While I was sleeping
Nocturnal happenings33 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
Most of us have warm beds in heated bedrooms. The homeless have neither on a regular basis. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Most of us have warm beds in heated bedrooms. The homeless have neither on a regular basis. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much C for reviewing I don't hear from you much these days so I am grateful you commented Thankyou
dip
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You're welcome.
Comment from June Sargent
Kudos to you, Dip, for stepping out of your comfort zone. At the cusp of a new year we should all do some reflecting on what blessings we have in contrast with what others may not and will not have. It's not your usual romantic style - but it reveals another aspect of your caring soul. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Kudos to you, Dip, for stepping out of your comfort zone. At the cusp of a new year we should all do some reflecting on what blessings we have in contrast with what others may not and will not have. It's not your usual romantic style - but it reveals another aspect of your caring soul. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much June your comments are very supporting and encouraging much appreciated.
dip
Comment from patcelaw
Dip, I am glad you stepped out of your comfort zone with the writing of this thought provoking poem. We often take for granted that things were peaceful while we slept, but in this world that is not always the case, as your poem so well points out. Happy New Year and God bless, Patricia
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Dip, I am glad you stepped out of your comfort zone with the writing of this thought provoking poem. We often take for granted that things were peaceful while we slept, but in this world that is not always the case, as your poem so well points out. Happy New Year and God bless, Patricia
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thanks Pat have a happy new years eve and even happier 2018
dip
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Dip. It has a bit more of a serious side to it which isn't a bad thing as it makes the reader stop to ponder just what is going on in this one. It's hard sometimes to wake up in a nice big comfortable clean bed and wonder ... Nice work. Happy New Year Mark. xoxo d
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Hi Dip. It has a bit more of a serious side to it which isn't a bad thing as it makes the reader stop to ponder just what is going on in this one. It's hard sometimes to wake up in a nice big comfortable clean bed and wonder ... Nice work. Happy New Year Mark. xoxo d
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much Deb have a great NEW YEAR! Thank you for your wonderful support this year always appreciated your comments.
dip
Comment from Dean Kuch
Sometimes it's good to step out of our "warm and cozy comfort zone", dipster.
It helps us to become better, more well-rounded writers, if that's what we're after.
I'd say stepping outside of your comfort zone this morning was a good thing, based on your returns.
Wouldn't you?
Good stuff.
~Deano
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Sometimes it's good to step out of our "warm and cozy comfort zone", dipster.
It helps us to become better, more well-rounded writers, if that's what we're after.
I'd say stepping outside of your comfort zone this morning was a good thing, based on your returns.
Wouldn't you?
Good stuff.
~Deano
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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hehe I get it now. Thanks so much Dean for the supportive review.
hope you have a great new years eve and a great 2018
Thanks for all the wonderful support you have given me this year and beyond it really has been appreciative
dip
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Anytime, my friend.
Same to you.
~Deano :)
Comment from robyn corum
Dip,
OooOOooooOOOoooo.... Dip! Wake up, buddy!!! You're still in your nightmare! Wake up, pal-o, pal-o. This is NOT you! You've got to get back in the right state of mind -- the new year approaches and you must face it with your typical soothing spirit and optimism! WAKE UP!!!
Only one note, if I may?
1.) Death in battle and terrorism in our streets
--> since you are referring to things happening in OTHER places around the world, I would suggest saying 'in THE streets'. Just a thought.
Thanks!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Dip,
OooOOooooOOOoooo.... Dip! Wake up, buddy!!! You're still in your nightmare! Wake up, pal-o, pal-o. This is NOT you! You've got to get back in the right state of mind -- the new year approaches and you must face it with your typical soothing spirit and optimism! WAKE UP!!!
Only one note, if I may?
1.) Death in battle and terrorism in our streets
--> since you are referring to things happening in OTHER places around the world, I would suggest saying 'in THE streets'. Just a thought.
Thanks!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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hehe diversity is the spice of life don't they say? I don't think it's a bad thing stepping out of one's comfort zone . otherwise life can get boring don't you think? lol
In 'our' streets was inferring to the streets of the world/mankind as a collective, so I suppose they are 'our; streets in that context. I see where you are coming from with your interpretation as well. Thanks so much for your suggestion.
