Goodbyes
She has one more goodbye32 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Your writing style here is delicate and understated...reminiscent of my favorite poet, Emily Dickinson. Like her, as well, you explore the loss of someone in a way gently mixed with nature--a sort of underpinning of hope that comes alive each spring. Finessed and eloquent. Very impressive!
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Your writing style here is delicate and understated...reminiscent of my favorite poet, Emily Dickinson. Like her, as well, you explore the loss of someone in a way gently mixed with nature--a sort of underpinning of hope that comes alive each spring. Finessed and eloquent. Very impressive!
Karenina
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Oh Karenina, what a beautiful
Note to have read just now. Bless you and thank you. Lo
Comment from Artasylum
Hey... I've been here only since April... I joined years ago but just returned. I'm happy I've found you here. This is truly a precious poem... You start with a last remembering... bringing us to her deep despair bring us with her and she learns and I think feels grateful for the knowing that she has a place to put her pain... nice. yours, diana
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Hey... I've been here only since April... I joined years ago but just returned. I'm happy I've found you here. This is truly a precious poem... You start with a last remembering... bringing us to her deep despair bring us with her and she learns and I think feels grateful for the knowing that she has a place to put her pain... nice. yours, diana
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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I?m so glad you are here, too!
Thank you for such warm words! Blessings, Lo
Comment from Mark Valentine
This one captures two subtle but profound phenomenon that anyone who has ever lost someone will relate to: the phenomenon of associating a place, a smell, a song, with that person and using that to draw near to the loved one that's gone, and the phenomenon that, as time passes, memories sometimes fade also - even as we desperately don't want them to.
I could write another ten paragraphs trying to articulate those nuanced emotional experiences, and not come close to how well you've captured it in 49 words (if I counted right).
Your phrases so suit the emotion of the poem -"brushes fewer leaves" - that's some major league poetic symbolism!
And the best - "But now the tree...and he speak only from above." What a beautifully sad and poignant note to end on.
Great to have you back!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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This one captures two subtle but profound phenomenon that anyone who has ever lost someone will relate to: the phenomenon of associating a place, a smell, a song, with that person and using that to draw near to the loved one that's gone, and the phenomenon that, as time passes, memories sometimes fade also - even as we desperately don't want them to.
I could write another ten paragraphs trying to articulate those nuanced emotional experiences, and not come close to how well you've captured it in 49 words (if I counted right).
Your phrases so suit the emotion of the poem -"brushes fewer leaves" - that's some major league poetic symbolism!
And the best - "But now the tree...and he speak only from above." What a beautifully sad and poignant note to end on.
Great to have you back!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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It is great hearing that voice ;that
Insight; that person who has grown to know me through words alone...
Blessed be...Lo
Comment from jenintorre
This is such a sad and poignant poem. I love the concise way that you have written it. I do think less is more in so many cases. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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This is such a sad and poignant poem. I love the concise way that you have written it. I do think less is more in so many cases. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much, Jen. What you said meant a lot. I am striving for "less is more" because I tend to "rattle-on". Blessings, Lo
Comment from meeshu
such a "quiet" poem. maybe "gentle" is a better description. it sends the reader a message of peaceful lament. well penned, Loann..............meeshu
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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such a "quiet" poem. maybe "gentle" is a better description. it sends the reader a message of peaceful lament. well penned, Loann..............meeshu
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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blessed be your observation/it is so appreciated, Lo
Comment from Air Spirit
A lovely and somewhat haunting poetic rendering of loss -- sometimes loss results from what we have in our lives -- because it is a painful reminder of what is lacking or missing... but sometimes, it is the absence of an item, a physical reminder, that helps promote our healing... My favorite lines of yours, and the ones I feel are most beautifully profound are "...For once
the tree she shared with him,
beneath a cloak of love.
But now the tree...and he
speak only from above..." Excellent piece!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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A lovely and somewhat haunting poetic rendering of loss -- sometimes loss results from what we have in our lives -- because it is a painful reminder of what is lacking or missing... but sometimes, it is the absence of an item, a physical reminder, that helps promote our healing... My favorite lines of yours, and the ones I feel are most beautifully profound are "...For once
the tree she shared with him,
beneath a cloak of love.
But now the tree...and he
speak only from above..." Excellent piece!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Your words were so kind and appreciated. You understood the poem completely.Thank you, Lo
Comment from robyn corum
Lois,
I will not claim to have understood all of this poem. But perhaps I got the gist. He's gone -- through whatever means, death or a simple leave-taking. She is left alone to remember -- to walk where they walked. Remember the moments together.
I didn't like the line about one last spring -- it sounded a bit too ... sad and like she's thinking of leaving this life. But the emotions were lovely. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Lois,
I will not claim to have understood all of this poem. But perhaps I got the gist. He's gone -- through whatever means, death or a simple leave-taking. She is left alone to remember -- to walk where they walked. Remember the moments together.
I didn't like the line about one last spring -- it sounded a bit too ... sad and like she's thinking of leaving this life. But the emotions were lovely. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Robyn, You are so correct in much of my thought. Thank you so much for the kind words. It actually meant that the tree had also died, and she was back there observing the few leaves left. I may try at some time to rewrite so the meaning is more clear. Bless You, Lo
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Such a heartbreakingly beautiful piece -- your words are dropped perfectly to create both a smile for what was and a tear for the present acceptance. Good job! Be sure to go in and remove the apostrophe from "it's limbs"....
Thank you so much for sharing your heart today!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Such a heartbreakingly beautiful piece -- your words are dropped perfectly to create both a smile for what was and a tear for the present acceptance. Good job! Be sure to go in and remove the apostrophe from "it's limbs"....
Thank you so much for sharing your heart today!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the catch! And so appreciated are your comments. Blessings, Lo
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks in continuation of the previous works about the same goodbye, but this time goodbye is straight once purposely; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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This speaks in continuation of the previous works about the same goodbye, but this time goodbye is straight once purposely; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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I am so glad your insight was right on the proverbial dot! I didn't think anyone would quite understand what I was feeling.Thank you. Blessings, Lo
Comment from Van
Excellent write. Captures a melancholic ambiance. In the second stanza, second line... I'd consider changing it's to its. The contraction, I think, is out of place in that line.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Excellent write. Captures a melancholic ambiance. In the second stanza, second line... I'd consider changing it's to its. The contraction, I think, is out of place in that line.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Van, you caught it too. Many thanks( to three of you), and I will be changing it next. Your words were stirring, and gave me a real lift. Blessings, Lo
