Comment from comanalbert

Excellent

Very enticing read and I must say you write like a world best selling author. You have a certain way with words that transpires professionalism and self confidence. Good for you! I aim to your level....

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 04-May-2014

Thanks, very much, comanalbert, and while I truly appreciate the sentiment, I'd advise you to aim a lot higher than me, for someone who's actually got some published books in their resume, lol. I'm very honored that you feel that way, though. Thank you!

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I hope you are not too long with the next part, this story is brilliant, Dean. Your descriptions, well I can only say they are wonderfully vivid! LOL, you bring in so many other interesting pieces as well, touching on how insulting can finally turn round and bite you, the mouse, scurrying away from the scent of humans. Really brilliant! xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 04-May-2014

Thanks so much, Sandra. I'm glad you're really enjoying this story. I've always appreciated your support and friendship. Thanks so much, again!

Comment from Tomes Johnston

Excellent

This is yet another interesting and fantastic addition to the story that the author has created with this piece of writing. I am completely drawn in by this tale of Hubbard Hale. I am hooked. This is the start of a fantastic ghost tale. Well done again.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014

Thank you so much, Tomes, my friend. I truly appreciate you following along with this story from the beginning. I always value your opinions of my work very highly.

reply by Tomes Johnston on 30-Apr-2014

I love reading your work.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

a flamin' bush that even Moses himself would be jealous of << Terrific line!

This is just creepy enough wiht suspense caused only by what was possible, not likely. Nothing is really happening, but the whole situation is one I'd avoid regardless of the potential payoff.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014

Hah, thanks, Phyllis, and I'll admit, I was thinking of something that Ginger might say when I wrote that line, lol.

Anyhow, I'm off to read your latest installment, so I'll be hollering at you again very soon.

I really appreciate your feed back and review!

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

I didn't see this coming! Shades of the great Stephen King. Something in the air is changing Timmy. Wonder if Hayle was fat and bullied when young. Dynamite description in the last two paragraphs. You hooked me.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 04-May-2014

What a compliment, Spit! To mention Stephen King's name and associate it was something I have written is the greatest compliment you could ever pay me. You have made my week!

I'm really happy that you're enjoying the story.

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

I am enjoying this. I am trying to picture who the two young actors could be when this becomes a good scary movie. I love the slang the narrator uses. Playing th butt trumpet, now that made me laugh. Great characterizations of both boys. Great job, keep it coming.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 04-May-2014

Hah, thanks, GW. I used to say that to my friends when I was younger. I don't really know where I'd heard it originally, but I always thought 'butt trumpet' was a funny way of saying it.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Dean this is masterful. I was lured by the name Hubbard...that was my maiden name.. We got free bones from the butcher :o)lol
You are a masterful story teller...well done ..you build up the story well and end at an intrigue-build..I can't wait to read more
God bless..I think I like this so much because it is so grounded and real
God bless

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 04-May-2014

Huh, Hubbard...now that's a coincidence, isn't it? And this story is all based on actual experiences I had growing up, so there's a lot of me as a kid in it. It shouldn't surprise anyone which character is based on me, lol.

Thanks so much again!

Comment from Gert sherwood

Exceptional

Hello Dean,
You certainly know how to draw a reader into your creepy story.

I wonder if I should be in fear for (Danny) is that his name? ((the narrator)) is in danger when Timmy's
eyes turned blood red, and something in those eyes that nearly caused the narrator to toss his cookies.

Gert

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 04-May-2014

Thanks a million, Gert. I'm so glad you're liking this one! I'm really grateful for your awesome rating and review.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Thanks for the pleasure of another great chapter and I'll anxiously awaiting chapter three and to see what the boys are about to get themselves into. Great job. :-)

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 04-May-2014

Thanks, Ric, and I really appreciate you following along!

Comment from nor84

Excellent

multimillionaire is one word, Dean.

Same with redheaded chick -- one word, no hyphen.

I began to attempt to use my vast knowledge -- That's one you should look at because it's a bit clunky. How about I decided to use OR I tried out instead? Anything to shave that one down a bit.

Yep, I hope I'm never competing with you in a horror contest. Good use of language and suspense.

A lone field mouse drew closer to it's (its) nest of newborns

Great, as usual.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2014

Thanks so much for the help with the editing, Norma. As my wife always tells me when I get a bit discouraged and frustrated by making stupid mistakes such as the one's you so kindly pointed out, "Don't worry about it, Dean. Even Stephen King has an editor for heaven's sakes!"

Thanks again for your wonderful review and suggestions. And, if we were to actually lock horns in a horror prompt, I suspect you would be able to hold your own just fine.

reply by nor84 on 30-Apr-2014

Always glad to help with the nitty gritty, Dean.