The Greater Good
A sonnet57 total reviews
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Jmf4119,
It's a nice piece of poetry in the form of a 'Sonnet' meeting the desired norms and beautifully depicting its theme.
Impressive and matching the theme phraseology.
Smooth and enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme.
Best of Luck!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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Hello Jmf4119,
It's a nice piece of poetry in the form of a 'Sonnet' meeting the desired norms and beautifully depicting its theme.
Impressive and matching the theme phraseology.
Smooth and enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme.
Best of Luck!
Comment Written 01-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
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Thank you for this encouraging review. I greatly appreciate your kind commentsand those special stars.
Blessings
Janet
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Janet, Most Welcome!
~ RP
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, since I am not comfortable with the form - I struggle with writing it for the time being, I will refrain from comment - but, I do "feel" beautiful poetry, and I feel this one is beautiful, in its rhyme and rhythm and smooth movement - best of luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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In my opinion, since I am not comfortable with the form - I struggle with writing it for the time being, I will refrain from comment - but, I do "feel" beautiful poetry, and I feel this one is beautiful, in its rhyme and rhythm and smooth movement - best of luck in the contest...
Comment Written 01-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Blessings
Janet
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You are very welcome, Janet, my pleasure...Eve
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written and beautiful Shakespearean Sonnet you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words and very lovely art work. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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This is a very well written and beautiful Shakespearean Sonnet you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words and very lovely art work. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Teri for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from lyenochka
Beautiful images in your sonnet! I like all your descriptions of the night sky such as "Their world stood still but time just seemed to fly and blur the Milky Way to antique lace."
What a great message summarized in the ending couplet that all our trials fall into perspective when we look UP!
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Beautiful images in your sonnet! I like all your descriptions of the night sky such as "Their world stood still but time just seemed to fly and blur the Milky Way to antique lace."
What a great message summarized in the ending couplet that all our trials fall into perspective when we look UP!
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from krys123
Cheers, JMF4 119;
-I enjoyed reading your sign and found it very entertaining, JMF, And I enjoyed your hypothesis or your philosophical commentary And your conceptual theme of relating the massive Galactic universe and how life at times may be misconceived
until time and space reveals the greater good."
-Your imagery is demonstratively definitive and vividly expressive throughout with beautiful and enlightened imagery.
-Sugar rhyming words were contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the enjambment reads smoothly. This in turn helps understanding and conceptual theme just as well.
-I enjoyed your philosophy and thought it was really interesting your viewpoint on life. But I wonder how life is so relatively integrated with celestial events. I guess it's a part of our life is so distant and unrelated to our everyday living. I just question the use of explaining life only in terms of celestial and cosmic explosions and then blissful contentment of planets and other entities.
-I found a few issues that are easily repairable:
--"aBOVE the COUple LOCKed in (AN) emBRACE" (This is an article used as major
stressed syllable)(I suggest
"love's embrace".
--"and BLUR the MILky WAY to anTIQUE LACE" (The word antique is stressed on
the second syllable)
--'til(TILL) time and space reveal their greater good." (Improper word possibly use
"till".
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one and as soon as the repairs are made all re-evaluate the rating.
-Take care and have a good one especially with all those that love you.
-Good luck in the contest.
Alex
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Cheers, JMF4 119;
-I enjoyed reading your sign and found it very entertaining, JMF, And I enjoyed your hypothesis or your philosophical commentary And your conceptual theme of relating the massive Galactic universe and how life at times may be misconceived
until time and space reveals the greater good."
-Your imagery is demonstratively definitive and vividly expressive throughout with beautiful and enlightened imagery.
-Sugar rhyming words were contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the enjambment reads smoothly. This in turn helps understanding and conceptual theme just as well.
-I enjoyed your philosophy and thought it was really interesting your viewpoint on life. But I wonder how life is so relatively integrated with celestial events. I guess it's a part of our life is so distant and unrelated to our everyday living. I just question the use of explaining life only in terms of celestial and cosmic explosions and then blissful contentment of planets and other entities.
-I found a few issues that are easily repairable:
--"aBOVE the COUple LOCKed in (AN) emBRACE" (This is an article used as major
stressed syllable)(I suggest
"love's embrace".
--"and BLUR the MILky WAY to anTIQUE LACE" (The word antique is stressed on
the second syllable)
--'til(TILL) time and space reveal their greater good." (Improper word possibly use
"till".
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one and as soon as the repairs are made all re-evaluate the rating.
-Take care and have a good one especially with all those that love you.
-Good luck in the contest.
Alex
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Alex for this thoughtful and through review. I greatly appreciate your suggestions and two of the issues were easily repairable. However, I sturggled with "antique" and while I agree with your comments,I couldn't find a word or phrase to replace it. I have tried not to "love" a word or phrase so much that I was unwilling to change it but I couldn't find a replacement for this one.
Your kind encouragement will keep me working to be a better writer.
Blessings
Janet
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You could use the word ancient as the stress syllables on the first syllable. Let me tell you a website that I use that gives over hundred rhyming words to each word. It is called ~punctuation guide.com~
It's very helpful and that's where I found the word ancient.
Take care and have a good one and you are welcome.
Alex
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Thanks Alex. I will check out that website. I like ?ancient? as an alternative. Everything I checked was like antique as far as the stressed syllable. I really appreciate your help.
Have a great weekend.
Janet
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You're very welcome, Janet, And I found that website to be Impeccably useful.
Alex
Comment from kahpot
A beautiful poem of love and lust, yet letting us know all good things take time and hard work to accomplish, this is an excellent poem and read, very well done and good luck in your competition****kahpot
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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A beautiful poem of love and lust, yet letting us know all good things take time and hard work to accomplish, this is an excellent poem and read, very well done and good luck in your competition****kahpot
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from aanneee
What a lovely presentation this is. The artwork, the color scheme and your words. I so enjoyed reading this one and wish you luck in the Write a Shakespearean Sonnet contest. Thank you for the read...Dinah
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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What a lovely presentation this is. The artwork, the color scheme and your words. I so enjoyed reading this one and wish you luck in the Write a Shakespearean Sonnet contest. Thank you for the read...Dinah
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Dinah for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 'Write a Shakespearean Sonnet' writing prompt.
Your verse fits the style and is well rhymed.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 'Write a Shakespearean Sonnet' writing prompt.
Your verse fits the style and is well rhymed.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Sharon for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from zanya
This is simply a joy to read and reflect upon - some timely wisdom at its stately sonnet heart - exquisite imagery 'blur the Milky Way to antique lace'- sadly I do not have a 6 left !!
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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This is simply a joy to read and reflect upon - some timely wisdom at its stately sonnet heart - exquisite imagery 'blur the Milky Way to antique lace'- sadly I do not have a 6 left !!
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. Just the thought that this was worth a sixth star makes my day.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from karenina
Nice sonnet! I can see Will the Bard smiling from here... Loved your word choices and rhymes...and your envoi wrapped it all up in a Shakespearean bow! Seems everyone thinks they know how to write this form...and about half are correct.
Yours is super.
Karenina
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Nice sonnet! I can see Will the Bard smiling from here... Loved your word choices and rhymes...and your envoi wrapped it all up in a Shakespearean bow! Seems everyone thinks they know how to write this form...and about half are correct.
Yours is super.
Karenina
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2018
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Thank you Karenina for your very special review.
Blessings
Janet
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Thanks for such a nice sonnet!
