Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

Another great post, Bev. Saw and felt everything. You have such attention to detail. It sets up the scenes perfectly. Tension is tangible throughout.

A couple of observations:

Sheriff Oleson navigated the tree-lined streets of Granite Mountain. - Just wondering if you should indicate the vehicle. Sheriff Oleson navigated his patrol car along the tree-lined streets...etc Suggestion only.

a friend of Stanley Ei(s)ner's.

The elevator was full, but soon the occupants moved to their safety zones as if they feared he would ticket them for elevator loitering. - Ha! Love it. The power of a uniform.

with Stanley Ei(s)ner as its hub.

Aww, that's so sad Stanley didn't make it. :(

The physician cocked his head like a bird listening for a worm. - LOVE that description.

Very skillful, the way you're leading us through this mystery.

Can't wait for the next. Should be a sixer, but you're rationed it seems.


:o)
Hugs to you, lovely lady,


Av
x

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Hi, Av. Thank you so much for this very generous review. Kinda sad when I can't remember to spell my own character's namely correctly LOL. And I do think your suggestion for that beginning section is perfect. It's always so great to get your insights and your support is so very much appreciated, my friend. Love ya, Bev

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hey Bev! So nice to read another chapter of your story. I enjoy the gum shoe feel of this story. It is not too hard to follow along, especially because I am a slow reader and don't comprehend quickly. I was hoping this guy would tell them something before he died but I guess it' not meant to be. Great suspense in this story. You have me hooked!

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Thank you much, Joy. Stanley will be more help dead than alive. Really appreciate your great review, my friend. Hugs, Bev

Comment from fictionwriter

Excellent

I love the way you've worded this part of the story. there was such tension, and the sadness seeped off the pages. you really to me with this one. Well done.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Thank you so much. High praise coming from such a wonderful descriptive writer as yourself! I appreciate the encouragement. Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from kleck140

Excellent

You tell an interesting story and kept my interest to
the end. I want to read more and more. It is ver well
written and I wish I could use descriptive words as
well as you do. Keep on writing and sharing.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Thank you so much! I am honored by your generous review and words of encouragement. It means a lot to me. Blessings, Bev

reply by kleck140 on 03-Dec-2012

Thanks for your quick response!

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, beveryly, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where eisner succumbs to his heart attack and his friend passes on information that may help

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Thank you so much, sweet. I sure appreciate your loyal reading of my chapters and generous words of encouragement. Blessings, Bev

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

So he died from a stroke that was a result of the surgery? But the heart attack came from something else I take it? They will eventually have to get to the letter which is for now stored safely away in his safe at home.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Hi, Gungalo. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Warm regards, Bev

reply by Gungalo on 02-Dec-2012

Smiling Bev.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

I know from my own health that if anyone threatens me, the minimum will be attempted murder. This is very well writtnen with a smooth flow of words.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Thank you most kindly, charlie. Appreciate it! Bev

reply by c_lucas on 02-Dec-2012

You're welcome, Beb. Charlie

Comment from dancerwriter

Excellent

Although I have not read previous chapters, there was enough detail and mystery in this part chapter to arouse my interest. Goodo story. and--Though these have nothing to do with the actual story, I have to comment on the expressions "naked leaves", love it, and "elevator loitering", quite a humouress saying, and comical in its meaning.Maybe this could be considered a new law! Lesley.J.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Thanks so much, Lesley. I sure appreciate the generous and encouraging review. Glad you found the chapter 'interesting'. Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from Rondeno

Excellent

I'm hooked already. This fast-paced thriller has a fresh feel to it, and you've supplied a lot of convincing detail. Please post more chapters!

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Hi, Rondeno. I plan to have one out in a few days. Thanks so much for the encouragement and generous review. I appreciate it! Bev

Comment from Curtis Hatch

Excellent

This is an interesting story, and I find it very engaging. The death of Debora Padget is at the forefront of what is happening. The story is well-written and it allows my mind's eye to see what is happening. The story is rich with action, conflict, suspense and mystery. It is a good read.

Godspeed,
Curtis

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012

Hi, Curtis. There's about to be another victim found. I've still got a ways to go before bringing this puppy to a conclusion LOL. Thanks for caring and sharing your insights. Kindest regards, Bev