Death from Despair
Denise you be in total Peace25 total reviews
Comment from bhogg
Very nice post to address the issue of sadness. I too have not been with loved ones in their time of passing. I did find your first stanza a bit awkward. Souls that are burdened perhaps, rather than burden. Also, a bit of an echo with 'cracks', used three times in four lines. Well done, good luck in your contest. Bill
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
Very nice post to address the issue of sadness. I too have not been with loved ones in their time of passing. I did find your first stanza a bit awkward. Souls that are burdened perhaps, rather than burden. Also, a bit of an echo with 'cracks', used three times in four lines. Well done, good luck in your contest. Bill
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
-
Yes of course how silly of me
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A beautiful offering of free verse appeal for a departed friend... Certainly qualifies as a 'good' entry for the contest on subject matter. Best of luck at the polls! ;)
my heartache. --> [did you mean...?] my heart ache. {each time it appears...}
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
A beautiful offering of free verse appeal for a departed friend... Certainly qualifies as a 'good' entry for the contest on subject matter. Best of luck at the polls! ;)
my heartache. --> [did you mean...?] my heart ache. {each time it appears...}
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
-
Yvette, yea of course thank you so much!
Comment from Mary Vigasin
First sorry for the loss of your friend.
Your poem is a fitting tribute and story of a life lost.
It also is asking for her to rest in peace and be surrounded by love.
The words you used makes your reader be aware of the suffering of others and help them find peace but for you to find peace after not being able to be there at the time. Your poem frees you of any guilt you feel.
Well done Rest in Peace Denise.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
First sorry for the loss of your friend.
Your poem is a fitting tribute and story of a life lost.
It also is asking for her to rest in peace and be surrounded by love.
The words you used makes your reader be aware of the suffering of others and help them find peace but for you to find peace after not being able to be there at the time. Your poem frees you of any guilt you feel.
Well done Rest in Peace Denise.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
-
MAry, thank you for these words.
Comment from Supe
This is beautifully done and such a tribute to Denise who has gone way too soon. This pulls at your heart strings and must have been difficult to share. You did a good job and I wish you luck in the contest. A great contender. This is indeed 'sad'.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
This is beautifully done and such a tribute to Denise who has gone way too soon. This pulls at your heart strings and must have been difficult to share. You did a good job and I wish you luck in the contest. A great contender. This is indeed 'sad'.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
-
Supe, thank you for the kind words.
-
you are welcome.
Comment from Earl Corp
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, I know this had to be hard to write. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy. Shouldn't burden be burdened?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, I know this had to be hard to write. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy. Shouldn't burden be burdened?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
-
Earl , yes and I edited and I am grateful thanks