Your Arms
a ghazal62 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for educating me about this form of poetry. I always appreciate it. Once again your poem inspired me to want to read more. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Thank you for educating me about this form of poetry. I always appreciate it. Once again your poem inspired me to want to read more. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Oh, yes, Barbara, read more. Today I picked up a copy of Aghad Shahid Ali's "Call Me Ismael Tonight: a Book of Ghazals" and his edited anthology "Ravishing DisUnites: Real Ghazals in English." I will learn more and write more. Thank you for your review.
Comment from MSJVClarke
This is truly a love poem from the heart. I can feel the strength of your love for your partner and the depth of your commitment to know and embrace every part of her. I also know the feeling you express of still feeling the touch of your loved one and the pain of wondering if they kept any part of you in their heart. A great love poem!
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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This is truly a love poem from the heart. I can feel the strength of your love for your partner and the depth of your commitment to know and embrace every part of her. I also know the feeling you express of still feeling the touch of your loved one and the pain of wondering if they kept any part of you in their heart. A great love poem!
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, MSJVClarke, for your kind, sympathetic review of this brokenhearted love poem. I appreciate your compliments.
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You are very welcome!
I truly enjoyed the read.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a lovely poem. Well written and although I'm not familiar with the form you used, it makes for a nice read.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece with us.
Sharon
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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This is a lovely poem. Well written and although I'm not familiar with the form you used, it makes for a nice read.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece with us.
Sharon
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Sharon, for your generous review. I just picked up two books of English ghazals today so I could learn more about this ancient form of Arabic poetry. Thank you for reading my wonderful piece.
Comment from ameen786
Hello Sis, my friend, hats off to you for composing such a masterpiece! Each couplet reflects your passion in this style of the Ghazal; you certainly captured the essence of Ghazal in this outstanging verse.
P.S: Both Faiz and Ahmad Faraz were atheists and sort of communistic in their wonderful poetry, check out Faiz's "Mujh se pehli si mohabbat mere mehboob na maang," and Faraz's "Ranjish he sahi, dil hi dukhane ke liye aa."
Thanks for the treat.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Hello Sis, my friend, hats off to you for composing such a masterpiece! Each couplet reflects your passion in this style of the Ghazal; you certainly captured the essence of Ghazal in this outstanging verse.
P.S: Both Faiz and Ahmad Faraz were atheists and sort of communistic in their wonderful poetry, check out Faiz's "Mujh se pehli si mohabbat mere mehboob na maang," and Faraz's "Ranjish he sahi, dil hi dukhane ke liye aa."
Thanks for the treat.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you not only for your glorious six star review, but for encouraging me to explore ghazals further. I enjoy listening to ghazals in their original language and studying the text so Ivan grasp the message, structure, and rhythm. There is so much to learn. Thank you for your support.
Comment from Oliveforlove
Poignant and deeply moving - so full of the little things we don't appreciate until it is lost to us. I agree with the reviewer that suggested the repetition of 'your arms' to be too overpowering - it was as if the most important thing in the poem was the actual arms not the symbolism, I had to keep working hard to stay with the imagery rather than the actual words. I enjoyed it none the less and can see how a verbal representation would adjust the couplets to change the emphasis.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Poignant and deeply moving - so full of the little things we don't appreciate until it is lost to us. I agree with the reviewer that suggested the repetition of 'your arms' to be too overpowering - it was as if the most important thing in the poem was the actual arms not the symbolism, I had to keep working hard to stay with the imagery rather than the actual words. I enjoyed it none the less and can see how a verbal representation would adjust the couplets to change the emphasis.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you for your observations. Yes, some may find ghazals? repetitions of the same word boring and overbearing, but I fixed this problem with my next ghazal by following another rule that I neglected here. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Hitcher
It is an interesting form and I would think quite difficult to write. The repeating of arms in every couplet was... too much for me, it seamed to overpower the rest of the poem which I actually did enjoy. It is strange, the things we miss of a lover once they have moved on to another. Good on ya for trying new forms out though Andre, they do in their own way help us improve our craft.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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It is an interesting form and I would think quite difficult to write. The repeating of arms in every couplet was... too much for me, it seamed to overpower the rest of the poem which I actually did enjoy. It is strange, the things we miss of a lover once they have moved on to another. Good on ya for trying new forms out though Andre, they do in their own way help us improve our craft.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Oh, yes, Hitcher, the repetition of ?your arms? can be overpowering, which is why I fixed this problem in my next ghazal by following a rule I neglected in this ghazal. Yes, it?s great to try new firms. Thank you for your review.
