Rabbit
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Truth Sometimes Hurts"A Boy's Story of the rural South
35 total reviews
Comment from Slayde
This was really good and I liked it. I didn't expect it either cause I didn't desire the title. I usually don't read these stories cause they are to long. Even though they pay hog cents idc. Or I read have of it and quit but this one kept me satisfied throughout. From start to finish I was really enjoying the way u set up the character and visuals. Great job
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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This was really good and I liked it. I didn't expect it either cause I didn't desire the title. I usually don't read these stories cause they are to long. Even though they pay hog cents idc. Or I read have of it and quit but this one kept me satisfied throughout. From start to finish I was really enjoying the way u set up the character and visuals. Great job
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thanks for reading, especially when this isn't your chosen genre! Regards, Bill
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Grandma and grandpa (capitalize Grandpa)
bucketful is one word
I Circled back around behind (small case circled)
A few spags but the humor in this more than makes up for it. I am still laughing about the condoms. Quite enjoyable!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Grandma and grandpa (capitalize Grandpa)
bucketful is one word
I Circled back around behind (small case circled)
A few spags but the humor in this more than makes up for it. I am still laughing about the condoms. Quite enjoyable!!! Debbie
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thanks Debby, for reading, enjoying and the constructive feedback. I appreciate them all. Bill
Comment from GWinterwin
What a cute story, kept me laughing through the whole thing. Can just imagine how scared this young boy was when the gun went off. Funny but interesting and certainly My attention all the way to the end. I think you write some like I do in the fact sometimes you don't specify things to the fullest. Anyway very good job.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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What a cute story, kept me laughing through the whole thing. Can just imagine how scared this young boy was when the gun went off. Funny but interesting and certainly My attention all the way to the end. I think you write some like I do in the fact sometimes you don't specify things to the fullest. Anyway very good job.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thank you for reading and your kind comments. It really is impossible to specify everything. Hopefully I provide enough of an outline for the reader to "color in" the rest. Regards, Bill
Comment from Beverley101
I read your first bit on Rabbit which was excellent so I was a little let down here. The story is good but needs some revision. Some of your sentences are a bit convoluted. Ex: 'hey'd go by and pick up my cousin Wesley for the two of us to go.'
Work on the flow. Sometimes it seems like you're telling us what's happening versus letting the story unfold. Go back to the chapter where you tell us why Rabbit is called Rabbit and you'll know exactly what I mean. Good luck.
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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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I read your first bit on Rabbit which was excellent so I was a little let down here. The story is good but needs some revision. Some of your sentences are a bit convoluted. Ex: 'hey'd go by and pick up my cousin Wesley for the two of us to go.'
Work on the flow. Sometimes it seems like you're telling us what's happening versus letting the story unfold. Go back to the chapter where you tell us why Rabbit is called Rabbit and you'll know exactly what I mean. Good luck.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thanks for reading. I appreciate your comments thought don't really know how to address. My attempts are to try and allow you to see the scene and identify with the characters. Some telling for sure, but not sure how to totally eliminate in what is an ongoing story. Bill
Comment from Chanphy
This is a good story, and I enjoyed reading. You gave very clear descriptions, so I visualized being there. You kept my interest throughout the reading. I noticed two errors in the quotes below. The first one is an incomplete thought or remove the "a." The second one "too" should be "to."
"The movie was a great."
"Who the heck did they belong too?"
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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This is a good story, and I enjoyed reading. You gave very clear descriptions, so I visualized being there. You kept my interest throughout the reading. I noticed two errors in the quotes below. The first one is an incomplete thought or remove the "a." The second one "too" should be "to."
"The movie was a great."
"Who the heck did they belong too?"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thanks for reading, the kind feedback and the spots. I appreciate all of them. Bill