Wow there is a lot of 'shouting' goin' on here, all this upper font stuff haha
Have a wonderful New year's eve and new Year Robyn. congratulations on your worthy and deserved ranking for 2017
respectfully Dip
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Ohhh...Dip. What a kind soul you are. I wish you and I could share the fifth place spot - we've been neck and neck so much of the year! Big hugs -- and Happy New Year!
Comment from Chrissy710
no Dip This is a good poem and how true what goes on whike we sleep on the other side of the word and even within our own neighbourhood A thought provoking piece Happy New Year and sleep well
Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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no Dip This is a good poem and how true what goes on whike we sleep on the other side of the word and even within our own neighbourhood A thought provoking piece Happy New Year and sleep well
Cheers Christine
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much Christine I am glad you liked it.
have a great night
dip
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, a profound statement of the world at large and the perplexing dilemma of life, with its unresolved issues and devastation - a compelling free verse read, smooth, lyrical and dynamic in its stark presentation...
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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In my opinion, a profound statement of the world at large and the perplexing dilemma of life, with its unresolved issues and devastation - a compelling free verse read, smooth, lyrical and dynamic in its stark presentation...
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Eve that is such a wonderful review to end my 2017 year ans what better poet than evesayshi to finish it thank you for your wonderful friendship. Thank you for the wonderful 6. much appreciated.
dip
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You are so welcome, DR DIP - this is an amazing work, and if I could do so, I would rate it higher. It is a treatise that transcends analysis, because of its sensitivity and compassion - beautiful! Thank you for sharing...Eve
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And, lest I forget - Happy New Year to you and yours, DR DIP, and may your New Year be even more prosperous and productive...Eve
Comment from Sis Cat
Dip, you struck gold here with this poem. I do not understand why some of our best poetic ideas arrive at night while we are asleep or trying to sleep, but you have excelled here in writing a poem outside of your comfort zone. The language and rhythm struck me as the narrator speaks about all of the woes in the world he thinks about at night--woes that keep him up:
There was fighting and bloodshed
Somewhere in the world
Death in battle and terrorism in our streets
These living "nightmares" are punctuated with the drumbeat refrain, "While I was sleeping."
In your closing verse the sleeping narrator awakes:
I have awakened to a new day
To new challenges
As I greet the morning sun
What challenges lay ahead?
But finds that
I now see this devastation
I hear of another death through war and terrorism
Another catastrophe
He resigns that since he cannot find peace in the waking world, i exists here:
Yes I have awakened but let sleep be my own peace
Dip, this is exceptional and a nice way to end a troubling year. You are a compassionate person, and your love for all of humanity shows in your poem.
Thank you for sharing and have a Happy New Year.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Dip, you struck gold here with this poem. I do not understand why some of our best poetic ideas arrive at night while we are asleep or trying to sleep, but you have excelled here in writing a poem outside of your comfort zone. The language and rhythm struck me as the narrator speaks about all of the woes in the world he thinks about at night--woes that keep him up:
There was fighting and bloodshed
Somewhere in the world
Death in battle and terrorism in our streets
These living "nightmares" are punctuated with the drumbeat refrain, "While I was sleeping."
In your closing verse the sleeping narrator awakes:
I have awakened to a new day
To new challenges
As I greet the morning sun
What challenges lay ahead?
But finds that
I now see this devastation
I hear of another death through war and terrorism
Another catastrophe
He resigns that since he cannot find peace in the waking world, i exists here:
Yes I have awakened but let sleep be my own peace
Dip, this is exceptional and a nice way to end a troubling year. You are a compassionate person, and your love for all of humanity shows in your poem.
Thank you for sharing and have a Happy New Year.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Andre you have certainly made my year with this wonderful review you continually put me on a high with you reviews ans support and I am forever grateful.
Thank you dip
Comment from oliver818
Thanks for sharing this poem. I've had that same experience. I yelled at my partner once after having a dream about people suffering in Syria. It wasn't their fault, I just felt guilty for having a good life. Anyway, well done with this piece and happy new year!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thanks for sharing this poem. I've had that same experience. I yelled at my partner once after having a dream about people suffering in Syria. It wasn't their fault, I just felt guilty for having a good life. Anyway, well done with this piece and happy new year!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thanks again Oliver much appreciated.
dip
