The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 104 "A Game of Chicken"A Novel
25 total reviews
Comment from J.T. Blossom
Coming into this in the middle, of course, is difficult for a reader, but it is clear to me that you have spent considerable time polishing and editing this. For that reason, I don't mind suggesting that you change the "They both remained silent..." line to just simply, "They were silent." We can figure out they were listening and absorbing. It would be more dramatic. For the same reason, I would cut the "fighting back emotion" line too. Just the image of her staring out the back window is enough for us to figure it out. I love how you worked in the wind details blowing the clothing, and the bit with the chicken adds a good human touch amidst all the underlying intrigue. You have a smooth, thoughtful writing style. Good luck with the remaining chapters!
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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Coming into this in the middle, of course, is difficult for a reader, but it is clear to me that you have spent considerable time polishing and editing this. For that reason, I don't mind suggesting that you change the "They both remained silent..." line to just simply, "They were silent." We can figure out they were listening and absorbing. It would be more dramatic. For the same reason, I would cut the "fighting back emotion" line too. Just the image of her staring out the back window is enough for us to figure it out. I love how you worked in the wind details blowing the clothing, and the bit with the chicken adds a good human touch amidst all the underlying intrigue. You have a smooth, thoughtful writing style. Good luck with the remaining chapters!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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Very kind of you to drop by to review this chapter, J.T. I appreciate your suggestions and agree with them. I've made appropriate changes. A case of less being more. Wishing you a very happy Christmas. All the best, Tony
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Glad my observations were helpful. You are a talented writer. I have a novel I just released on Amazon called "Lenore and the Problem With Love," and I went through many similar revisions for parsimony. I'm sure there are still things I could have written better, but we do the best we can, don't we?
Comment from Mistydawn
The tension rises, causing them to argue among themselves, not good. I do hope they put their differences aside for the sake of the mission. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting, realistic. I love how you slyly continued to leave us wondering about Ash's news. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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The tension rises, causing them to argue among themselves, not good. I do hope they put their differences aside for the sake of the mission. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting, realistic. I love how you slyly continued to leave us wondering about Ash's news. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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Thanks for your review, Misty. Appreciated, as always. Glad you are still enjoying the story. All good wishes for Christmas, Tony.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Sounds like progress is facing some obstacles in the way of windy turbulence on board the plane. I thought that part sounded realistic, although I don't have much flying experience. In this line: The plane was rising and falling like flotsam in a rough sea and it was slewed at an angle to the runway to compensate for the wind drift.
I thought it was well-written content-wise, but I would put a comma right after the word 'sea.' Fun read.
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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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Sounds like progress is facing some obstacles in the way of windy turbulence on board the plane. I thought that part sounded realistic, although I don't have much flying experience. In this line: The plane was rising and falling like flotsam in a rough sea and it was slewed at an angle to the runway to compensate for the wind drift.
I thought it was well-written content-wise, but I would put a comma right after the word 'sea.' Fun read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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Thanks for your review, Cookie. I appreciate the spag catch. All good wishes for Christmas, Tony.
Comment from Pantygynt
It is good to hear an original piece of humour. 'More bumps on me than a Jerusalem artichoke' was a new one for me and a very appropriate one into the bargain.
I love the description of the hairy crosswind landing, i have seen a few of those at Dhala up country from Aden town. That was a very accurate piece of writing, but then you were RAF of course.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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It is good to hear an original piece of humour. 'More bumps on me than a Jerusalem artichoke' was a new one for me and a very appropriate one into the bargain.
I love the description of the hairy crosswind landing, i have seen a few of those at Dhala up country from Aden town. That was a very accurate piece of writing, but then you were RAF of course.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Jim. I appreciate both the review and the sixth star. Yes, I've seen quite a few landings like that, some without the excuse of bad weather. I hope you have an enjoyable Christmas. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from LeannaP
I haven't gone back and read the chapters before this one butafter reading this chapter, I might have to go back. You write well. Thank you for sharing.
My favorite line,"I looked up to see a small flock of chickens scatter out of the way of the oncoming car." I like how you keep readers engaged and glued to figure out what will happen next. Nice work!
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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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I haven't gone back and read the chapters before this one butafter reading this chapter, I might have to go back. You write well. Thank you for sharing.
My favorite line,"I looked up to see a small flock of chickens scatter out of the way of the oncoming car." I like how you keep readers engaged and glued to figure out what will happen next. Nice work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
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I very much appreciate your supportive comments. Leanna. Most affirming. Best wishes, Tony
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You're welcome
