Lights Out
(bill paid: no fair!) Deathbed revelations33 total reviews
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
Wow, this is powerful! Even though it says, Curtain Open, at the top I didn't catch that this was a play. That's just me.
I found myself totally engrossed and wondered if this had happened to a family member or friend. Who it was and whether it is fact or fiction is of no consequence. Just saying how real and well-done your piece is.
The main character is so brave, strong, afraid, strong, brave, afraid. I would like to know her...maybe when it's my time I'd like to be her. I, myself, have had scary, real, surprisingly informative sessions with psychics.
Fantastic job.
"double cookies with every throw" is a great line
"So, Earthling..." is also a good line. Like I said, I wish I knew her. If I could give you six stars, I would.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Wow, this is powerful! Even though it says, Curtain Open, at the top I didn't catch that this was a play. That's just me.
I found myself totally engrossed and wondered if this had happened to a family member or friend. Who it was and whether it is fact or fiction is of no consequence. Just saying how real and well-done your piece is.
The main character is so brave, strong, afraid, strong, brave, afraid. I would like to know her...maybe when it's my time I'd like to be her. I, myself, have had scary, real, surprisingly informative sessions with psychics.
Fantastic job.
"double cookies with every throw" is a great line
"So, Earthling..." is also a good line. Like I said, I wish I knew her. If I could give you six stars, I would.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you Cynthia. I am awed by your praise and appreciate your engaging with the character to such an extent. As for the six--it's the thought that countssssss. Stop by anytime.Cheerssssss. LIZ
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Cheers
Comment from estory
There's plenty of humor strung through this narrative, and you play around with notions of whether life was worth it, what the final results of relationships are, but that ending was actually quite despairing, the light passing the dying lady by. It starts opening up around her, raising her hopes, but then it fades, leaving her with nothing. It really undermines all the humor, all the hope of life and personality. A satyrical comment on the philosophies of life, there's more depth to this than first appears. estory
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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There's plenty of humor strung through this narrative, and you play around with notions of whether life was worth it, what the final results of relationships are, but that ending was actually quite despairing, the light passing the dying lady by. It starts opening up around her, raising her hopes, but then it fades, leaving her with nothing. It really undermines all the humor, all the hope of life and personality. A satyrical comment on the philosophies of life, there's more depth to this than first appears. estory
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2020
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Thank you for yet another installment in eloquence. You clearly take the time to ponder--much appreciated.
Comment from lyenochka
So is the recorded part done before she died or as she was dying? I know you have your doubts about faith in general, but I do believe in God and His promises. To not believe is so depressing. When I was a teen, I said that I didn't believe, and then I really didn't want to live anymore because there was no point. As weak as an argument that is, that was my journey of faith. Then I went to a college that was mostly atheistic with a small ragamuffin group of Christians, each one with our own personal problems. But because we were persecuted for being Christians, I had to really consider why I believed and read and study. Then I transferred to a HUGE university where there were all kinds of cults from the Moonies, the Tibetan monks, various "Christian" cults (The Local Church was one) and then I had to systematically understand what is it I didn't believe to refine my faith. So that's my story. What's yours? You seem to have some Christian background.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
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So is the recorded part done before she died or as she was dying? I know you have your doubts about faith in general, but I do believe in God and His promises. To not believe is so depressing. When I was a teen, I said that I didn't believe, and then I really didn't want to live anymore because there was no point. As weak as an argument that is, that was my journey of faith. Then I went to a college that was mostly atheistic with a small ragamuffin group of Christians, each one with our own personal problems. But because we were persecuted for being Christians, I had to really consider why I believed and read and study. Then I transferred to a HUGE university where there were all kinds of cults from the Moonies, the Tibetan monks, various "Christian" cults (The Local Church was one) and then I had to systematically understand what is it I didn't believe to refine my faith. So that's my story. What's yours? You seem to have some Christian background.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
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The recorded part is as she lay dying, final throes, couldn't have her being chatty in that condition.
As always, Helen, I appreciate your thoughtful and thought-provoking comments. I think you read all of my pieces on the faith theme, starting with the autobiographical Holy Terror--which sums up my stance. No Christian background; parents nominally Jewish--I've never identified with any religion--Bottom line: I refuse to worship God because I believe God is evil (if he exits; hoping not). Please understand that I mean no disrespect--I only say this because you asked--probably sorry you did.
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No apologies to me. And God can handle lots of things. He still loves you! 💖
Comment from royowen
I would never make a judgement, I thought it was actually you at first I thought it was you. But this is not going to rattle me, nor I suspect anyone, Faith is not negotiable, and writing is writing, it won't change the event in the end, I admire you Liz, you're unique and you play those cards with passion. Well done, loved this episode, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
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I would never make a judgement, I thought it was actually you at first I thought it was you. But this is not going to rattle me, nor I suspect anyone, Faith is not negotiable, and writing is writing, it won't change the event in the end, I admire you Liz, you're unique and you play those cards with passion. Well done, loved this episode, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
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Thanks for indulging yet another of my twisted thought experiments, Roy. Cheers. LIZ
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well done
Comment from BethShelby
Interesting writing. It is a very morbid theme but I guess my last poem was on the morbid side as well. I too was dealing with death as a child. I thought it was amusing how she decided the psychic was telling the truth because she through out a bunch of letters.
reply by the author on 09-May-2020
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Interesting writing. It is a very morbid theme but I guess my last poem was on the morbid side as well. I too was dealing with death as a child. I thought it was amusing how she decided the psychic was telling the truth because she through out a bunch of letters.
