Dance Me to the Moon
behind the curtain40 total reviews
Comment from axelbeariter
Determination threatened to take a hike at the doors of the ballroom,/great line----Although I'm a man, I've interacted with a few women (while attending AA for over 30 years) who were so compromised by their loss that they turned to alcohol. For most, it's a long road to acceptance. Your protagonist, though obviously disappointed, handled it well. A well written account about a difficult subject.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Determination threatened to take a hike at the doors of the ballroom,/great line----Although I'm a man, I've interacted with a few women (while attending AA for over 30 years) who were so compromised by their loss that they turned to alcohol. For most, it's a long road to acceptance. Your protagonist, though obviously disappointed, handled it well. A well written account about a difficult subject.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, axelbeariter. I really appreciate your insights into the emotional devastation of mastectomies. In my earlier years of working for a surgeon, they often rushed women into the decisions without regard to the emotional effects. Ironically, when a patient wanted to have weight reduction surgery, they were required to have a consultation with a psychiatrist but not so with mastectomy. Women today have many more options than those poor women did back then. I am truly touched by the depth of your sensitivity to this issue and thank you for sharing it. Also, thank you for your extremely generous rating. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Gungalo
A wonderful poem! It would seem she was more than ready for her encounter. I love how you made things seem so well and the turn of events to the doctor and your friend. Bravo!!
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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A wonderful poem! It would seem she was more than ready for her encounter. I love how you made things seem so well and the turn of events to the doctor and your friend. Bravo!!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Thanks, Gungalo. I saw a lot of women who experienced what Paige did in my years as a surgeon's assistant. So many more options today, thank God. I really appreciate your awesome review, my friend. Warm regards, Bev
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You are so right!!!
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent character development and natural-sounding dialogue that conveys well the emotions and points of view of the characters. You pace the story well, leading up to the reveal, and I love the ending. You've interpreted the contest's missing theme most effectively. Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Excellent character development and natural-sounding dialogue that conveys well the emotions and points of view of the characters. You pace the story well, leading up to the reveal, and I love the ending. You've interpreted the contest's missing theme most effectively. Brooke
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank you so much, Brooke. I hope to learn even more from, eventually, taking your Essay class. You've really made my evening with your lovely support. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Violet Demise
Great story and great ending, it gives hope to people that are in therapy, hope that someday they'll be able to handle life on their own. There's a lot of layers in there and I applaud you for that. Very well written with some brilliant sentences (Stepping outside the pool of clothing at her feet).
Congrats and best wishes,
~Violet~
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Great story and great ending, it gives hope to people that are in therapy, hope that someday they'll be able to handle life on their own. There's a lot of layers in there and I applaud you for that. Very well written with some brilliant sentences (Stepping outside the pool of clothing at her feet).
Congrats and best wishes,
~Violet~
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Hi, Violet. What a lovely review! Your words have lifted my spirits and I so appreciate your generous support. Thanks also for the good wishes! Blessings, Bev
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You are welcome :)
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Oh this was well penned.
I wasn't quite sure what the issue was but it had a bit of suspense as the story went along.
Well written and great flow. I liked your descriptive imagery of Paige looking over her body, accepting and in some form loving who she was.
Great emotion near the end once the surprise was out on what the issue was....Enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
Artwork you chose was fantastic.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Oh this was well penned.
I wasn't quite sure what the issue was but it had a bit of suspense as the story went along.
Well written and great flow. I liked your descriptive imagery of Paige looking over her body, accepting and in some form loving who she was.
Great emotion near the end once the surprise was out on what the issue was....Enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
Artwork you chose was fantastic.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Hi, Maureen. Thank you so much for your awesome review. It's so challenging for me to make Flash Fiction interesting and still stay to a short word count. I'm glad the storyline developed enough for you to be able to enjoy the outcome. Thanks for sharing that insight, my friend. Warmest regards, Bev
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Welcome my friend I loved your story. Good Luck
hugs
Maureen
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Thank so much, lovely lady!
Comment from Jay Squires
Good story, well told. I would like to have seen a little more conflict, perhaps arising out of her inner turmoil about what she would do if Kyle did pursue nighty-night with her. Or better yet if she weakened and let him go home with her. That would have created more drama.
