The Old Violin
Anapestic Tetrameter contest entry82 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hi Tony,
I haven't had the privilege of reading your poetry for some time.
Just whizzing by the cover page, but of course, I had to pause and check you out!
As always - spectacular!
Well done, friend.
Sonali
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Hi Tony,
I haven't had the privilege of reading your poetry for some time.
Just whizzing by the cover page, but of course, I had to pause and check you out!
As always - spectacular!
Well done, friend.
Sonali
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Sonali, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from words
An interesting poem.
It seems to be a metaphor for love on the mature side of life.
Was especially taken by the idea of the " long slender bow" deranging the strings.
d
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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An interesting poem.
It seems to be a metaphor for love on the mature side of life.
Was especially taken by the idea of the " long slender bow" deranging the strings.
d
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Thanks again, d. You are one of very few who picked up on the dual meaning.
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a simply splendid poem this is, full of marvelous imagery and wonderful ambiance. I have no sixes left already this week, but this is most deserving of an exceptional rating, and personally, become a favorite of my collection here these past two and a half years! Bravo!
Beautiful! *********************Outstanding!!!!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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What a simply splendid poem this is, full of marvelous imagery and wonderful ambiance. I have no sixes left already this week, but this is most deserving of an exceptional rating, and personally, become a favorite of my collection here these past two and a half years! Bravo!
Beautiful! *********************Outstanding!!!!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Dawn, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six virtual stars and a bookmark. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from kiwijenny
Tony I don't think the tambourine sounds shrill..the violin will
Sorry I digress . I like your poem and the art work is so fitting...to derange the wild strings of the old violin...
This is dare I say full of sax and violins ...:o)
God bless
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Tony I don't think the tambourine sounds shrill..the violin will
Sorry I digress . I like your poem and the art work is so fitting...to derange the wild strings of the old violin...
This is dare I say full of sax and violins ...:o)
God bless
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Jenny, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it! Yes, I was a bit uncertain whether 'shrill' was quite the right word for the bells on a tambourine. I used it mainly for its onomatopoeic value. You were one of very few who caught the double meaning throughout. Most missed the sax!
Comment from rjuselius
a gypsy is usually looked down upon and for some reason they tend to fulfil their gypsy destiny. i've been to karaoke bars here in finland and have to say they know how to sing and their dance is better than ten wild horses.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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a gypsy is usually looked down upon and for some reason they tend to fulfil their gypsy destiny. i've been to karaoke bars here in finland and have to say they know how to sing and their dance is better than ten wild horses.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Rebekka, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from krys123
Tony;
I enjoyed reading your writing very much as it was very expressive of playing the violin. And as the imagery was very distinctly descriptive and exquisitely expressive in sharing the perspective of playing the violin: "Ah, what tunes can be played on an old violin When her strings are deranged by A Strong Slender Bow that can draw from the heart of Original Sin Of a swift Gypsy dance as she sways to and fro". A lovely visual of music being played in a very festive atmosphere.
One suggestion or interest that I must point out is in your third line of your first verse: "that can draw from her heart the Original Sin". If this is to be a trochaic tetrameter the stress points on the last six syllables are offset: (the-or-ig)--(in-al-sin). If each third syllable is stressed the near third syllable of each of these six syllables are (ig) and (sin). I found is most irregular.
Good luck in the contest for you have a very formidable entry.
Alex
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Tony;
I enjoyed reading your writing very much as it was very expressive of playing the violin. And as the imagery was very distinctly descriptive and exquisitely expressive in sharing the perspective of playing the violin: "Ah, what tunes can be played on an old violin When her strings are deranged by A Strong Slender Bow that can draw from the heart of Original Sin Of a swift Gypsy dance as she sways to and fro". A lovely visual of music being played in a very festive atmosphere.
One suggestion or interest that I must point out is in your third line of your first verse: "that can draw from her heart the Original Sin". If this is to be a trochaic tetrameter the stress points on the last six syllables are offset: (the-or-ig)--(in-al-sin). If each third syllable is stressed the near third syllable of each of these six syllables are (ig) and (sin). I found is most irregular.
Good luck in the contest for you have a very formidable entry.
Alex
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Alex, for reviewing my poem. Glad you enjoyed it! I have thought about your comment on line three. Whilst the stress in 'origin' is definitely on the 'gin', I'm inclined to think that the stress in 'original' slides more towards the 'rig', so I think I'll leave things as they are. Many thanks for the suggestion anyway. Much appreciated.
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You are so sincerely welcome Tony and that particularly part of your poem was very minuscule and not a big deal.
Alex
Comment from nancyjam
Strong anapestic meter carries this poem along.
Wonderful imagery and rhyme.
I enjoyed the theme of violin, and the gypsies dancing to
its music.
Good luck in the contest. Nancy
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Strong anapestic meter carries this poem along.
Wonderful imagery and rhyme.
I enjoyed the theme of violin, and the gypsies dancing to
its music.
Good luck in the contest. Nancy
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Nancy, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from perpetualwallflower
I love all the imagery the poem had. It's very beautiful and wonderful and jus lain fun. You've done a really truly great job on this poem. Good luck in the contest, I'm sure you'll do great.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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I love all the imagery the poem had. It's very beautiful and wonderful and jus lain fun. You've done a really truly great job on this poem. Good luck in the contest, I'm sure you'll do great.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Perpetualwallflower, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Cajungirl
Your poem is superbly crafted and a very enjoyable read. This is a most exceptional contest entry. I love the picture and wish you the best of luck.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Your poem is superbly crafted and a very enjoyable read. This is a most exceptional contest entry. I love the picture and wish you the best of luck.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Cajungirl, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Dawny53
Once was not enough for me on this one.. I think I must've read it four times. I appreciated it more with each read. Beautiful choice of art.. I admire your writing, this is very well done and so much fun to read!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Once was not enough for me on this one.. I think I must've read it four times. I appreciated it more with each read. Beautiful choice of art.. I admire your writing, this is very well done and so much fun to read!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Dawny, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
