That Step
Sonnet - Faith Contest Entry74 total reviews
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
"But lo, the slender thread of faith shines bright
entwined with love and patience, trust and hope.
A thousand craftsmen toiling through the night
could never manufacture such a rope."
This turn is stunning! It actually sent shivers up and down my spine as it speaks to beautifully of God's unyielding lifeline which is always available to us. This meets and exceed the contest requirements and will certainly be a top contender. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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"But lo, the slender thread of faith shines bright
entwined with love and patience, trust and hope.
A thousand craftsmen toiling through the night
could never manufacture such a rope."
This turn is stunning! It actually sent shivers up and down my spine as it speaks to beautifully of God's unyielding lifeline which is always available to us. This meets and exceed the contest requirements and will certainly be a top contender. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much for the splendid review. Any poet is thrilled to evoke an emotional response such as yours, so that is the perfect compliment. I have had five or six podium finishes in site contests this year without ever making it to the top step - let's see how this one does...
Steve
Comment from K@t
That first step is the scariest. I can personally relate to this, taking steps in new directions across a thin line, it's like life today!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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That first step is the scariest. I can personally relate to this, taking steps in new directions across a thin line, it's like life today!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thanks for revieing and finding relevance in my poem.
Steve
Comment from livelylinda
kiwisteveh: dash "The Bridegroom Waits"! You have written it perfectly with excellent metaphor. This is original, creative and a strong sonnet. Should be a good contender in this contest. livelylinda
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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kiwisteveh: dash "The Bridegroom Waits"! You have written it perfectly with excellent metaphor. This is original, creative and a strong sonnet. Should be a good contender in this contest. livelylinda
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Linda!
Steve
Comment from Janet Foor
A lovely sonnet for the faith Poetry contest. I too liked your very fitting alternate title. Great imagery, good rhyme and internal rhyme and good use of alliteration. Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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A lovely sonnet for the faith Poetry contest. I too liked your very fitting alternate title. Great imagery, good rhyme and internal rhyme and good use of alliteration. Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Janet!
Steve
Comment from TomyKan
Beautiful imagery, both in the photo and many lines, i.e. "the screeching gulls of doubt assail my ears." Good rhythm, rhyme and flow. Faith overcomes all. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Beautiful imagery, both in the photo and many lines, i.e. "the screeching gulls of doubt assail my ears." Good rhythm, rhyme and flow. Faith overcomes all. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Nosha17
If we waver when important decisions have to be taken, we should always have hope and maintain our faith. Excellent imagery and rhyming, with good spiritual message. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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If we waver when important decisions have to be taken, we should always have hope and maintain our faith. Excellent imagery and rhyming, with good spiritual message. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Faye.
Steve
Comment from Pantygynt
THis is a remarkable sonnet not so much for its structure of perfect iambic pentameters, with alternate rhyme, nor even because of its progression through the stanzas. The first of these deals points up the courage required, the second with the difficulties of maintaining that courage when:
"...flocking, mocking, hard on either hand,
the screeching gulls of doubt assail my ears."
That is a great piece of imagery.
In S3 the volta looks at the the way out of the predicament, the rope:
"the slender thread of faith shines bright
entwined with love and patience, trust and hope."
And the couplet shows us the nature of the this rope. It is love, it is the love a very special undefined "you".
The reader is left to answer the question: Is this a very abnormally constructed love sonnet to a very special person, or is the you here, only capable of this " love so pure" because it is tied in with regious faith?
True the love of a good woman or man can be inspirational but since this is entered in the Faith poetry contest. I suppose we have to settle for the religious element.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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THis is a remarkable sonnet not so much for its structure of perfect iambic pentameters, with alternate rhyme, nor even because of its progression through the stanzas. The first of these deals points up the courage required, the second with the difficulties of maintaining that courage when:
"...flocking, mocking, hard on either hand,
the screeching gulls of doubt assail my ears."
That is a great piece of imagery.
In S3 the volta looks at the the way out of the predicament, the rope:
"the slender thread of faith shines bright
entwined with love and patience, trust and hope."
And the couplet shows us the nature of the this rope. It is love, it is the love a very special undefined "you".
The reader is left to answer the question: Is this a very abnormally constructed love sonnet to a very special person, or is the you here, only capable of this " love so pure" because it is tied in with regious faith?
True the love of a good woman or man can be inspirational but since this is entered in the Faith poetry contest. I suppose we have to settle for the religious element.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you for the thoughtful and detailed response to my sonnet.
To (sort of) answer the question that is raised, the contest instructions were very clear that 'faith' could be of any kind. I, myself, have no religious belief, but I am aware that many on FanStory do (including the contest judges, no doubt) so I have deliberately left this open-ended - a bob each way, you might say.
Thanks again for the great review.
Steve
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I often think that the only people who can comment rationally on matters of faith are those who are not blinded by their own!
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Faith is all we need to get us through the difficulties of life. Without it then the tightrope becomes the end of all our endeavours.
Good exposition of the strength of faith.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Faith is all we need to get us through the difficulties of life. Without it then the tightrope becomes the end of all our endeavours.
Good exposition of the strength of faith.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Benny.
Steve
Comment from Bill Schott
This Shakespearean sonnet, That Step, seems to be a metaphor for the dangerous tightrope walk known as life. The image depicts the ultimate straight and narrow path. The way faith can seem that difficult, but fortunately we have a net.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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This Shakespearean sonnet, That Step, seems to be a metaphor for the dangerous tightrope walk known as life. The image depicts the ultimate straight and narrow path. The way faith can seem that difficult, but fortunately we have a net.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
Comment from mfowler
The key to your beautiful sonnet is the final couplet which expresses so succinctly the message of the cross. Trust in that pure love and all will be well. (o, so hard to manage in a world of fears). You express than tenuous nature of faith very nicely in the opening stanzas, speaking in imagery of stepping out across an abyss. Your volta turns it back on the faith doubts driven by fear of secummbing to a 'dark abyss a lifetime wide'. You speak of 'a rope' which is only a 'slender thread of faith shines bright
entwined with love and patience, trust and hope' but strong enough to help you cross the abyss. Excellent enjambment, a lovely internal rhyme, and great meter help your poem elevate this expression of faith despite the pitfalls, from verse to lyrical excellence.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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The key to your beautiful sonnet is the final couplet which expresses so succinctly the message of the cross. Trust in that pure love and all will be well. (o, so hard to manage in a world of fears). You express than tenuous nature of faith very nicely in the opening stanzas, speaking in imagery of stepping out across an abyss. Your volta turns it back on the faith doubts driven by fear of secummbing to a 'dark abyss a lifetime wide'. You speak of 'a rope' which is only a 'slender thread of faith shines bright
entwined with love and patience, trust and hope' but strong enough to help you cross the abyss. Excellent enjambment, a lovely internal rhyme, and great meter help your poem elevate this expression of faith despite the pitfalls, from verse to lyrical excellence.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you for the excellent review - you have caught many of the nuances of the poem perfectly.
Steve
