The Snake
A Crown of Heroic Sonnets for the contest50 total reviews
Comment from Eternal Muse
Tony, I am crying now. It is such a brilliant piece. I loath snakes and when I opened the picture, had a shudder pf revulsion. But, as I read your miraculous words, I forgot my fear and felt very empathetic for this poor creature who fell into a trap and became helpless, despite his size and reputation.
These are just incredible:
But when a source of evil enters thought,
and settles there to fester and pollute,
our inner peace remains disturbed, and fraught
with guilt that, over time, becomes acute.
Our prejudice is apt to lead astray;
and what we think is evil may be good,
submerged in fear. There is a better way
for those who play at god. A good god would
extend a helping hand and rescue him.
I therefore call a service that saves snakes.
The price that's quoted puts me in a spin;
I baulk at saving souls for such high stakes.
Tony, you are a genius. I read your inner struggle of whether to save the creature or let it die, and glad, the humanitarianism prevailed. My heart gave a thump as I was reading about this girl saving a snake. What if she fell? But it's people like her that makes this world a better place.
And these were your masterpiece:
So, on this night, my metaphor was born
as I got up to greet the coming dawn.
This should be published. I am so glad you joined! In ten years I've been sponsoring this contest, your entries were of the highest caliber, you set the bar high and gave the contest a new meaning.
I am not wishing you good luck - I know, nothing could beat this one. I rejoice in this entry - it is a jewel in our Crown.
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
Tony, I am crying now. It is such a brilliant piece. I loath snakes and when I opened the picture, had a shudder pf revulsion. But, as I read your miraculous words, I forgot my fear and felt very empathetic for this poor creature who fell into a trap and became helpless, despite his size and reputation.
These are just incredible:
But when a source of evil enters thought,
and settles there to fester and pollute,
our inner peace remains disturbed, and fraught
with guilt that, over time, becomes acute.
Our prejudice is apt to lead astray;
and what we think is evil may be good,
submerged in fear. There is a better way
for those who play at god. A good god would
extend a helping hand and rescue him.
I therefore call a service that saves snakes.
The price that's quoted puts me in a spin;
I baulk at saving souls for such high stakes.
Tony, you are a genius. I read your inner struggle of whether to save the creature or let it die, and glad, the humanitarianism prevailed. My heart gave a thump as I was reading about this girl saving a snake. What if she fell? But it's people like her that makes this world a better place.
And these were your masterpiece:
So, on this night, my metaphor was born
as I got up to greet the coming dawn.
This should be published. I am so glad you joined! In ten years I've been sponsoring this contest, your entries were of the highest caliber, you set the bar high and gave the contest a new meaning.
I am not wishing you good luck - I know, nothing could beat this one. I rejoice in this entry - it is a jewel in our Crown.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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I'm delighted that this one resonated so keenly with you, Yelena, and I very much appreciate your accolade of six stars. I enjoy the challenge of these Crowns, but find the repeating lines a bit difficult to integrate successfully. Unlike in the longer wreaths of sonnets, where they are amalgamated to form the fifteenth sonnet, they do not seem to serve much useful purpose. I was talking with Jim about this recently and we both thought that a single connecting word might be a more fluid link between each sonnet. I also miss the flexibility of being able to include the occasional trochaic inversion both for emphasis and to break the monotony of unrelieved iambs! I probably overuse enjambment to compensate. Perhaps feminine endings, too, have a place, when used sparingly. Nonetheless, it is an interesting challenge to compose within your tighter limits! I applaud your continued annual sponsorship of the form and thank you for it.
Comment from Joy Graham
Well done. Bravo! I never would have thought to write about a snake for a crown of heroic sonnets. They seem so much different from the regular sonnets. I'm still curious if they require a turn? I keep asking but get no answer. I have three of my seven done, but it is exhausting. My first time trying this. I don't like snakes and was planning to skip your post because of the picture u til I saw this was your crown of heroic sonnets. I have much to learn from you. Best wishes in this contest.
Sincerely Joy xx
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
Well done. Bravo! I never would have thought to write about a snake for a crown of heroic sonnets. They seem so much different from the regular sonnets. I'm still curious if they require a turn? I keep asking but get no answer. I have three of my seven done, but it is exhausting. My first time trying this. I don't like snakes and was planning to skip your post because of the picture u til I saw this was your crown of heroic sonnets. I have much to learn from you. Best wishes in this contest.