Comment from His Grayness
Very rare and deeply interesting, with sincere thanks for a wonderful gift of new enlightenment and joy! HIS GRAYNESS Vance
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Very rare and deeply interesting, with sincere thanks for a wonderful gift of new enlightenment and joy! HIS GRAYNESS Vance
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Yes, His Grayness, very rare. Even though people have been writing ghazals for thousands of years, this form only became popular in the English language in the mid-1990s. I do not recall reading one on FanStory, although several reviewers said they have tried it. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Andre, a well written ghazal. Reading your author notes it makes me understand the repetition throughout - the countries you mention Persia, etc tend to write like that, repeating and repeating, chant-like. I like the descriptive line 'my finger worried cicatrices on your arms.' Also the mention of the anaconda - very good. A good read of a well written ghazal. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Hi Andre, a well written ghazal. Reading your author notes it makes me understand the repetition throughout - the countries you mention Persia, etc tend to write like that, repeating and repeating, chant-like. I like the descriptive line 'my finger worried cicatrices on your arms.' Also the mention of the anaconda - very good. A good read of a well written ghazal. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Dorothy, for your review. It was only when I listened to ghazals in their original language of Urdu and Pashto did I understand the musical, chant-like quality of the poem. Since it is an oral form of poetry, I will read mine at open mics. Thanks.
Comment from Reese Turner
Certainly touching and then painful, so I would say your poem does what a poem is supposed to do. I share with you a saying that has helped me at times: "Never let the sorrow of good-bye diminish the joy of your time together." Merry Christmas and God Bless
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Certainly touching and then painful, so I would say your poem does what a poem is supposed to do. I share with you a saying that has helped me at times: "Never let the sorrow of good-bye diminish the joy of your time together." Merry Christmas and God Bless
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Reese, for your review and your saying. Merry Christmas and God Bless you, too.
Comment from krys123
Happy holidays, Andre';
-I really like this style of poetry but I really wish I could've heard it being read. I think it's one of those poems that need a vocal introduction and reading to be able to feel the actual personal emotions that are lacking in just reading the poem. An author's touch, is what it needs. An author's voice is what it has to have.
-It's amazing how repetitive it seems that the second line of each couplet would be however I found it very interesting that it was not repetitive but very informative and just a amendment to the conceptual theme.
-Thanks for sharing this and take care and have a good one Andre.
Alex
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Happy holidays, Andre';
-I really like this style of poetry but I really wish I could've heard it being read. I think it's one of those poems that need a vocal introduction and reading to be able to feel the actual personal emotions that are lacking in just reading the poem. An author's touch, is what it needs. An author's voice is what it has to have.
-It's amazing how repetitive it seems that the second line of each couplet would be however I found it very interesting that it was not repetitive but very informative and just a amendment to the conceptual theme.
-Thanks for sharing this and take care and have a good one Andre.
Alex
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Alex for your generous, six star review. I studied recitations and singing of ghazals in their original language in order to capture their musical rhythm when I wrote mine. Ghazals are an oral form of poetry. Dip also suggested that I read these. I am taking them to an open mic soon. Thank you for your encouragement.
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I figured they would be better off listen to then to read by oneself. If you've already made your debut that I hope it went very well. Take care and have a good one.
Alex
