they don't know what's going on. This has helped. Thank you for your review.
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Man I hate it when people do that just because they aren't willing to go back and read a little more to get an idea of what's going on in the story. It was just kind of a shock because all of a sudden I wasn't 'in' the story anymore. ;)
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I understand completely, but once I started putting the background statement in it hasn't happened as much. Once in awhile I'll be a 3 or 4 because the reviewer doesn't know what's going on. On my last post I got a 2 because the reviewer thought their wasn't enough action from the drug cartel. I told them, it's a romance, the drug cartel is minor. They wrote back, 'oh.'
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~rolls eyes~ Yeah, I had someone once that told me my writing was wonderful, but they gave it a two because they didn't like horror. Hello? Says at the top, Horror and Thriller.... ~L~ I was sorely tempted to write back 'Here's Your Sign'. ;) Probably should have though I try not to insult people. Don't let it get to you too much. ;)
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I took the bacground out. I didn't realise it had somehow made it's way to the middle of the post. I had it at the top. Oh well.
One newbie, did upset me and a dear friend always read my reviews and replies. After reading this one, he asked, if that newbie still had his eyes or if I scratched them out. I replied, "I was as gentle as I could be under the circumstances." I try to be nice, but sometimes, the review is so far our something needs to be done.
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~L~ A friend recently reminded me of one my favorite sayings:
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons ... for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!" ;)
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Very good advice.
Comment from laurelp
It sounds to me like Peggy is the one he shouldn't trust. I don't put it past her to set them both up. She is more than trouble and he should remover her from his unit. The story is moving along very nicely.
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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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It sounds to me like Peggy is the one he shouldn't trust. I don't put it past her to set them both up. She is more than trouble and he should remover her from his unit. The story is moving along very nicely.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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In my next post, things liven up. Thank you for your kind words.