Sincerely Joy xx
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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I'm not sure if the turn is an essential element of the heroic sonnet, however this information from www.poetrybase.info suggests that it is at least desirable:
"...eighteen lines of iambic pentameter broken into three or five parts with the last part being a couplet. So, why?s it called a sonnet? No clue. It gives the opportunity for two or more pivots, either at the octave breaks, or at at the end of each quatrain. You can really get your pivot to a spin with this form."
Another on-line source (http://everysonnet.blogspot.com.au/2012/11/heroic-sonnet.html) suggests that it is necessary but that its placement can vary:
"The Heroic Sonnet is:
? metric, iambic pentameter.
? a poem in 18 lines made up of 4 alternate rhymed quatrains and ending with a rhymed heroic couplet.
? rhymed, rhyme scheme abab cdcd efef ghgh ii
? composed without designated arrival of the pivot, but the poem is summarized and concluded by the ending couplet."
Of course, these are both describing the individual heroic sonnet. Having a turn in every one of a connected series may be asking a bit too much!
Good luck with your Crown of Sonnets. I'll be interested to read it when it is done.
Many thanks for your kind review of mine!
Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am scared to death of snakes. I am not hanging around long enough discover if it's poisonous or not. If it's a snake it's NOT good. Your contest entry displays your usual talent. Good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
I am scared to death of snakes. I am not hanging around long enough discover if it's poisonous or not. If it's a snake it's NOT good. Your contest entry displays your usual talent. Good luck.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Very many thanks for your review, Barbara. I'm none too keen on snakes either, when encountered in the wild. All the ones around here are lethal! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from CD Richards
I thoroughly enjoyed this long heroic crown. I find a single sonnet a challenge, so seven of them in a single piece is a monumental feat in my book. A most entertaining tale of your encounter with this most maligned of nature's creatures. On our property we've encountered tiger snakes, death adders, copperheads, red-bellies, and king browns - not a complete representation of everything that will kill a person quicker than they can say "blimey", but enough to make me put on footwear when I'm out and about.
Masterfully written, and a great yarn. Well done.
Craig
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
I thoroughly enjoyed this long heroic crown. I find a single sonnet a challenge, so seven of them in a single piece is a monumental feat in my book. A most entertaining tale of your encounter with this most maligned of nature's creatures. On our property we've encountered tiger snakes, death adders, copperheads, red-bellies, and king browns - not a complete representation of everything that will kill a person quicker than they can say "blimey", but enough to make me put on footwear when I'm out and about.
Masterfully written, and a great yarn. Well done.
Craig
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Stout boots are certainly the answer! I usually wear pretty thick long trousers too, when around the farm. Having said that, I've never encountered an aggressive snake here or anywhere else. They are usually just as anxious to get out of my way as I am to get out of their's. Our most common one on the farm is the Eastern Brown, a particularly venomous little critter, and one whose bite would probably save me from dwindling away in a nursing home. Thanks a lot for dropping six stars on my Crown and for your kind words about it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from estory
It's an interesting sonnet sequence that reminded me of Keats' St. Agnes Eve in style and format. In this piece, you make a journey from jumping back from the image of the snake, and all its connotations, to sympathizing with him. you find a fellow creature struggling to survive, and learn to have compassion for him. estory
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
It's an interesting sonnet sequence that reminded me of Keats' St. Agnes Eve in style and format. In this piece, you make a journey from jumping back from the image of the snake, and all its connotations, to sympathizing with him. you find a fellow creature struggling to survive, and learn to have compassion for him. estory
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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I enjoyed your review and allusion to St Agnes Eve, one of my favorite poems by Keats. Many thanks from this old Beadsman! Tony
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Robert. I must admit I have never seen a Crown Sonnet before tis one. Interesting, although I can see where one could get boring if not written so well. I liked it and wissh you zthe best of luck with it in the contest. Looks like a winner to me. Bob
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
Hi, Robert. I must admit I have never seen a Crown Sonnet before tis one. Interesting, although I can see where one could get boring if not written so well. I liked it and wissh you zthe best of luck with it in the contest. Looks like a winner to me. Bob
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Thanks for dropping by, Bob. These crowns of sonnets are a bit of a labour of love. I've entered this contest on one or two occasions before and then vowed 'never again'! I appreciate your good luck wishes. I hope all is well with you. Kind regards, Tony
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Wwhy in the hell do I keep calling you Robert? LOL sorry, my friend. I think I confuse you with rspoet.