Comment Written 08-May-2020
reply by the author on 09-May-2020
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I'm so glad you read this, Beth. I've been frustrated by paltry returns on (re)promotion efforts in general, and on this piece in particular. Yours is only my second review this time around. Funny that you mention being amused by the psychic/letters. Spitfire said the same; two other reviewers were particularly put off by that bit. I guess I must declare a mistrial for that part of the script (as for the "psychic": guilty of fraud). Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Margaret Bednar
Well... it will leave many unsettled, that is for sure. We are a theatre family (my children are actors, set designers, artists, musicians, poets, singers, writers .... I have six talented children) and we are (in this quarantine time) making a horror film... all are involved. Anyway, back to your script - I figured it would have a twist and it did! I can't help but like the character - her honesty, her strength to her word, her humor ... The psychic works for me but maybe it's the dialogue - the letters kind of stop it up for me - maybe revisit that. ?
reply by the author on 07-May-2020
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Well... it will leave many unsettled, that is for sure. We are a theatre family (my children are actors, set designers, artists, musicians, poets, singers, writers .... I have six talented children) and we are (in this quarantine time) making a horror film... all are involved. Anyway, back to your script - I figured it would have a twist and it did! I can't help but like the character - her honesty, her strength to her word, her humor ... The psychic works for me but maybe it's the dialogue - the letters kind of stop it up for me - maybe revisit that. ?
Comment Written 07-May-2020
reply by the author on 07-May-2020
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Thank you Margaret! This is a repromotion from two months ago. One reviewer didn't care for the psychic stuff at all; another particularly loved the letters. Go figure! I very much appreciate your thoughtful remarks--good luck on your film! Cheers. LIZ
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a well written script. It interesting subject to think about.
Many people do not understand the Godhead. The simplest explanation is to compare it with time. Time is composed of hours, minutes, and seconds but they are all called time. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are called God. As with time, each in the Godhead is different, but the same God.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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This is a well written script. It interesting subject to think about.
Many people do not understand the Godhead. The simplest explanation is to compare it with time. Time is composed of hours, minutes, and seconds but they are all called time. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are called God. As with time, each in the Godhead is different, but the same God.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Hello again. Glad you liked the script in spite of its atheistic theme. You give a good analogy of God vs Time--did you come up with it? Many find the concept of the Godhead abstruse; this may deliver them from their confusion! Cheers. LIZ
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I was taught that as a child--third grade, if I remember right.
Comment from humpwhistle
I like the minimal stage direction, though, it does become tricky toward the end. Many on FS write far too much stage direction--as if Directors serve no purpose.
I'm not a fan of the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday approach. Far too heavy handed, I think. Some more subtle approach should be considered to indicate the passage of time.
Clearly, these are just my opinions.
The monologue itself is well-written and believable.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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I like the minimal stage direction, though, it does become tricky toward the end. Many on FS write far too much stage direction--as if Directors serve no purpose.
I'm not a fan of the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday approach. Far too heavy handed, I think. Some more subtle approach should be considered to indicate the passage of time.
Clearly, these are just my opinions.
The monologue itself is well-written and believable.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 25-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you Lee. Yeah--the MTW stuff--I kinda tossed that out as an afterthought to pacify the heavy-handed contingent! I'm all for subtlety. Pleased that you found the monologue credible. Cheers. LIZ
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Update on my response-- I took out the MTW stuff per your input and instead suggested subtle lighting shifts to indicate gradual progression of day to night...etc. I just repromoted this script. Thanks again for your wise advice. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Drew Delaney
I am a Christian but I don't take offence here. This is fiction after all. I thought this to be excellently written. It kept me interested until the end. You are a super writer. Well done!
Drew xx
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020
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I am a Christian but I don't take offence here. This is fiction after all. I thought this to be excellently written. It kept me interested until the end. You are a super writer. Well done!
Drew xx
Comment Written 16-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020
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Thank you Drew! Indeed, this can't be anything but fictional. I must say, the Christians on this site have been overwhelmingly gracious to me, despite my controversial pieces (per the footnotes). I have long suffered religious torment--it's inspired a lot stories, that's for sure. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. If you care to, kindly read my other reviews on this piece--two of which make special mention of the psychic stuff. One found it distracting, the other enjoyed it. I invite you to be the tie-breaker in whether it goes or stays! (seriously, no pressure intended--being a tad facetious.) Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Gloria ....
I found this very interesting, LIZ. It's fluent and voluble and mixed some great humour, I'm thinking particularly about the psychic with the squinting eyes finding just the right letters for the names.
I also found the recording of the third segment an inspired idea and the death rattle presented as a snake gives excellent foreshadowing.
I think it would be a powerful one woman show.
Great script.
Gloria
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020
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I found this very interesting, LIZ. It's fluent and voluble and mixed some great humour, I'm thinking particularly about the psychic with the squinting eyes finding just the right letters for the names.
I also found the recording of the third segment an inspired idea and the death rattle presented as a snake gives excellent foreshadowing.
I think it would be a powerful one woman show.
Great script.
Gloria
Comment Written 15-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much, Gloria. I'm in a bit of a quandary re this script now that you've chimed in. The psychic bit that so amused you put another reviewer off. (See his review and my response.) I guess I'll have to find a tie-breaker to decide the psychic's fate! I abhor them in general, but I'd like to keep this one if so decreed. Cheers. LIZ
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I thought it fit the tone of the script perfectly and didn't feel out of place at all. :)
