A Lasting Peace Without the Tears
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "[The longest] Poem for World Peace"Simply my feelings towards a lasting one.
31 total reviews
Comment from Tsar
Well written,
I feel the rhyme is not perfect in the first 2 lines, reigns and pain are close but not perfect.
I pray that world peace reigns;
even while evil causes so much pain.
My suggestion:
I pray that world peace will reign
even while evil causes so much pain.
Other than that, a very nice read with a sentiment and message no one can argue with.
Don
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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2007
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Well written,
I feel the rhyme is not perfect in the first 2 lines, reigns and pain are close but not perfect.
I pray that world peace reigns;
even while evil causes so much pain.
My suggestion:
I pray that world peace will reign
even while evil causes so much pain.
Other than that, a very nice read with a sentiment and message no one can argue with.
Don
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2007
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2007
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I see your point, but wanted to keep the thoughts of peace in the present, not the future. Thank you for your review and kind words.
