A Breeze Swept Through
A Quatern126 total reviews
Comment from springrain
Hi Brooks, the main-theme flows beautifully through the verses, and captures the dynamic yet soft and gentle interplay between the breeze and the oak.
Excellent assonance in "the leaves and reeds", and alliteration in "stayed steady, strong and still".
Thanks for sharing and all the best to you, Olof
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Hi Brooks, the main-theme flows beautifully through the verses, and captures the dynamic yet soft and gentle interplay between the breeze and the oak.
Excellent assonance in "the leaves and reeds", and alliteration in "stayed steady, strong and still".
Thanks for sharing and all the best to you, Olof
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Olof, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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You are most welcome Brooke, Olof
Comment from GWHARGIS
Whata peaceful poem to gift to us. I loved the imagery and the personification of the wind and the elements. This is a captivating read and the style of poem lent itself well to the subject matter. Well done. Gretchen
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Whata peaceful poem to gift to us. I loved the imagery and the personification of the wind and the elements. This is a captivating read and the style of poem lent itself well to the subject matter. Well done. Gretchen
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Gretchen, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from persevere
I can feel that breeze brushing my skin!The repetition of that line is powerful and its placement in sequential lines in each stanza is so well crafted.That steady oak emphasizes the lightness of the breeze just passing through.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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I can feel that breeze brushing my skin!The repetition of that line is powerful and its placement in sequential lines in each stanza is so well crafted.That steady oak emphasizes the lightness of the breeze just passing through.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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persevere, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from lancellot
This is a very nice peom. It seeem a perfect creation for the soon to arrive fall season. I used to wonder how many people and things the same wind has touched and danced with. Well crafted.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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This is a very nice peom. It seeem a perfect creation for the soon to arrive fall season. I used to wonder how many people and things the same wind has touched and danced with. Well crafted.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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lancellot, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from vfbryant
Although I didn't recognize the form you used (my ignorance), I did note that you moved the first line of the first stanza down progressively in the following stanzas and that it was very effective. So much so that I went back and tried to ascertain if you were, indeed, following a named format, and I saw "Quatern" at the top. I'm glad I didn't know enough to recognize that, and therefore have the expectation of what was going to be written. It was fun to discover, as I read along, how the use of this line affected the tone and form of the poem. It's a very gentle, calming poem, and seems to remind us at the end that everything is not an issue, a crisis, a decision to be struggled with. It is ok to just "be", and find contentment in those little moments that, in our restlessness, we often miss. (By the way, I don't attach six stars to a poem unless I believe it is as near perfect as a piece can be. I just can't help giving you so many because you can't seem to compose anything that isn't crafted by the heart and hand of a truly gifted writer.)
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Although I didn't recognize the form you used (my ignorance), I did note that you moved the first line of the first stanza down progressively in the following stanzas and that it was very effective. So much so that I went back and tried to ascertain if you were, indeed, following a named format, and I saw "Quatern" at the top. I'm glad I didn't know enough to recognize that, and therefore have the expectation of what was going to be written. It was fun to discover, as I read along, how the use of this line affected the tone and form of the poem. It's a very gentle, calming poem, and seems to remind us at the end that everything is not an issue, a crisis, a decision to be struggled with. It is ok to just "be", and find contentment in those little moments that, in our restlessness, we often miss. (By the way, I don't attach six stars to a poem unless I believe it is as near perfect as a piece can be. I just can't help giving you so many because you can't seem to compose anything that isn't crafted by the heart and hand of a truly gifted writer.)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much, vfbryant, for your generous and thoughtful response to this poem. Because of that repeating/descending line the quatern is one of my favorite forms :-) Brooke
Comment from Rosebramble
This is a very nice flowing poem with fine tempo and rhyme. Your poem painted a vivid picture of a breeze by descriptive words. The picture matches perfectly with your poem.
Thank you for sharing:-)
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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This is a very nice flowing poem with fine tempo and rhyme. Your poem painted a vivid picture of a breeze by descriptive words. The picture matches perfectly with your poem.
Thank you for sharing:-)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Rosebramble, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from Just2Write
It's been awhile since I have seen a Quatern, Brooke. This one reminds me of the fable about the reed of grass and the oak tree, but I like your take on it better, in that the Oak and the speaker enjoyed the wind, but still did not bend - nor did they topple over. They just enjoyed the breeze for what it was. Reflective. Refreshing.
And so was the poem.
Rose.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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It's been awhile since I have seen a Quatern, Brooke. This one reminds me of the fable about the reed of grass and the oak tree, but I like your take on it better, in that the Oak and the speaker enjoyed the wind, but still did not bend - nor did they topple over. They just enjoyed the breeze for what it was. Reflective. Refreshing.
And so was the poem.
Rose.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Rose, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
The personification of the breeze, the wind, the leaves and the oak all are interesting. I particularly like the thought that there's no competition between breeze and wind. This is a nice drama of natural elements with yourself involved in the middle of it all. Love, Jeanie
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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The personification of the breeze, the wind, the leaves and the oak all are interesting. I particularly like the thought that there's no competition between breeze and wind. This is a nice drama of natural elements with yourself involved in the middle of it all. Love, Jeanie
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Jeanie, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from emrpoems
loved the message in the repeated line.
When we are anchored in our faith troubles will come but they will only brush our skim but like the old oak we will stand strong. Solid rhyme aabb rhymes
good use of alliteration right through.
Good rhythm and easy flow of words
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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loved the message in the repeated line.
When we are anchored in our faith troubles will come but they will only brush our skim but like the old oak we will stand strong. Solid rhyme aabb rhymes
good use of alliteration right through.
Good rhythm and easy flow of words
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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emrpoems, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from chasennov
A Breeze Swept Through.' This is quite a lovely Quatern you have created here, Brooke. I especially enjoyed the line; to partner with the leaves in dance. Well done.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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A Breeze Swept Through.' This is quite a lovely Quatern you have created here, Brooke. I especially enjoyed the line; to partner with the leaves in dance. Well done.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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chasennov, thank you so much :-) Brooke
