Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 90 "CHAPTER NINETEEN; PART THREE"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
47 total reviews
Comment from jadapenn
So, more scurrying around tunnels to find the elusive Paige. She was up in her room and now the whole community is hunting for her. I don't think I recall her being on the search for something. luv jada
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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So, more scurrying around tunnels to find the elusive Paige. She was up in her room and now the whole community is hunting for her. I don't think I recall her being on the search for something. luv jada
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter and i can't wait for paige to be found safely in cash's arms. i enjoyed reading this one..
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter and i can't wait for paige to be found safely in cash's arms. i enjoyed reading this one..
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
Comment from angelface2
Nerve wracking for sure. I would not want to be in a tunnel that might fill up with rain! good imagery and good conversation. I was a little bit confused about the dog, Are there two. I thought Billy Joe had the dog with him. Miss Sally
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Nerve wracking for sure. I would not want to be in a tunnel that might fill up with rain! good imagery and good conversation. I was a little bit confused about the dog, Are there two. I thought Billy Joe had the dog with him. Miss Sally
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
Comment from elgone
Another good installment. I know it is going to end soon and there will be a happy ending, you you are maintaining the suspense well. Also wonder how the ghost will help them.
E
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Another good installment. I know it is going to end soon and there will be a happy ending, you you are maintaining the suspense well. Also wonder how the ghost will help them.
E
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate your support.
Comment from Allezw2
Lacy barbara wilkey,
Dialog is good, when the characters have something to say. The words often give the feeling that they mean more than simply reading them might imply.
Even caves have crevasses, though these have already been used over the years, and originally dug out by hand.
The apprehension of searching for someone lost somewhere is always great, hope and fear alternating to prevent any feeling of ease, mostly dread.
... and all that they had to light their way were pine pitch torches, candles, kerosene, and whale oil. You don't know dark until you are in a cave deep underground.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Lacy barbara wilkey,
Dialog is good, when the characters have something to say. The words often give the feeling that they mean more than simply reading them might imply.
Even caves have crevasses, though these have already been used over the years, and originally dug out by hand.
The apprehension of searching for someone lost somewhere is always great, hope and fear alternating to prevent any feeling of ease, mostly dread.
... and all that they had to light their way were pine pitch torches, candles, kerosene, and whale oil. You don't know dark until you are in a cave deep underground.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and the support and knowledge. I appreciate you dropping by.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Great build-up of suspense, Barbara. This was an extremely well-written chapte,r and I am looking forward to seeing what Paige has gotten herself into! Warmest regards, Bev
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Great build-up of suspense, Barbara. This was an extremely well-written chapte,r and I am looking forward to seeing what Paige has gotten herself into! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I am off you read your next installment. I'm sure it's great.
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You're very welcome, Barbara. :0) Bev
Comment from mumsyone
Paige certainly knows how to keep getting into trouble! Good chapter, Barbara.
"We're a waistin' (wastin') time."
"There ain't no hidden door here. We're waistin' (wastin') time.
I heard tell how the various Mr. Bookman's (Bookmans) would go down to the tunnel
Dem people like dem Walkers watched da house(,) trying to catch dem.
Billy Joe called.(, then) Then waited for his buddy.
"No(,) I don't. I think I heard Morgan's bark."
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Paige certainly knows how to keep getting into trouble! Good chapter, Barbara.
"We're a waistin' (wastin') time."
"There ain't no hidden door here. We're waistin' (wastin') time.
I heard tell how the various Mr. Bookman's (Bookmans) would go down to the tunnel
Dem people like dem Walkers watched da house(,) trying to catch dem.
Billy Joe called.(, then) Then waited for his buddy.
"No(,) I don't. I think I heard Morgan's bark."
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
Billy Joe called.(, then) Then waited for his buddy. (I had it like this and was told to change it. I like it this way best. I am changing it back.
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Yes. "Then waited for his buddy." is not a complete sentence, so it doesn't really work.
Comment from Sasha
I cannot imagine anyone not liking dialogue...but to each his own. This is a tense and scary chapter. Those tunnels are old and the chance of collapsing is very real. I do hope they find both Paige and Morgan safe and sound. My question is, how did they get down there???? Lots of questions still waiting to be answer. Great work with this one.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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I cannot imagine anyone not liking dialogue...but to each his own. This is a tense and scary chapter. Those tunnels are old and the chance of collapsing is very real. I do hope they find both Paige and Morgan safe and sound. My question is, how did they get down there???? Lots of questions still waiting to be answer. Great work with this one.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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They went in the tunnel through the library and it caved in after they entered. Thank you for the kind review and dropping by,
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No, I meant how did Paige and Morgan get down there....
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that's how they did it. The air pressure from the storm with some help from Bradley opened the door in the library and it then that opening caved in.
