Love in the Sand
Blank Verse83 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Once again you write of love and romance, and although I have read other topics you've scribed, I think I love this genre the most of your writing. You do it so well! Blank verse, if penned well almost sounds like it has rhyme, and this sure does - is beautiful! (That last line is my favorite, but the whole thing is gorgeous.)
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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Once again you write of love and romance, and although I have read other topics you've scribed, I think I love this genre the most of your writing. You do it so well! Blank verse, if penned well almost sounds like it has rhyme, and this sure does - is beautiful! (That last line is my favorite, but the whole thing is gorgeous.)
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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Thank you Dawn. I appreciate the review and stars:)
Comment from jlsavell
tab-thats me..
Blank verse is difficult and I am far from an expert, but I am taking Ray's class. So truthfully I cannot say whether this is technically perfect, but I can tell you how much I loved reading it and it sentiment. Incredibly beautiful with stunning imagery.. jlsavell
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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tab-thats me..
Blank verse is difficult and I am far from an expert, but I am taking Ray's class. So truthfully I cannot say whether this is technically perfect, but I can tell you how much I loved reading it and it sentiment. Incredibly beautiful with stunning imagery.. jlsavell
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much. I took Ray's class last year and thoroughly enjoyed it. He is a great teacher, reviewer and helper. I was getting lots of 4's on this including from Ray but he showed me the places that needed changed in meter and a rhyme that I didn't know I had. I came up with the ways to fix them and changed his rating. Blank verse is a huge challenge for me as I usually write free verse. Thanks so much.
Comment from Nosha17
I liked the imagery in your poem, how so many marks have been made and the sea has washed them away, but maybe the memory is still there. Well chosen words and excellent meter. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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I liked the imagery in your poem, how so many marks have been made and the sea has washed them away, but maybe the memory is still there. Well chosen words and excellent meter. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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Thank you Faye for the review and good luck wishes:)
Comment from Debbie Noland
I like the way this poem begins with the image and then leads the reader, through questioning, to contemplate the theme of transience. The blank verse demonstrates perfect iambic pentameter. Indirectly and subtly, the poem suggests that lovers "seize the day," as life and love are temporal things that pass quickly and may be quite insignificant in the context of all who have passed before.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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I like the way this poem begins with the image and then leads the reader, through questioning, to contemplate the theme of transience. The blank verse demonstrates perfect iambic pentameter. Indirectly and subtly, the poem suggests that lovers "seize the day," as life and love are temporal things that pass quickly and may be quite insignificant in the context of all who have passed before.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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Thank you Debbie. I appreciate that you found it to be in perfect iambic pentameter - a huge challenge for me;)
Comment from tfawcus
Two marvelous rhetorical questions here, the last one being a real clincher. So good! Your iambic meter runs consistently and its sing-song effect is well-disguised by your frequent use of multi-syllable words and enjambment. You have also avoided both internal and end-rhymes. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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Two marvelous rhetorical questions here, the last one being a real clincher. So good! Your iambic meter runs consistently and its sing-song effect is well-disguised by your frequent use of multi-syllable words and enjambment. You have also avoided both internal and end-rhymes. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your so thorough review of the meter and rhymes. It is great appreciated!
Comment from Donovan
Where is Pat Boone when you need him. This is love letters in the sand revisited and I love it. I am exactly 200 feet from the Pacific Ocean beach as I write this. I will go write and love letter when I am done and pen the unspeakable and hope the tide comes in quickly.......This is the poem we like...it reflects what we all have done and reminds us of great memories.....off with shoes and gong to get a stick and start writing......
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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Where is Pat Boone when you need him. This is love letters in the sand revisited and I love it. I am exactly 200 feet from the Pacific Ocean beach as I write this. I will go write and love letter when I am done and pen the unspeakable and hope the tide comes in quickly.......This is the poem we like...it reflects what we all have done and reminds us of great memories.....off with shoes and gong to get a stick and start writing......
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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Oh I envy you. Do you live there near the beach? I wrote this when I was visiting Maui. I so want to live near an ocean. hum, Nebraska - could I get any further away than living in the middle of the US? - ha. Thanks so much:)
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I have an office that close to the Pacific Ocean. Now the weather is not always ideal...but even in storms it exhilarates me.
The ocean to me puts it all in perspective of my insignificance and yet..my majesty.
Nothing wrong with Nebraska.....unless it it North Platte! Little joke.
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Not North Platte - southeast area.
Comment from MoonMuse
Wonderful job with your blank verse and best of luck with the contest. You've taken such a simple playful act and amplified the brevity of the moment. We all know and expect the message to be wiped away, but this gives a feeling the message is never really gone, just buried inside the waves. Very enjoyable. Cheers!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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Wonderful job with your blank verse and best of luck with the contest. You've taken such a simple playful act and amplified the brevity of the moment. We all know and expect the message to be wiped away, but this gives a feeling the message is never really gone, just buried inside the waves. Very enjoyable. Cheers!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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Thank you for the great review and good luck wishes:)
Comment from pennedup
This is a well thought out poem with an universal theme. "Love letters in the sand" remember the old song. I like the second and third stanzas with their questioning conclusions. Makes the reader ponder as well. Nicely presented.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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This is a well thought out poem with an universal theme. "Love letters in the sand" remember the old song. I like the second and third stanzas with their questioning conclusions. Makes the reader ponder as well. Nicely presented.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much:)
Comment from Helena Frances
The picture is sweet and perfect.
The verse tells of love hearts visibly present and past.
I especially like "...drafts of love have been removed,
enfolded in the waves..."
Beautiful!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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The picture is sweet and perfect.
The verse tells of love hearts visibly present and past.
I especially like "...drafts of love have been removed,
enfolded in the waves..."
Beautiful!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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Thank you for the wonderful review Helena:)
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This was great.
I especially liked the first verse for its simplicity of meaning and language.
Love carried or buried beneath the crashing waves. How many survive? How many crash?
Love this.
GMG
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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Hi there,
This was great.
I especially liked the first verse for its simplicity of meaning and language.
Love carried or buried beneath the crashing waves. How many survive? How many crash?
Love this.
GMG
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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Thank you GMG for the awesome six star review!!