Bob
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Wwhy in the hell do I keep calling you Robert? LOL sorry, my friend. I think I confuse you with rspoet.
Bob
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No offence! I don't mind being confused with Robert. He's rather a fine poet in my opinion!
Comment from MercurySeven
You deserve a standing ovation and several encores for this sonnet cycle. It's masterfully composed, well-paced, and just flat-out entertaining to read. Heroic indeed - well, the lass "armed with two bare hands" saved the day, but the juxtaposition of the trapped snake with the quandaries of old age provided a clever, rich metaphor, which you explored very well. The whole thing is impressive, but these in particular leapt out
*oubliette - I read about this form of dungeon at school - truly the stuff of nightmares (the dungeon was scary too).
*a sudden ebony of wrath
*The bane of age is caution
It'll take a mighty heroic effort to best this in the contest. Bravo!
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
You deserve a standing ovation and several encores for this sonnet cycle. It's masterfully composed, well-paced, and just flat-out entertaining to read. Heroic indeed - well, the lass "armed with two bare hands" saved the day, but the juxtaposition of the trapped snake with the quandaries of old age provided a clever, rich metaphor, which you explored very well. The whole thing is impressive, but these in particular leapt out
*oubliette - I read about this form of dungeon at school - truly the stuff of nightmares (the dungeon was scary too).
*a sudden ebony of wrath
*The bane of age is caution
It'll take a mighty heroic effort to best this in the contest. Bravo!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Very many thanks, Rob, for the accolade of six stars and your words of encouragement. I'm delighted that you found richness in the metaphor and enjoyment in the tale. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Katya
Oh, this is magnificent! I was enthralled from first to last. Good form, good sound, sound theme, great visual and tactile images, and a bow to smell, taste and hearing--what's not to like? Thank you so much!
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
Oh, this is magnificent! I was enthralled from first to last. Good form, good sound, sound theme, great visual and tactile images, and a bow to smell, taste and hearing--what's not to like? Thank you so much!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Very many thanks, Katya, for the accolade of six stars and your words of encouragement. I'm delighted that you enjoyed the sensory appeal of the poems. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from RodG
Tony, I commend you for meeting the challenge of this prompt. I hate snakes because I fear ALL of them. Therefore, unlike the Speaker, I would have ignored this one and let it drown in that well. I really like the FOCUS of each of your sonnets as it switches from the snake to the Speaker and then the rescuer. I also like how you make the reader ponder a variety of themes: survival, our mortality, protecting species, freedom, and a few more. The result is a terrific narrative written in flawless meter. I am super impressed. Rod
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
Tony, I commend you for meeting the challenge of this prompt. I hate snakes because I fear ALL of them. Therefore, unlike the Speaker, I would have ignored this one and let it drown in that well. I really like the FOCUS of each of your sonnets as it switches from the snake to the Speaker and then the rescuer. I also like how you make the reader ponder a variety of themes: survival, our mortality, protecting species, freedom, and a few more. The result is a terrific narrative written in flawless meter. I am super impressed. Rod
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Very many thanks, Rod, for the accolade of six stars and your most affirming words about the construction of the sequence. I, too, have a considerable fear of snakes, and usually have no compunction about dispatching them from a safe distance with a shotgun when they linger around the house. I guess that this one was spared as I didn't see him as a threat! Best wishes, Tony
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You are very welcome, Tony.
Comment from Abby Wilson-hand
YOU HAVE A REALLY GREAT WRITE HERE AND WOULD NOT CHANGE A WORD
BUT I DO HAVE TO SAY I'M TERRIFIED OF SNAKES AND DIDN'T LIKE THE PICTURE I'M AFFRAID OF THEM THAT MUCH
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
YOU HAVE A REALLY GREAT WRITE HERE AND WOULD NOT CHANGE A WORD
BUT I DO HAVE TO SAY I'M TERRIFIED OF SNAKES AND DIDN'T LIKE THE PICTURE I'M AFFRAID OF THEM THAT MUCH
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Thanks very much for your review, Abby. Appreciated! Best wishes, Tony