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Oh, I forgot about Bradley...he's a ghost and do just about anything!
Comment from judiverse
I really enjoyed the historical touches in this, with the secret tunnels used to bring slaves through. Amos is turning out to be a big help with his knowledge of the tunnels used in the Underground Railway. His Dog is sure to be, too. Amos knows that the Bookmans helped slaves to escape, whereas the Walkers tried to capture them. Before they have found Paige, they know there's the threat of a cave-in and flooding. They think they hear Morgan barking, so rescue is surely at hand. Excellent work! judi
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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I really enjoyed the historical touches in this, with the secret tunnels used to bring slaves through. Amos is turning out to be a big help with his knowledge of the tunnels used in the Underground Railway. His Dog is sure to be, too. Amos knows that the Bookmans helped slaves to escape, whereas the Walkers tried to capture them. Before they have found Paige, they know there's the threat of a cave-in and flooding. They think they hear Morgan barking, so rescue is surely at hand. Excellent work! judi
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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I am sure hoping. I'm starting to get worried about Paige. Thank you for the kind review and dropping by
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You're so welcome. That's what keeps the readers interested--wondering what's up with Paige. judi
Comment from rama devi
Second review
:-))
First review (FOUR stars)
The excellent diction in dialog brings your characters to life. Good pacing and flow Draws the reader in. Very good chapter. Just noted a few spags and typos:
NOTES:
*He opened the cabinet door under the sink and quickly filled a thermos. "See(,) it didn't take long."
*"Over hereby the pantry." Billy Joe pointed at the padlock and felt behind the cabinets for the key.
"Over here, by the pantry."
*
Moments later(,) the door to the tunnel opened.
*
"Cash, we found another door," called Billy Joe, then waited for his buddy.
Slightly awkward. Consider a couple of alternatives:
"Cash, we found another door," called Billy Joe. Then he waited for his buddy.
or
"Cash, we found another door," Billy Joe called, and then waited for his buddy.
* "Amos, where does this end.(?)
*
The following is a quote by Harriet Tubman(,) who helped the slaves through the Underground railroad.(:)
By Harriet Tubman
I was the conductor of the Underground Railroad for eight years, and I can say what most conductors can't say -- I never ran my train off the track and I never lost a passenger.
Love the quote in the end but it is unclear if it is a commentary on the chapter or if it meant to be part of the dialog--someone quoting her. If the latter, then it needs quote marks and this needs to be made more clear. Otherwise, if the former, then I recommend using line breaks and perhaps even italics so it is more obvious.
Since I've been unable to keep up with all chapters, I've nothing to comment on the plot development, but I know from previous experience reading your work, that it is probably fine, with no holes. As for this chapter, it works well and portrays the scene as if the reader is in it..with a good POV too.
Happy to upgrade if typos/spag are fixed, dear...just let me know.
Lots of Love,
rd
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Second review
:-))
First review (FOUR stars)
The excellent diction in dialog brings your characters to life. Good pacing and flow Draws the reader in. Very good chapter. Just noted a few spags and typos:
NOTES:
*He opened the cabinet door under the sink and quickly filled a thermos. "See(,) it didn't take long."
*"Over hereby the pantry." Billy Joe pointed at the padlock and felt behind the cabinets for the key.
"Over here, by the pantry."
*
Moments later(,) the door to the tunnel opened.
*
"Cash, we found another door," called Billy Joe, then waited for his buddy.
Slightly awkward. Consider a couple of alternatives:
"Cash, we found another door," called Billy Joe. Then he waited for his buddy.
or
"Cash, we found another door," Billy Joe called, and then waited for his buddy.
* "Amos, where does this end.(?)
*
The following is a quote by Harriet Tubman(,) who helped the slaves through the Underground railroad.(:)
By Harriet Tubman
I was the conductor of the Underground Railroad for eight years, and I can say what most conductors can't say -- I never ran my train off the track and I never lost a passenger.
Love the quote in the end but it is unclear if it is a commentary on the chapter or if it meant to be part of the dialog--someone quoting her. If the latter, then it needs quote marks and this needs to be made more clear. Otherwise, if the former, then I recommend using line breaks and perhaps even italics so it is more obvious.
Since I've been unable to keep up with all chapters, I've nothing to comment on the plot development, but I know from previous experience reading your work, that it is probably fine, with no holes. As for this chapter, it works well and portrays the scene as if the reader is in it..with a good POV too.
Happy to upgrade if typos/spag are fixed, dear...just let me know.
Lots of Love,
rd
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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I have made the corrections. I appreciate your help. I separated the quote from the story. It was extra. When I was doing research I found it and liked it, so thought I would share.
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Ah yes, I love Harriet Tubman--wrote a report about her in School at ten years old! :)
Thanks dear...off to upgrade.
Love,
rd
