To the Fevered Writer Within
Addressed to that other part of me40 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
You never cease to amaze me. I am so pleased I actually have a 6 left to give you. I'm not sure if this is going to come out right but I'll give it a try. Sometimes your poetry overwhelms me and goes way over my head. I find your use of words a true gift and I always look forward to reviewing whatever you write. This is a perfect example of catching me off guard. Personally, I find this quite amazing and beautifully written.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
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You never cease to amaze me. I am so pleased I actually have a 6 left to give you. I'm not sure if this is going to come out right but I'll give it a try. Sometimes your poetry overwhelms me and goes way over my head. I find your use of words a true gift and I always look forward to reviewing whatever you write. This is a perfect example of catching me off guard. Personally, I find this quite amazing and beautifully written.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2010
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You never fail to make me feel utterly capable and ready to face my next writing challenge. That's a real power you have with your reviews. I really appreciate your words, right down to my core.
Mike
Comment from SeLF
I do like your poem. The use of that photo by Shade is inspired.
However, I have a couple of observations: One is the mixing of metaphors in the first two lines of your second verse. Please bear in mind that these observations are subjective, but, to me, "swallows me" conjures an image of aggresion, of devouring someone/something in one gulp. "Night's embrace" suggests something gentle/tender/loving/non-threatening.
The other is your phrase "recluse bought". Does it mean an isolation that came at a high price? Just colour me slightly confused.
Oh, wait a minute, I just noticed that the first word of your last verse, "with" is not capitalized. So, is the reclusion bought with a wealth of words because of the solitary nature of writing? If that's the meaning, shouldn't "reclusion", the state of being isolated, be used instead of "recluse" which means the person living in isolation, because the person who awakes to "regulated thought" is the core personality now, ostensibly in control.
What could confuse a reader, too, is your use of the word "wind" in your last verse because one of it's definitions is "mere empty words; meaningless rhetoric" (Canadian Oxford Dictionary).
My comments are not intended to be hurtful. I just put them out there. You can toss them into file thirteen if you want!
SeLF
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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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I do like your poem. The use of that photo by Shade is inspired.
However, I have a couple of observations: One is the mixing of metaphors in the first two lines of your second verse. Please bear in mind that these observations are subjective, but, to me, "swallows me" conjures an image of aggresion, of devouring someone/something in one gulp. "Night's embrace" suggests something gentle/tender/loving/non-threatening.
The other is your phrase "recluse bought". Does it mean an isolation that came at a high price? Just colour me slightly confused.
Oh, wait a minute, I just noticed that the first word of your last verse, "with" is not capitalized. So, is the reclusion bought with a wealth of words because of the solitary nature of writing? If that's the meaning, shouldn't "reclusion", the state of being isolated, be used instead of "recluse" which means the person living in isolation, because the person who awakes to "regulated thought" is the core personality now, ostensibly in control.
What could confuse a reader, too, is your use of the word "wind" in your last verse because one of it's definitions is "mere empty words; meaningless rhetoric" (Canadian Oxford Dictionary).
My comments are not intended to be hurtful. I just put them out there. You can toss them into file thirteen if you want!
SeLF
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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Hi SeLF. Thanks for taking the time to really read into my poem and pass me back your thoughts on it.
It's very much about contrasts and the varying wills and urges that may dominate one and influence one's actions.
The night was something I wanted to be both threatening (to the part of me that just wants some peace!) and welcoming to the salivating ardour of my overactive imagination. Hence the mixed message, although admittedly it could be seen as confusing.
The recluse - bought through use of words - is me, or another part of me, at least. It's the bit of me that wants solitude and balance, but is only found when the screaming's done, or at least the self expression! This is part of the running theme of my various parts vying for dominance.
I would never have used 'wind' for that meaning, but if it's a common one then I shall certainly think about changing it!
Thank you for bringing these thoughts to my attention. I'll probably be making a couple of small adjustments as a result.
Mike
Comment from Valkarie
An excellent piece of prose here which flows so well is concise and most visual. Your poem is a little on the dark side as this person seems to own you in the night, and your descriptions of this are truly mind blowing. The complexity of this piece is impressive and leads the reader on to the intriguing word flow created here and the emotions the emanate from this piece. A very well written poem, well structured and thought out.
Valkarie...
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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An excellent piece of prose here which flows so well is concise and most visual. Your poem is a little on the dark side as this person seems to own you in the night, and your descriptions of this are truly mind blowing. The complexity of this piece is impressive and leads the reader on to the intriguing word flow created here and the emotions the emanate from this piece. A very well written poem, well structured and thought out.
Valkarie...
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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Ah yes, those madly creative, passionate thoughts do seem to come out at night, rampant in my dreams. Thank you, Valk, for a fantastic review. I'm so glad you liked it.
Mike
Comment from Sally Carter
What a very effective poem! Very hard to capture that mixed curse/blessing, but you have done it superbly.
Great meter throughout, and some wonderful phrases -
alchemy that wears iambic face - wow
And I specially loved the whole of the final stanza.
A great pleasure to read this one.
Sally
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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What a very effective poem! Very hard to capture that mixed curse/blessing, but you have done it superbly.
