Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Chapter 3, Part 3"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
84 total reviews
Comment from juliedickson55
Nice treatment of dialog and interaction between characters.
The graphic compliments your story well.
Interesting merge between a southern love story and renovation type project.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Nice treatment of dialog and interaction between characters.
The graphic compliments your story well.
Interesting merge between a southern love story and renovation type project.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from whispersofthesoul
Hiya.
Once again you have crafted a perfect chapter that read with ease? I love your characters and each of there roles work hand in hand with each other with ease. Again the dialogue is great and natural? The flow from chapter is coming along quite naturally without any disruptions.
Good job and agreat read
Whispers xx
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Hiya.
Once again you have crafted a perfect chapter that read with ease? I love your characters and each of there roles work hand in hand with each other with ease. Again the dialogue is great and natural? The flow from chapter is coming along quite naturally without any disruptions.
Good job and agreat read
Whispers xx
Comment Written 21-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cleo Belle
I enjoyed reading this continuation of the story and your references to 'pirates' - since I am about to play a gay pirate in a local mummer's play. So it was very topical for me.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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I enjoyed reading this continuation of the story and your references to 'pirates' - since I am about to play a gay pirate in a local mummer's play. So it was very topical for me.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the review. Good luck with the play
Comment from xxjsfuncxxxity
Another deftly-constructed, grammatically flawless chapter. Well done. I loved the photo of that ancient stairway. It's what first caught my eye. Expert pacing, description and dialogue, as in previous chapters. A fun, easy read.
Paige stuffed her hands in her jean's pockets. "You don't think it's a good idea?" - Really admire the way you use a character's body language to show emotion. Such a great technique for ''showing'' the reader what's going on inside someone's head.
Great stuff. No flaws whatever to critique. No spags, no nothin', just a good, entertaining old-fashioned read. Bravo!!
cheers
js
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Another deftly-constructed, grammatically flawless chapter. Well done. I loved the photo of that ancient stairway. It's what first caught my eye. Expert pacing, description and dialogue, as in previous chapters. A fun, easy read.
Paige stuffed her hands in her jean's pockets. "You don't think it's a good idea?" - Really admire the way you use a character's body language to show emotion. Such a great technique for ''showing'' the reader what's going on inside someone's head.
Great stuff. No flaws whatever to critique. No spags, no nothin', just a good, entertaining old-fashioned read. Bravo!!
cheers
js
Comment Written 21-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. Nice to hear from you again.
Comment from G.B. Smith
hey there Barbara
Barbara THIS CHAPTER IS SUPERB. The story is moving along nicely. I am enjoying your characters and their relationships. I enjoyed the riverwalk scene with the romantic imagery you have created. It almost feels like being there.
Bear
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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hey there Barbara
Barbara THIS CHAPTER IS SUPERB. The story is moving along nicely. I am enjoying your characters and their relationships. I enjoyed the riverwalk scene with the romantic imagery you have created. It almost feels like being there.
Bear
Comment Written 21-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cobalt Blue
I guess it's gonna take awhile for the love to develop here but it is certainly on its way. Very well written with exceptional dialogue written in that seems very natural in its flow. Good writing!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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I guess it's gonna take awhile for the love to develop here but it is certainly on its way. Very well written with exceptional dialogue written in that seems very natural in its flow. Good writing!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Paigen and Cash seem to enjoy each others company. He is giving her a tour of the town. She wants to know more about pirates. I wonder if she will see ghosts on her tour.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Paigen and Cash seem to enjoy each others company. He is giving her a tour of the town. She wants to know more about pirates. I wonder if she will see ghosts on her tour.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Barb. Hope all is well with you. This is another fine chapter, I see. You paint beautiful pictures with your text.
Suggestions if I may:
" She glanced at muscles" (This is fine but I think it would have more "punch" if you said "his muscles" in this particular case.
"After climbing up the stone steps" (leave off the word "stone here, because you just used it in the previous sentence.)
Great dialogue as usual throughout.
""Working on my old car and fishing." (work on my old car and fish makes more sense here, Barb.
Keep up the good work. I am so glad I am finished with my book except for the epilogue. Whew!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2012
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Hi, Barb. Hope all is well with you. This is another fine chapter, I see. You paint beautiful pictures with your text.
Suggestions if I may:
" She glanced at muscles" (This is fine but I think it would have more "punch" if you said "his muscles" in this particular case.
"After climbing up the stone steps" (leave off the word "stone here, because you just used it in the previous sentence.)
Great dialogue as usual throughout.
""Working on my old car and fishing." (work on my old car and fish makes more sense here, Barb.
Keep up the good work. I am so glad I am finished with my book except for the epilogue. Whew!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2012
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Sorry for the lateness of this replie. I wanted to be sure I had time to make the corrections. I was very busy last week. I do appreciate your review.
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:) Bob
Comment from TheWriteTeach
This was a very nice read. I enjoyed the flirting between Cash and Paige. It was very real and believable. I could see her blushing when she looked at his muscles. The unhurried southern pace, as opposed to the rat race of New York City, was very apparent even though you didn't specifically stress that aspect. It came through in their conversation, it didn't have any urgency in it and their walk to the Pirate's House seemed to be a leisurely stroll rather than a fast-paced gait to quickly reach a destination. It was excellent when Cash and Dwayne met; the testosterone meter was running on full. Dwayne made sure Cash knew he was a doctor and the head of a department, and Cash couldn't get Paige away from Dwayne fast enough and even asked if he were her boss. That is exactly how men act. The southern aspect came into play again when Cash begged off Paige's invitation to come in with the excuse he had to make sure he made it home safely.
I am truly not an expert but I didn't see anything that needed to be fixed or tweaked.
I liked how you added in your notes at the end that errors in dialogue were intentional - I may steal your idea. I am off now to read your previous chapters because I am intrigued with the possible tunnel under Paige's house and the reference to her ghost.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
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This was a very nice read. I enjoyed the flirting between Cash and Paige. It was very real and believable. I could see her blushing when she looked at his muscles. The unhurried southern pace, as opposed to the rat race of New York City, was very apparent even though you didn't specifically stress that aspect. It came through in their conversation, it didn't have any urgency in it and their walk to the Pirate's House seemed to be a leisurely stroll rather than a fast-paced gait to quickly reach a destination. It was excellent when Cash and Dwayne met; the testosterone meter was running on full. Dwayne made sure Cash knew he was a doctor and the head of a department, and Cash couldn't get Paige away from Dwayne fast enough and even asked if he were her boss. That is exactly how men act. The southern aspect came into play again when Cash begged off Paige's invitation to come in with the excuse he had to make sure he made it home safely.
I am truly not an expert but I didn't see anything that needed to be fixed or tweaked.
I liked how you added in your notes at the end that errors in dialogue were intentional - I may steal your idea. I am off now to read your previous chapters because I am intrigued with the possible tunnel under Paige's house and the reference to her ghost.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from fictionwriter
Another wonderful chapter. I like the way they talked and strolled, while Cash filled her in on all the stuff of interest. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
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Another wonderful chapter. I like the way they talked and strolled, while Cash filled her in on all the stuff of interest. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
