Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Late to the Wake"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
36 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
How difficult to use random nouns in a contest entry. I see you did it, though, with quite a lot of irony and humor here, although of course it feels like it should be a serious subject. It reminds me of the an old vintage poem about a man saying when he died that if someone were to come to his coffin and return the money he owed the dead man, that the dead man would sit up then and there, dead or not, to collect the money, then fall back down again. Kudos on keeping the reader's interest from beginning to end! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
  |
How difficult to use random nouns in a contest entry. I see you did it, though, with quite a lot of irony and humor here, although of course it feels like it should be a serious subject. It reminds me of the an old vintage poem about a man saying when he died that if someone were to come to his coffin and return the money he owed the dead man, that the dead man would sit up then and there, dead or not, to collect the money, then fall back down again. Kudos on keeping the reader's interest from beginning to end! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
-
My sincere thank you, this is out of my normal wheelhouse. However, it was fun to stretch the boundaries of comfort and have some fun.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
All my life I've heard the expression that so-n-so would be late for her own funeral. Your ultra-concise story conveys this theme quite well.
Late bill--clever
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
|
All my life I've heard the expression that so-n-so would be late for her own funeral. Your ultra-concise story conveys this theme quite well.
Late bill--clever
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
-
Thank you, it was fun to stretch outside my comfort zone with this.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Your story meets all of the contest criteria. This is very good. It makes a great contest submission and should do very well in the voting booth. Contests on FanStory are difficult to win, but you may do it.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
|
Your story meets all of the contest criteria. This is very good. It makes a great contest submission and should do very well in the voting booth. Contests on FanStory are difficult to win, but you may do it.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
-
Thank you very much, just the love of writing and sharing and getting feedback is invaluable.
Comment from Ulla
Hi there. This is a great entry. I only have one suggestion:
The fantastic thing about this event that was set to begin is it was the day of my wake! = The most remarkable thing about this event soon to begin is that it was the day of my wake! I just think it might read a bit clearer. It still has the same word count.
Good luck in the conrest. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
|
Hi there. This is a great entry. I only have one suggestion:
The fantastic thing about this event that was set to begin is it was the day of my wake! = The most remarkable thing about this event soon to begin is that it was the day of my wake! I just think it might read a bit clearer. It still has the same word count.
Good luck in the conrest. Ulla:))
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
-
Ulla, my profound thank you. I welcome your comments with action rendered.
Comment from Sanku
This is quite interesting .the non payment of the telephone bill saved him from attending this day of wake.
The number count is correct and all the best.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
|
This is quite interesting .the non payment of the telephone bill saved him from attending this day of wake.
The number count is correct and all the best.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
-
Thanks we shall what happens, it was fun be be a bit whimsical with this opportunity.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Haha! What an excellent funny story! I love how you wrote from the decedents perception! Very well written also - no errors that I could find! Great sense of humor you have! xoxo
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
|
Haha! What an excellent funny story! I love how you wrote from the decedents perception! Very well written also - no errors that I could find! Great sense of humor you have! xoxo
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
-
Thank you so much, this was outside my normal writing comfort zone, and it was fun..
-
Very welcome and you should try this zone more often!
Comment from Coco Jane
Funny story! Great idea of missing one's own funeral.
In paragraph 3, you need to say "...begin is THAT it WAS the day..." This will make it flow more clearly.
I like the ending.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
|
Funny story! Great idea of missing one's own funeral.
In paragraph 3, you need to say "...begin is THAT it WAS the day..." This will make it flow more clearly.
I like the ending.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
-
Of course..l thank you so much!
Comment from Winslow
Dear Writer,
Who knew that the phone company could stop your service even on the other side? Too bad but one question I have is your home where your soul will rest for eternity?
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers,
Winslow
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
|
Dear Writer,
Who knew that the phone company could stop your service even on the other side? Too bad but one question I have is your home where your soul will rest for eternity?
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers,
Winslow
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
-
Oh my goodness, I certainly don?t want to spend any precious time residing soulfully in my home...I would much rather prefer to soar with the other angels :)
Comment from Gail Denham
What a strange story - but you keep it to the word count. So your soul was to be selected for the wake -- or not? We will face judgement after death - we're told that - what did we do with what God gave us. The first thing of course is to accept Jesus as Saviour, forgiveness of sin. Thank Him so much for His sacrifice. Then it won't matter if you don't pay your phone bill - my opinion.
Good writing.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
|
What a strange story - but you keep it to the word count. So your soul was to be selected for the wake -- or not? We will face judgement after death - we're told that - what did we do with what God gave us. The first thing of course is to accept Jesus as Saviour, forgiveness of sin. Thank Him so much for His sacrifice. Then it won't matter if you don't pay your phone bill - my opinion.
Good writing.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
-
My friend, this is a totally fictional characterization, manifest only as a short story to cause one to pause and think about all the possibilities. I do have the strong knowledge that my soul has already been accepted into the next life by the result of my Saviors death and resurrection. I will let my estate settle all my earthly debts at that time, thank you so much for your wonderful insight! Prayers to you....
-
My friend, this is a totally fictional characterization, manifest only as a short story to cause one to pause and think about all the possibilities. I do have the strong knowledge that my soul has already been accepted into the next life by the result of my Saviors death and resurrection. I will let my estate settle all my earthly debts at that time, thank you so much for your wonderful insight! Prayers to you....
-
Glad to know you're secure in your faith - I'm noticing many people on FAnstory have a strong faith. It's encouraging. Thanks for prayers too. God hears us.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written hundred word story about being late that becomes a habit that we cannot break even if we like to. It is our nature to always be late we will be late for every important event in our lives.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
|
A very well-written hundred word story about being late that becomes a habit that we cannot break even if we like to. It is our nature to always be late we will be late for every important event in our lives.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
-
thank you for your review and comments.