Comment from marycec

Excellent

What a beautiful poem about an indigenous tree.Great use of alliteration in 'tortured' 'twisted' .'torn.' The grotesque and bleak imagery of the tree in its growing cycle adds delight to the tree' lad in scarlet cloth'. The picture was an added bonus that complemented your words perfectly.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014

Mary, thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Lady Ophelia

Exceptional

This is a beautiful poem. I love how you describe the trees as doughty beings in the face of adversity. I especially love the line "unyielding sentries stand in silent guard". There is just something so powerful in that line. I also love the last line, it ends the poem perfectly, bringing it all together. Good rhyme, nice flow and stunning imagery. I suppose in part I like this so much because I come from the desert, and plants such as this demand a great respect from dwellers in the dry earth. Great work! :)

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014

Two sixes from you in a row - you probably didn't realise at the time because one was in a blind contest.

Glad you picked out the last line - without it the poem is pretty much 'a nice poem about a tree' as one reviewer has said...

Steve

reply by Lady Ophelia on 20-Mar-2014

Haha, I hadn't noticed, but I guess I just like your style! You write so beautifully. :)

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

Undaunted by neglect and weather's wrack,
they ask for naught - and offer beauty back.
brilliant piece of poetry!
thank you for sharing!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014

Thanks, Rebekka!

Yep, that's my homespun wisdom for this week.

Steve

Comment from Bayberry

Exceptional

This an exceptional sonnet offering exciting imagery observable in real life. A lot about this wondrous tree is learned from the metric lines, as well as from your helpful Author Notes. Sincere best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014

Thanks so much for the warm review and the six shiny stars.

Steve

Comment from emrpoems

Excellent

A beautiful production with notes that give clarity to the poem.
I am not an expert at the sonnet but I can say that this is a strong contender in the contest. Great rhythm and perfect abab cdce efef gg rhymes.
Excellent transitioning of words from one line to another.

Undaunted by neglect and weather's wrack,
they ask for naught - and offer beauty back.
Solid end lines with the use of alliteration
Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from trimple

Exceptional

Excellent Sonnet!

Too many lines to express how cleverly I thought you composed this little beaut. This one however ..

salute December clad in scarlet cloth.

What a terrific description for blossom.

I also entered the sonnet contest with a piece entitled
'A Wagger's Tale'

But reading this splendid example, I wish I hadn't bothered!

Kind regards

tracey trimple :)

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

Tracey, thanks for the generous review. I have won this contest before (with another tree poem coincidentally) but I doubt whether this one is the kind the judges will smile upon.

Steve

reply by trimple on 16-Mar-2014

Hi Steve

Well I have only ever written three sonnets, having only just tried.

I wouldn't know exactly what a judge looks for. I presume the obvious, but there after regarding subject matter pfft, gawd knows:)

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

I've been around long enough to see (and enter) quite a few of these contests.

I suspect the judges look for something beyond expert versification and clever words - they want to see some depth of thought - a bit of philosophy or fresh thinking, I guess.

That's why I have doubts about my entry this time - the subject is too simple and straightforward. My only hope is that they see a little more than a nice poem about a tree - perhaps my last line may nudge them in the right direction.

Steve

reply by trimple on 16-Mar-2014

'they ask for naught - and offer beauty back.'

sounds like you are a northerner :)

reply by trimple on 16-Mar-2014

As you are clearly a seasoned wordsmith. Would you mind, if you have time of course, to answer this question. I'm almost too embarrassed to ask it, but here goes.

Words like for example sublime, cautious, ridiculous, grouchy, bland, surreal, morbid, humdrum, debauchery and so on and so forth.
They sound the words they are. ugly/ floral/

There are also words like beguile and dulcet which sound lovely but have non so positive meanings.
my question is..
Is there a term for this?

kind regards
tracey

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

Tracey, as they say, there is no such thing as a silly question.

You may have caught me out on this one - there probably is a term, but I can't think of it at the moment.

I presume you know about onomatopoeia - the use of words that sound directly like their meaning - splat and trickle and so forth.

Then there are the matching pair euphony (nice) and cacophony (harsh) sounding words but I'm not sure that's what you're after.

Apart from that I can only think of terms like connotation, but that's more to do with feeling than sound...

Hope this helps

Steve

reply by trimple on 16-Mar-2014

Hi there Steve

Thanks for getting back to me.
i spoke to Adrewpearl today and she said exactly the same as you. It would appear that as far as we then that no such term refers to what i was after. this I find interesting. Especially a nice word that refers to a harsh things like Cessation = death
Finis = death
Maleficent = evil
Appropriation = theft
Calumniation = lie
Umbrage = anger
Chagrin = anger

I live just up the road from the British Library.
Perhaps i should give them a visit :)

Thank you my friend for taking the time to respond.

kindest regards
tracey :)

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

My pleasure

Your examples give a great example of difference in connotation though - umbrage and chagrin may both have the basic meaning of 'anger' but they are miles apart in their connotations...

Take care not to get lost in that Library! :o)

Steve

Comment from Cycler

Excellent

I'd love to see these trees in person. You've created nice visuals that give me a great idea of what they look like - making me want to see them. Your sonnet is very nice - and about a lovely subject ... enhancing their existence in a marvelous manner. I enjoyed this read!

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

Thanks for the kind words. I had a chuckle about meeting a tree 'in person'

Steve

Comment from JLPuckett

Excellent

Very nice use of description and imagery in this piece. I like that you included a description of the tree in the author notes as well. It made me wish I could see it in person. Thank you for sharing this poem!

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Dave Russell

Excellent

This is a beautiful sonnet and I have to think that it will be a very strong contender in the contest. It has wonderful imagery and flow. Best of luck

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

Thanks a lot!

Steve

Comment from Leineco

Exceptional

This is wonderfully done!
You do such an convincing job of describing the harshness these
struggling trees endure. . .ocean's stinging spray, tortured limbs -twisted, torn and scarred, supplicating for relief from toil, etc
and then bring us around to see the beauty all this misery embues summer warms the land; they spread their cooling shade across the sand, salute December clad in scarlet cloth.
While your closing couplet recognizes their unselfish flourishing :-)

Very lovely write :-)

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

Thanks, Lorraine.

I appreciate your warm words and the six stars.

Steve