Windows To The Past
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Jubilee"Poems about the old West.
36 total reviews
Comment from Connie C
Hi Nancy,
I'm just peeking into FanStory upon my return from New York and found this nifty little story about Jubilee's hanging tree. Your poem, like always, has such great meter which helps to make the story flow so smoothly. I know you don't mind me pointing out any punctuation errors, and I do find a few here: there should be no apostrophe in line two with "it's" and in line 11 with "sport's." I'm not sure, but I think "they'ed" in line four should be "they'd." Those are tiny errors and not enough to keep me from awarding this a sixer for your excellent rhyme, meter, and story-telling.
My best to you, my friend.
Connie
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Hi Nancy,
I'm just peeking into FanStory upon my return from New York and found this nifty little story about Jubilee's hanging tree. Your poem, like always, has such great meter which helps to make the story flow so smoothly. I know you don't mind me pointing out any punctuation errors, and I do find a few here: there should be no apostrophe in line two with "it's" and in line 11 with "sport's." I'm not sure, but I think "they'ed" in line four should be "they'd." Those are tiny errors and not enough to keep me from awarding this a sixer for your excellent rhyme, meter, and story-telling.
My best to you, my friend.
Connie
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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You are so sweet to edit and still grant the ppoem a six Connie. I see the error of my ways and I will hup-two and fix it stat. LOL Hugs. Nancy
Comment from robyn corum
1.) they thought if they cut down the tree that they' ed be free at last.
--> perhaps:
they thought if they cut the tree down then (they'ed) be free at last.
2.) A vote was taken, they agreed to keep the tree around.
--> this line comes at you pretty bumpy when the others have been quite melodic -- perhaps something like:
--> A vote was (made and) they agreed to keep the tree around.
3.) It (sports) a brand new neck tie on each anniversary,
Very nice! Even if it's fiction - it SOUNDS true! At least for here in the South! Enjoyed!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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1.) they thought if they cut down the tree that they' ed be free at last.
--> perhaps:
they thought if they cut the tree down then (they'ed) be free at last.
2.) A vote was taken, they agreed to keep the tree around.
--> this line comes at you pretty bumpy when the others have been quite melodic -- perhaps something like:
--> A vote was (made and) they agreed to keep the tree around.
3.) It (sports) a brand new neck tie on each anniversary,
Very nice! Even if it's fiction - it SOUNDS true! At least for here in the South! Enjoyed!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Thanks Robin. Your first suggestion seems out of scansion to me but I did struggle with the secondone and I like your suggestion there. I appreciate the help. Thanks and have a nice evening. Nancy
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Sorry It kicked me off again. The first suggestion feels out of scansion to me but the next one is better and I will use it. Thanks for the help and have a nice evening. Nancy
Comment from Tessa Kay
Very nice story, showing that often it is better to remember than to forget.
The sheriff was a wise man. Thanks for sharing this lovely story in a poem. :)
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Very nice story, showing that often it is better to remember than to forget.
The sheriff was a wise man. Thanks for sharing this lovely story in a poem. :)
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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I am very pleased that you like the poem Tessa Kay. Thanks for the review and stars. Nancy
Comment from royowen
A wonderfully written poem Nancy that marks the days, when they despatched many a thief, murderer, crook, and simply hung them up! Beautifully modulated poem, that tells of those days, whether fictional or reality I'm not sure, great wording, the language is well suited to the narrative and it's a beauty, well done Nancy in even meter, and aabb rhyming, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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A wonderfully written poem Nancy that marks the days, when they despatched many a thief, murderer, crook, and simply hung them up! Beautifully modulated poem, that tells of those days, whether fictional or reality I'm not sure, great wording, the language is well suited to the narrative and it's a beauty, well done Nancy in even meter, and aabb rhyming, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Hi Roy. I guess that's what it took to get a bit of peace back in the wild west. That is an actual hanging tree in Kyle Texas in the picture, Seems they kept it after all. LOL Thanks for the review. Nancy
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Most welcome Nancy
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
WOW! I am sure there is some truth in this and I found the poem amazing. He was right, living reminders of what we can do to be better are important. Lovely and truly an inspirational read. Thank you very much for sharing it.
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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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WOW! I am sure there is some truth in this and I found the poem amazing. He was right, living reminders of what we can do to be better are important. Lovely and truly an inspirational read. Thank you very much for sharing it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Thank you for the review and stars Monica. Have a nice day.
Nancy
Comment from c_lucas
There are legends all over the United States about ghosts (victims of such parties. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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There are legends all over the United States about ghosts (victims of such parties. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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I should have put in my notes that is the picture of a real hanging tree in Kyle Texas. Thanks for the review Charlie. Nancy
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There is Western Folklore of a sheriff who was tired of looking for a tree big enough for a hanging tree and shot his prisoner.
