The Little Dog That Wouldn't Let Go
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Primary/ Middle School Days. "Subtitle: God Never Lets Go!
34 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Very interesting look into your childhood. Great story about the hill property and the pit toilet. Your mother's many illnesses must have been hard for you to understand. I loved ham sandwiches when I was a child, and we often stopped at this particular restaurant just for a ham sandwich. Excellent story-telling voice. You might want to just stick to the story instead of digressing to something you've already written or something you plan to write about. judi
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
  |
Very interesting look into your childhood. Great story about the hill property and the pit toilet. Your mother's many illnesses must have been hard for you to understand. I loved ham sandwiches when I was a child, and we often stopped at this particular restaurant just for a ham sandwich. Excellent story-telling voice. You might want to just stick to the story instead of digressing to something you've already written or something you plan to write about. judi
Comment Written 19-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
-
Thanks for the advice will do an edit so not good pre-empting on coming or past stuff huh...takes up space hehe! Cheers
-
Thasnks again I just went in and did a bit more of a cut. Need to add more I am sure. have a look again when you have time. As another reviewer said it comes up a bit shoirt when I take all the looking back and forward out hehe.
-
You're so welcome. Excellent details in this. I don't know why you'd need to add more for this particular part. You'll have plenty more to come. judi
-
Hi, Sankey. You're so welcome. I'd say just focus on what you're writing about at the time. judi
-
Just been through for Edit number 3 I think if you wanna look
-
Hi, Sankey. Good luck with your editing. You have a great story-telling voice, and that's the big part. judi
-
Hi Judy I think it is because of "The Gift of the gab" hehe.
-
You do have a great story-telling voice. judi
Comment from c_lucas
Our early years mold the adult in us. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
|
Our early years mold the adult in us. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
-
Thanks mate appreciated Judi above made the point of my digressions back and forward might clean that up a bit thanks again.
-
You're welcome, Sankey. Charlie
-
Just did an edit of the loking back and forward comes up a bit short now need to add some more soon.
-
Just been through for Edit number 3 I think if you wanna look
-
I'll check it out in the morning. Charlie
Comment from Erik McGinley
I think this is much better, you have at least a whole three paragraphs in here that you are not apologising for having written ;)
I am not being nasty there, btw, We all write what we want to write, so go for it.
Australia and the First State. Line break here.
This reads much better. There is a story in there. Not just you having a rambling conversation with someone who already knows you.
Now you are explaining what you want to talk about to people who have never met you. And, you are starting to get the message across.
Noone will know what you are trying to say unless you explain it to them. We have not lived your life. Its the fact that we have not experienced what you have that makes it interesting. So tell us how it happened and assume we know Nothing.
If you tell us. If you explain it so we can learn and understand another person's life or imagination. That's when you start to get pat our lack of knowledge and hit our interest.
As I said, go for it! Your pen, your paper! Be you and feel happy to describe your life, experiences and imagination. Otherwise we just don't know.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
 |
I think this is much better, you have at least a whole three paragraphs in here that you are not apologising for having written ;)
I am not being nasty there, btw, We all write what we want to write, so go for it.
Australia and the First State. Line break here.
This reads much better. There is a story in there. Not just you having a rambling conversation with someone who already knows you.
Now you are explaining what you want to talk about to people who have never met you. And, you are starting to get the message across.
Noone will know what you are trying to say unless you explain it to them. We have not lived your life. Its the fact that we have not experienced what you have that makes it interesting. So tell us how it happened and assume we know Nothing.
If you tell us. If you explain it so we can learn and understand another person's life or imagination. That's when you start to get pat our lack of knowledge and hit our interest.
As I said, go for it! Your pen, your paper! Be you and feel happy to describe your life, experiences and imagination. Otherwise we just don't know.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
-
Well sir, I am so glad I have a great support team. I have had others who know me better offer some of the similar to your help. Thanks and sorry I disappointed you so much.
-
I just did some cutting as to your advice and one other reviewer I do agree it comes up a bit short now will work on that later have a look again if you want seeif any improvement or wait awhile whatever you think. I am not a professional writer as a lot of you are in here ok!
-
Just been through for Edit number 3 I think if you wanna look
-
Having a look now. Do remember that no reviewer can take the place of what You want to write. We are a buckboard and nothing more.
-
Well thanks for coming back, I went in and changed some of it as someone else I have known a lot longer than I have known you had some similar observations hope you liked the later look and enjoyed it a bit better.
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
I love the old pictures, they're so much fun to look at and all the memories they bring back to one. This is a nice stor and interesting story. God loves you and we do too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
|
I love the old pictures, they're so much fun to look at and all the memories they bring back to one. This is a nice stor and interesting story. God loves you and we do too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2013
-
Thanks for stopping g by need to catch up on some reviewing but I needed to add to my book and I had a whole bag of Member Dollars to off load so here we go. Is this still Janey or is Evelyn back o9n Deck?
-
It's Janie, Evelyn got home two days ago and then they gave her a double dose accidentally of one of her meds and it made her vomit all night and half of yesterday. She was feeling better today so hopefully she'll be back on board soon. God loves you and so do we.
-
Remember us to her ok! Darn Medico's!! Grrr! I put a big bonus thing on my book so there are rewards for viewing the whole book if you care to. Cleared out some of my Member Dollar stack hehe.
-
Just went in and took on board some of the advice and deleted some. Need to come back to add more later.
-
Just been through for Edit number 3 I think if you wanna look
