Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Prologue "Introduction"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
36 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Quite an interesting piece.
Full of different ways to head with this.
Didn't find any mistakes but did find it interesting.
I read the other chapter first so had to catch up
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
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Quite an interesting piece.
Full of different ways to head with this.
Didn't find any mistakes but did find it interesting.
I read the other chapter first so had to catch up
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from judiverse
Interesting story. Cody's behavior when Matt beat him to the house was unexpected. Seems like Matt had been trying to be nice to him at school, and now Cody is quick to lash out. Some kids are like that. It is the guardian who takes care of disciplining Cody. Maybe that's Cody's problem--having the guardian look after him. This portion didn't cover the whole story of Cody, but having a guardian probably isn't something that a boy would like very much. Great work. judi
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
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Interesting story. Cody's behavior when Matt beat him to the house was unexpected. Seems like Matt had been trying to be nice to him at school, and now Cody is quick to lash out. Some kids are like that. It is the guardian who takes care of disciplining Cody. Maybe that's Cody's problem--having the guardian look after him. This portion didn't cover the whole story of Cody, but having a guardian probably isn't something that a boy would like very much. Great work. judi
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
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Stay tuned for the rest of the story. Glad you enjoyed this portion.
Comment from misscookie
I love the artwork you choose for your poem
It is a perfect match.
I enjoyed your write from the first line to the last.
this is what I call a food for thought story meaning .... after you read it you go mm.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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I love the artwork you choose for your poem
It is a perfect match.
I enjoyed your write from the first line to the last.
this is what I call a food for thought story meaning .... after you read it you go mm.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this miss cookie. Your comments and support appreciated.
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My pleasure.
Cookie
Comment from Kooky Clown
A great read it started off like the bike race slowly building to the finish can't wait to hear more. I well remember my childhood and falling out with best friends over silly things I am sure things will be okay I look forward to finding out.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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A great read it started off like the bike race slowly building to the finish can't wait to hear more. I well remember my childhood and falling out with best friends over silly things I am sure things will be okay I look forward to finding out.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this part of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from William Ross
An interesting little tale so far, two boys fighting over something stupid father sand guardians punishing the boys, good write, see where this heads.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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An interesting little tale so far, two boys fighting over something stupid father sand guardians punishing the boys, good write, see where this heads.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this part of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from mfowler
There's enough clues in this story to say that Cody's background is to become a major feature in the story going forward. This is really well written, Brett, with excellent background information, exciting action sequences, and good dialogue driving the narrative forward. I also thought it was pretty accurate in its description of how boys interact and how losing can lead to conflict. There's a good moral tale going on with the father's reaction to the fight, but I suspect that's mere background noise compared to what's going to happen between these two in future. Good story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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There's enough clues in this story to say that Cody's background is to become a major feature in the story going forward. This is really well written, Brett, with excellent background information, exciting action sequences, and good dialogue driving the narrative forward. I also thought it was pretty accurate in its description of how boys interact and how losing can lead to conflict. There's a good moral tale going on with the father's reaction to the fight, but I suspect that's mere background noise compared to what's going to happen between these two in future. Good story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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"background noise". Really like that description. Had not thought of the scene in that light, but it was spot on. Glad you enjoyed this part of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
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Many thanks for the vote nomination. Really pleased you were able to get something from the review.
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I did. Keep it up.
