Tell me a tale
Rhyming couplets39 total reviews
Comment from fimarie78
I really like the rhythm of your poem. Nice choices of vocabulary throughout. I would put commas rather than full stops between the phrases or it might work well if they were all single short lines
Massage my words
Let me enthuse etc.
best wishes
Fiona
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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I really like the rhythm of your poem. Nice choices of vocabulary throughout. I would put commas rather than full stops between the phrases or it might work well if they were all single short lines
Massage my words
Let me enthuse etc.
best wishes
Fiona
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Fiona. This was an experiment in trochaic meter - a rhythm that I haven't attempted before. I very much appreciate your review and suggestions. I think you may be right. Some others have also commented along similar lines. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent application of the rarely used trochaic meter, Tony.
My interpretation is we all need REAL feelings and opinions to be expressed towards us (in general life as well as writing), as well as compliments, as without reality in general, and constructive third party opinions, we drown in dreams, self-congratulation and stagnation.
Top write.
Cheers, Ray
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Excellent application of the rarely used trochaic meter, Tony.
My interpretation is we all need REAL feelings and opinions to be expressed towards us (in general life as well as writing), as well as compliments, as without reality in general, and constructive third party opinions, we drown in dreams, self-congratulation and stagnation.
Top write.
Cheers, Ray
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Ray. This was an experiment in trochaic meter - a rhythm that I haven't attempted before. I very much appreciate your review. Most affirming! Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from BeasPeas
Wonderful. I enjoyed reading. The pace of your poem fits the content of your words--sort of an urgency to express--which I know I feel when eager to get my intent down on paper. Favorite lines:
"Sharpen my pen. Cut to the chase.
This is my life. You are its pace."
and
"Massage my words. Let me enthuse.
This is my rhyme. You are my muse."
Rhyming is top notch. Terrific image to accompany your piece. Marilyn/BeasPeas
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Wonderful. I enjoyed reading. The pace of your poem fits the content of your words--sort of an urgency to express--which I know I feel when eager to get my intent down on paper. Favorite lines:
"Sharpen my pen. Cut to the chase.
This is my life. You are its pace."
and
"Massage my words. Let me enthuse.
This is my rhyme. You are my muse."
Rhyming is top notch. Terrific image to accompany your piece. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Marilyn. This was an experiment in trochaic meter - a rhythm that I haven't attempted before. I very much appreciate your review. Most affirming! Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Tony: You have written a fun, song like, quick notes (like eighth notes in music) in your poem. I like the tale of your muse and you, mine. We are in a busy world with our families and jobs. Sometimes, I'm working and I grab pieces of puzzles and put these together. I wrote my latest post about love this way. Enjoy your B&B. Do you share your poems? God bless! flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Tony: You have written a fun, song like, quick notes (like eighth notes in music) in your poem. I like the tale of your muse and you, mine. We are in a busy world with our families and jobs. Sometimes, I'm working and I grab pieces of puzzles and put these together. I wrote my latest post about love this way. Enjoy your B&B. Do you share your poems? God bless! flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Flylikeaneagle. This was an experiment in trochaic meter - a rhythm that I haven't attempted before. I very much appreciate your review. Most affirming! I've published three slim volumes of verse with a small local publisher but haven't yet ventured into an eBook. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very interesting artwork.
-Poem is well written.
-Good use of rhyme and alliteration throughout.
-These things give the poem a fast pace, maybe like this relationship, as the last line indicates.
-"Quicken the beat" adds to this effect.
-I like the repetition of "time" in the second line of second stanza.
-The last line of this same stanza continues the fast pace of the poem.
-The alliteration with the "s" sound in the next to the last line is effective.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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-Very interesting artwork.
-Poem is well written.
-Good use of rhyme and alliteration throughout.
-These things give the poem a fast pace, maybe like this relationship, as the last line indicates.
-"Quicken the beat" adds to this effect.
-I like the repetition of "time" in the second line of second stanza.
-The last line of this same stanza continues the fast pace of the poem.
-The alliteration with the "s" sound in the next to the last line is effective.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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Many thanks, Respa, for your close reading and detailed response. Both very much appreciated. Tony
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You are welcome.
Comment from CR Delport
That actually sounds quite sweet. The words has a good flow without losing it's strength. This is very well done. Good job.
Take care.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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That actually sounds quite sweet. The words has a good flow without losing it's strength. This is very well done. Good job.
Take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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Many thanks, CRD.
Comment from kiwijenny
I like this muse directed poem. I always wonder at the directions our muse takes us. Mine is a one celled Irish guy called Rick O'Shea. He may be small but he's incredibly fast and bounces off my brain walls.
Love this poem.
God bless
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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I like this muse directed poem. I always wonder at the directions our muse takes us. Mine is a one celled Irish guy called Rick O'Shea. He may be small but he's incredibly fast and bounces off my brain walls.
Love this poem.
God bless
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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Thanks, Jenny, for your a-muse-ing response!
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Lol thanks for your pun-ishing response to my response:o)
Comment from misscookie
The artwork you choose is perfect for your poem.
Just look at the expression on his face.
Nothing he hears can erase his pain mistrust or hurt.
Thank you for sharing,
Cooke
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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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The artwork you choose is perfect for your poem.
Just look at the expression on his face.
Nothing he hears can erase his pain mistrust or hurt.
Thank you for sharing,
Cooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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Many thanks, Cooke. I appreciate you taking the time to review. Tony.
Comment from dragonpoet
This aabb quatrain poem says that she has caught love but she sees deceit in it. She also sees no end in the love.
The artwork shows a wild eyes woman who hair is all over the place just like love is wild and untamable
Keep writing
dragonpoet
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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This aabb quatrain poem says that she has caught love but she sees deceit in it. She also sees no end in the love.
The artwork shows a wild eyes woman who hair is all over the place just like love is wild and untamable
Keep writing
dragonpoet
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015
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Thanks, Dragonpoet. You may be right. She is a work of fiction, and therefore liable to get into all sorts of trouble at the hands of the poet.
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You're welcome.
dragonpoet
