Pen Versus The Sword
Sadly, that is the way it is.49 total reviews
Comment from bob cullen
Absolutely love the message delivered. It is so true.
Your rhyme and meter is just great.
The events you have mentioned are all deeply imprinted on our brains and they add to the strength of this poem. Truly deserving of six stars
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Absolutely love the message delivered. It is so true.
Your rhyme and meter is just great.
The events you have mentioned are all deeply imprinted on our brains and they add to the strength of this poem. Truly deserving of six stars
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Thank you for that great review and that 6.You bring me added inspiration
Comment from Nika2016
Actually..the response to 9/11 was an illegal response under UN original rules and we initiated the UN. It was illegal because one may only act in immediate defense and must stop hostilities once the immediate threat has ended. War should be a last resort ....The people of Afghanistan did not attack us...
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Actually..the response to 9/11 was an illegal response under UN original rules and we initiated the UN. It was illegal because one may only act in immediate defense and must stop hostilities once the immediate threat has ended. War should be a last resort ....The people of Afghanistan did not attack us...
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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I appreciate your great review and I must agree with you. Thank you for stopping by
Comment from Irish Rain
Only when men learn to accept each other, will that ever change. We judge, they're wrong, we're wrong, changes are necessary, someone needs to die. Got to get out of that judging thing...but....I don't see that with evil in the world. So...I'll keep my gun, ha ha. My pen's not gonna do much good in a showdown. LOVE this....great message. blessings...
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Only when men learn to accept each other, will that ever change. We judge, they're wrong, we're wrong, changes are necessary, someone needs to die. Got to get out of that judging thing...but....I don't see that with evil in the world. So...I'll keep my gun, ha ha. My pen's not gonna do much good in a showdown. LOVE this....great message. blessings...
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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You always inspire me and I greatly appreciate you
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That is so sweet! Thank you!!!
Comment from royowen
There are as many reasons for war it seems than wars themselves, but I'm certain it's not the reasons that evoke war, but war and conflict in people's souls. But well done, beautifully written poem in elegantly flowing language, that addresses the frustration of the author to curb the violence that comes,. History tells us it hasn't altered much in thousands of years, in general 8686 syllable with abcb rhyming, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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There are as many reasons for war it seems than wars themselves, but I'm certain it's not the reasons that evoke war, but war and conflict in people's souls. But well done, beautifully written poem in elegantly flowing language, that addresses the frustration of the author to curb the violence that comes,. History tells us it hasn't altered much in thousands of years, in general 8686 syllable with abcb rhyming, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Any comment from you lifts my spirit and makes me wish to contnue-thank you
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Most welcome
Comment from EricBrady
Wonderful poem and powerful. This turned into a tribute of past battles and wars that made our wonderful country. I was not expecting that. The pen is the beginning of the killing though. I had never thought about that. Creative and great flow and rhyme with the quatrains. The only negative is a typo in the first line. "Then" should be than. Great work! Best wishes.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Wonderful poem and powerful. This turned into a tribute of past battles and wars that made our wonderful country. I was not expecting that. The pen is the beginning of the killing though. I had never thought about that. Creative and great flow and rhyme with the quatrains. The only negative is a typo in the first line. "Then" should be than. Great work! Best wishes.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Thank you for your encouraging remarks. At 91 years of age I need all the help I can get-was deeply appreciated
Comment from Pantygynt
A clever poem this that denies the truth of the old adage that the pen is mightier than the sword. That intention is set out in the first stanza and exemplified in the subsequent stanzas.
The rhythmic structure is based on three tetrametric lines, iambic - trochaic - iambic, concluding with an iambic trimetric line. This meter is maintained in all but the fourth stanza. I have no quarrel with the trochaic substitution in the first line of this stanza, as this emphasizes the "I" (that these are the poet's own remembrances as opposed to the questions asked of "you" in the earlier stanzas). Nor am I concerned with the use of near as opposed to full rhyme in the final line of that stanza, but the break from the established trimeter by the addition of an extra syllable, for broke the flow of the poem for no real reason.
I would suggest that the removal of the first definite artcle would not detract from the meaning. The line, restored to established trimeter, would then read "by sword, or by the gun".
I can't help feeling that the sense of the final stanza would be heightened by reversal of the key lines and the substitution of "but" for "the" to read:
"The pen may spark the urge to change,
for the good, or for the bad.
But swords create the changes made,
'tis true, so true, but sad."
After all, it is the sword bit to which the final line applies, so increased proximity of those two lines can only help, but it's your poem.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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A clever poem this that denies the truth of the old adage that the pen is mightier than the sword. That intention is set out in the first stanza and exemplified in the subsequent stanzas.
The rhythmic structure is based on three tetrametric lines, iambic - trochaic - iambic, concluding with an iambic trimetric line. This meter is maintained in all but the fourth stanza. I have no quarrel with the trochaic substitution in the first line of this stanza, as this emphasizes the "I" (that these are the poet's own remembrances as opposed to the questions asked of "you" in the earlier stanzas). Nor am I concerned with the use of near as opposed to full rhyme in the final line of that stanza, but the break from the established trimeter by the addition of an extra syllable, for broke the flow of the poem for no real reason.
I would suggest that the removal of the first definite artcle would not detract from the meaning. The line, restored to established trimeter, would then read "by sword, or by the gun".
I can't help feeling that the sense of the final stanza would be heightened by reversal of the key lines and the substitution of "but" for "the" to read:
"The pen may spark the urge to change,
for the good, or for the bad.
But swords create the changes made,
'tis true, so true, but sad."
After all, it is the sword bit to which the final line applies, so increased proximity of those two lines can only help, but it's your poem.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Thank you for such a thorough comment. You are most surely right.You give me encouragment and I do appreciate it
Comment from William Ross
Nice, great rhyme and rhythm has great meter and flows well, The pen is mightier than the sword, All peace comes from talk not guns, all wars end in treaties not by blood shed. Thanks for the share and have a good day.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Nice, great rhyme and rhythm has great meter and flows well, The pen is mightier than the sword, All peace comes from talk not guns, all wars end in treaties not by blood shed. Thanks for the share and have a good day.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Thank you Bill. Great to hear from you again.I always appreciate your comments
Comment from RoostyNester
I loved your poem. I believe that both the sword and the pen serve well when the threat of war. The pen can bring about solutions, but the sword, brings the results. Very well done in verse and style.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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I loved your poem. I believe that both the sword and the pen serve well when the threat of war. The pen can bring about solutions, but the sword, brings the results. Very well done in verse and style.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Roosty-you always inspire me and I greatly appreciate you
Comment from sandy montgomery
Great job here. I think your piece had truth, emotional punch, and great rhythm. Very well done. An excellent use of a familiar adage. Really good job.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Great job here. I think your piece had truth, emotional punch, and great rhythm. Very well done. An excellent use of a familiar adage. Really good job.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Thank you for your encouraging remarks-deeply appreciated
Comment from nancyjam
A well crafted poem with a strong
message. It seems the "sword" has done
more damage than words lately.
Words can hurt though, if not tempered with kindness.
Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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A well crafted poem with a strong
message. It seems the "sword" has done
more damage than words lately.
Words can hurt though, if not tempered with kindness.
Nancy
Comment Written 14-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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You give me added inspiration-thank you