Great meter throughout, and some wonderful phrases -
alchemy that wears iambic face - wow
And I specially loved the whole of the final stanza.
A great pleasure to read this one.
Sally
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Sally. I'm so glad you liked it! After my recent poem about my muse, this has been slowly putting itself together in the back of my mind.
Mike
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Mike:)
Interesting how writers can twist and mold obscure and fragmentary thoughts of dreams into excellent cadence and strong abab rhyming. Even nightmares in a writer's mind can be contorted into coherent words with beauty and flow.
Heed your dreams and nightmares. Never interrupt the wretched stream until its course is run into pool of crystal clear coherent thought. Then tell the world as good writers do.
Thank you for stirring my muse.
Roger
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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Hi Mike:)
Interesting how writers can twist and mold obscure and fragmentary thoughts of dreams into excellent cadence and strong abab rhyming. Even nightmares in a writer's mind can be contorted into coherent words with beauty and flow.
Heed your dreams and nightmares. Never interrupt the wretched stream until its course is run into pool of crystal clear coherent thought. Then tell the world as good writers do.
Thank you for stirring my muse.
Roger
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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You get me entirely, and fill my mind with thoughts sublime of words divine (is that a sign?) that bash against my windows from within, a hive of bees that suffer from chagrin whenever I am absent from a pen ...
Mike ;-)
Comment from DrJane
This poem is a testament to the dichotomy which resides within all writers: we find ourselves both tortured and exhilarated by writing. Very well done. Artwork is a perfect match.
Blessings,
Jane
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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This poem is a testament to the dichotomy which resides within all writers: we find ourselves both tortured and exhilarated by writing. Very well done. Artwork is a perfect match.
Blessings,
Jane
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Jane. You are of course spot on (not that I hid the meaning!). It is a sharp-handled tool us creative types choose to wield. Im so glad you took the time to review :-)
Mike
Comment from ~Dovey
This is a great poem, Mike. The picture you chose is hilarious. :) You have excellent use of metaphor and very well chosen words. I really enjoyed the spirit of the poem as well as the poem itself. :)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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This is a great poem, Mike. The picture you chose is hilarious. :) You have excellent use of metaphor and very well chosen words. I really enjoyed the spirit of the poem as well as the poem itself. :)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Dovey :-). I recently wrote a poem about my muse, and this one's been lurking somewhere in my subconscious ever since. This urge to write can be the most debilitating and the most wonderful thing in the world!
Mike
Comment from bhogg
I hope those thoughts keep coming to you if they lead to excellent work like this. I loved your mind filled with alchemy that wears an iambic face. It also sounded a little that some of those midnight inspirations pale a bit by the time you wake up.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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I hope those thoughts keep coming to you if they lead to excellent work like this. I loved your mind filled with alchemy that wears an iambic face. It also sounded a little that some of those midnight inspirations pale a bit by the time you wake up.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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Thank you, bhogg :-). You've touched on both sides of my intentions with this piece; those marvellous inspirations that tease us when we're in no position to take note of them, and the incessant need to keep expressing, even to the point of frustration and being drained, all balanced against that amazing feeling when you pen a phrase, read it back, and think "yes; that's exactly what I meant!"
Mike
Comment from adewpearl
thoughts that fill a poet's mind with alchemy that wears iambic face - MIke, I was hoping all your reviews today meant you were earning money to post something, and this poem is not disappointing me at all!!!
nightmares in verse, wealths of words - I hope this midnight visitor visits you often, my friend, if this is what is produced as a result :-)
excellent cadence, strong abab rhyming - may these thoughts always riddle you :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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thoughts that fill a poet's mind with alchemy that wears iambic face - MIke, I was hoping all your reviews today meant you were earning money to post something, and this poem is not disappointing me at all!!!
nightmares in verse, wealths of words - I hope this midnight visitor visits you often, my friend, if this is what is produced as a result :-)
excellent cadence, strong abab rhyming - may these thoughts always riddle you :-) Brooke
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Brooke :-). I was actually reviewing so I could re-promote an earlier poem, but I had some time on my hands and reading all the other work was seriously making me want to write one! This was the result. I seem to be introspective today...
Mike
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If you're repromoting the one up for poem of the month, I already voted for it. You can save your money on me. LOL
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Well, now I'm blushing :-). I do think it's a courtesy, when nominated, to promote. That way the other nominees get some recompense for reading your work when deciding how to vote. Or am I the only one that reads the competition first? lol :-).
I expect it's not an issue for you, Dear Brooke, since I think you must review every poem posted before any nominations occur!
Mike :-)
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I had already read and reviewed all but three of them this time, so it did not take long to read the rest and know yours was still the best. LOL It's one I wanted to give you a six for but could not, so this makes up for that a little :-) Since people can't vote for themselves, I suppose they read the others first. LOL
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a nice place that tries to express some of those complex thoughts that dwell right inside each one of us, especially the writer. Very well done
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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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This is a nice place that tries to express some of those complex thoughts that dwell right inside each one of us, especially the writer. Very well done
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2010
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Thank you, PI :-). I've found myself examining my own creative process recently, and the rocky, twisted roads our creative minds inevitably take to reach each small semblance of realisation and insight. It makes for some fun poetry.
Mike