Even without the added conflict, you did have good control of the dialogue which added to the characterization. Your characters played off each other nicely.
A bit too name-droppy. I'm not sure to what end.
But still and all, Bev, it was an enjoyable read.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Jay
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Good story, well told. I would like to have seen a little more conflict, perhaps arising out of her inner turmoil about what she would do if Kyle did pursue nighty-night with her. Or better yet if she weakened and let him go home with her. That would have created more drama.
Even without the added conflict, you did have good control of the dialogue which added to the characterization. Your characters played off each other nicely.
A bit too name-droppy. I'm not sure to what end.
But still and all, Bev, it was an enjoyable read.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Jay
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Hi, Jay. Thanks for sharing your insights. Flash pieces at 500-800 words require a lot of chopping. I tried to show my character was a classy lady - personally, a roll in the hay wasn't how I saw her. Thanks for your thoughts and interest. Warm regards, Bev
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Sorry, I didn't see it was flash, Bev.
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No problem, Jay. Your comments still have merit in my eyes. Thanks for caring...Bev
Comment from rchitwood
Very good story and I really enjoyed reading it.Your story has good emotional images and nice dialogue.It also is very creative and is believable.Blessings Rita
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Very good story and I really enjoyed reading it.Your story has good emotional images and nice dialogue.It also is very creative and is believable.Blessings Rita
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank so much, Rita. I appreciate your excellent review and insights - particularly the part about being believable. That means a lot...Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Enchanted Pen
Great job! You did a good job of keeping suspense. The one thing that I didn't get was the comment about graduating. Did you mean graduating therapy? Aside from that one minor unclarity, it was excellent.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Great job! You did a good job of keeping suspense. The one thing that I didn't get was the comment about graduating. Did you mean graduating therapy? Aside from that one minor unclarity, it was excellent.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Hi, Enchanted Pen. Thank you for your letting me know that the opening line was confusing. I've changed it based on your insight because I think it could be confusing for others as well. Much appreciated! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Bellringer
Bev, I enjoyed reading this excellently crafted story of a woman's search for healing. This lady must have been blessed with wealth; I noted all of the expensive references (that remains a mystery as to how this plays a role in the story). Now, this phone call was interesting. One question: Was Page happy because she got in touch with herself? Blessings, Hector
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Bev, I enjoyed reading this excellently crafted story of a woman's search for healing. This lady must have been blessed with wealth; I noted all of the expensive references (that remains a mystery as to how this plays a role in the story). Now, this phone call was interesting. One question: Was Page happy because she got in touch with herself? Blessings, Hector
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Hi, Hector. Thank you for your time and interest in reading my piece. I wanted to have my character to appear wealthy and yet be 'victimized' as so many poor women are, by the medical profession that often rushes its female patients into making decisions regarding breast cancer quickly without proper thought to the repercussions. And, yes, I did intend the final phone-call to represent a personal victory. Thank you for asking good questions which I hope I have clarified. Were this a novel-type piece, I would have used much more extensive notes. Warmest regards, Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Thanks for answering that question. Regards, Hector
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Brilliant piece of work, Bev. Wow - I didn't see that one coming at all. It made me have a hot flash! I really got drawn into this woman's emotions and then the obstacles that she had to overcome. You did it beautifully - the description, the fear, the delight in her success and the apparent acceptance of her body. Really excellent. You could actually extend this and make a full story of her continuing journey. I wouldn't mind reading more.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Brilliant piece of work, Bev. Wow - I didn't see that one coming at all. It made me have a hot flash! I really got drawn into this woman's emotions and then the obstacles that she had to overcome. You did it beautifully - the description, the fear, the delight in her success and the apparent acceptance of her body. Really excellent. You could actually extend this and make a full story of her continuing journey. I wouldn't mind reading more.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank you so very much, Av. I am stunned by your generosity and wonderful, supportive words. I've had this story inside for years - I used to work for a surgeon and mastectomies, back then, were radical and invasive. I'm so glad that the story was able to say what I often couldn't back then. I'm deeply touched by your generosity, my friend. Warm regards, Bev
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My pleasure :)