Haiku ( a fierce thunderstorm)
contest entry53 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent haiku, pharp
I like how you point how that the pulverizing hail stones has a ground breaking sound, all from a fierce thunderstorm.
The best to you in this contest.
Gert
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Excellent haiku, pharp
I like how you point how that the pulverizing hail stones has a ground breaking sound, all from a fierce thunderstorm.
The best to you in this contest.
Gert
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Gert,
Thanks so much for pointing out that info to me(smiles)
I really appreciate you review, comments and best wishes.
Blessings...Portia
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You are welcome pharp
Gert
Comment from June Sargent
Great example of a haiku with strong imagery presented in a few short lines. Fierce, pulverizing and groundbreaking were perfect word voices. Well done.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Great example of a haiku with strong imagery presented in a few short lines. Fierce, pulverizing and groundbreaking were perfect word voices. Well done.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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June,
Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Boogienights
This poem and image is exciting to me, as I love thunderstorms. Not to be out in them, but to listen from a warm cozy place. My mom used to say that the thunder was God and the Devil rolling barrels back and forth at each other. Lol. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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This poem and image is exciting to me, as I love thunderstorms. Not to be out in them, but to listen from a warm cozy place. My mom used to say that the thunder was God and the Devil rolling barrels back and forth at each other. Lol. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. I too can remember when mama would say the thunder was God and the devil was rolling back and forth or something close to this saying.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I like this Pharp. You've described beautifully the destructive power and might of a thunderstorm. That hail not only breaks up ground, it shatters windshield and so many other things. I like what you've presented here and enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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I like this Pharp. You've described beautifully the destructive power and might of a thunderstorm. That hail not only breaks up ground, it shatters windshield and so many other things. I like what you've presented here and enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Jeffrey,
Thanks so much for your review and very kind, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Susan Larson
Your picture is perfect. Your poem is poignant. Am I reading too much into this when I see tragedy of any kind pouring down upon us, yet being a groundbreaking lead in for something better?
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Your picture is perfect. Your poem is poignant. Am I reading too much into this when I see tragedy of any kind pouring down upon us, yet being a groundbreaking lead in for something better?
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Susan,
Thanks so much for your review and very kind comment, they are greatly appreciated.
Susan, I too see so much tragedy raining down upon mankind, all we can do is pray and be watchful.
Blessings...Portia
Blessings...Portia
Comment from royowen
At the moment our state has received very little rain, so you don't know how divine your poem and artwork feels and looks like at the moment. So well done Portia, an excellent entry in this contest, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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At the moment our state has received very little rain, so you don't know how divine your poem and artwork feels and looks like at the moment. So well done Portia, an excellent entry in this contest, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Roy
Thanks so much for your review, very kind comments and best wishes, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
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Welcome
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
We've been having just that sort of rain here, this last week! Floods, car windows smashed from hailstones, armageddon has started! :(
This is a really well written Haiku, the description of the storm is spot on! Well done and good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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We've been having just that sort of rain here, this last week! Floods, car windows smashed from hailstones, armageddon has started! :(
This is a really well written Haiku, the description of the storm is spot on! Well done and good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Sandra,
Thanks so much for your review, very kind comments and best wishes, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from rspoet
Hello Pharp,
You've written a wonderful haiku with all the elements--
marvelous imagery of nature, excellent grammatical connection in lines one and two, and an expanding satori line.
Thunderstorm is a good season reference (kigo)
The 5-7-5 form may appeal to the judges, but I think your original one word satori was more powerful.
The tilde is a good modern cutting symbol (kireji), but the em dash (--) is more usual in traditional haiku. It is always the poets choice. :)
This should do very well in the contest.
Best wishes to you.
Robert
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Hello Pharp,
You've written a wonderful haiku with all the elements--
marvelous imagery of nature, excellent grammatical connection in lines one and two, and an expanding satori line.
Thunderstorm is a good season reference (kigo)
The 5-7-5 form may appeal to the judges, but I think your original one word satori was more powerful.
The tilde is a good modern cutting symbol (kireji), but the em dash (--) is more usual in traditional haiku. It is always the poets choice. :)
This should do very well in the contest.
Best wishes to you.
Robert
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Robert,
Thanks so much for such an outstanding review, six star rating and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. After reading this haiku over again and asking my grandson, he agreed I should have left it as it was. So "groundbreaking" it is. I really appreciate your input.
Blessings...Portia
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You are most welcome. I hope you win.
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You are so kind.
Thank you...
Comment from MamaBebop
Portia,
Happy Gal-entine's Day my dear friend. I think you have made tremendous use of a word we don't typically associate with weather, but it is a perfect fit with hail. "Groundbreaking" is a vividly descriptive and perfect alias for hail. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Blessings,
Beth
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Portia,
Happy Gal-entine's Day my dear friend. I think you have made tremendous use of a word we don't typically associate with weather, but it is a perfect fit with hail. "Groundbreaking" is a vividly descriptive and perfect alias for hail. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Blessings,
Beth
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Hello Sweet Beth,
Today is just about over, I pray you had a wonderful Gal-entine's day, and I like this name you gave given it.
Thanks so much for your review, very kind comments and best wishes they mean a lot.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Gail Denham
Oh my - your poem brings to mind some of the tremendous t-storms we've had around here. One the night before my sis's wedding we wondered if the roof would fall - and another when we were out camping - the men dug ditches to divert the water - we women ducked from tree to tree with lightning chasing us.
Your poem reminds me...
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Oh my - your poem brings to mind some of the tremendous t-storms we've had around here. One the night before my sis's wedding we wondered if the roof would fall - and another when we were out camping - the men dug ditches to divert the water - we women ducked from tree to tree with lightning chasing us.
Your poem reminds me...
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia