Senryu (ice cream castles)
I dream ice cream!72 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Your cute picture selection caught my attention and I enjoyed your use of alliteration in this 5-7-5. Here's to more inspiration from Shakespeare! (My current post was also influenced by the Bard). Best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Your cute picture selection caught my attention and I enjoyed your use of alliteration in this 5-7-5. Here's to more inspiration from Shakespeare! (My current post was also influenced by the Bard). Best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Joan, for your review. I am overjoyed that the title of Shakespeare's greatest comedy fit into my closing line.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Such a delicious Senryu. I love the first line the best. "Ice cream castles chill..." sounds so good and clever as I say the words out loud. The title and the whole presentation is very cute. Ice cream hurts my teeth, but I can still remember how much I loved it as a child. You have pleasant dreams, most definitely. Thanks for the lift in my spirit, as I read this poem this early morning.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Such a delicious Senryu. I love the first line the best. "Ice cream castles chill..." sounds so good and clever as I say the words out loud. The title and the whole presentation is very cute. Ice cream hurts my teeth, but I can still remember how much I loved it as a child. You have pleasant dreams, most definitely. Thanks for the lift in my spirit, as I read this poem this early morning.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, James, for your review of my "delicious Senryu." I am glad it gave a lift to your soul.
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It certainly did. Thank you.
Comment from nomi338
I can think of no better dream
Than one of castles of ice cream
Not in the sky but right here with me
So that I might consume it entirely.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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I can think of no better dream
Than one of castles of ice cream
Not in the sky but right here with me
So that I might consume it entirely.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, nomi338, for your review. I can't think of no better dream either.
Comment from suep
Good alliteration with 'c' and internal rhyme with chill/thrill. I especially enjoyed 'ice cream castles'. I can certainly relate! Great visual, artwork choice and presentation. Nice work. Best wishes in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Good alliteration with 'c' and internal rhyme with chill/thrill. I especially enjoyed 'ice cream castles'. I can certainly relate! Great visual, artwork choice and presentation. Nice work. Best wishes in the contest! :)
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, suep, for your review and for wishing me the best for the contest.
Comment from Lu Saluna
This is a very cute senryu and about ice cream no less, in the middle of winter.
Nice to get into the spirit of things early. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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This is a very cute senryu and about ice cream no less, in the middle of winter.
Nice to get into the spirit of things early. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Lu, for your review of my "very cute senryu" and for wishing me success in the contest. I appreciate it.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, my friend,
Your senryu's lines connect smoothly have concrete images and your presentation is very attractive. Good job!
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Hello, my friend,
Your senryu's lines connect smoothly have concrete images and your presentation is very attractive. Good job!
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Gypsy, for your review and for wishing me success in the contest.
Comment from winnona
A midsummers nights dream is my favorite of all Shakespeare's writings. A well-written contest entry. I think you did well completing the challenge of the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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A midsummers nights dream is my favorite of all Shakespeare's writings. A well-written contest entry. I think you did well completing the challenge of the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Winnona, for your review of my senryu inspired by your favorite Shakespeare [lay. Thanks also for wishing me contest success.
Comment from MelB
A nice Senryu poem and contest entry. Excellent syllable count. Good use of alliteration. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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A nice Senryu poem and contest entry. Excellent syllable count. Good use of alliteration. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, MelB, for your review of my "nice Senryu poem" and for wishing me the best in the contest.
Comment from DR DIP
hehe I like it Well being an ice cream tragic I have no choice but to like it I love the Shakespearean reference of Midsummer night's dream well done and thanks for sharing.
dip
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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hehe I like it Well being an ice cream tragic I have no choice but to like it I love the Shakespearean reference of Midsummer night's dream well done and thanks for sharing.
dip
Comment Written 03-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Dip, for your of my magical, ice cream tragic senryu. I am glad you love my reference to A Midsummer Night's Dream
Comment from Gma48
The senryu form was followed according to the syllables. I like the contrast between young and old. And the bottom line-who couldn't dream about ice cream? This senryu was filled with good humor!
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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The senryu form was followed according to the syllables. I like the contrast between young and old. And the bottom line-who couldn't dream about ice cream? This senryu was filled with good humor!
Comment Written 03-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Gma48, of my "senryu . . .filled with good humor!"
My original second line was "children's tongue's and thrill their souls," but I fear people would think I was talking about the souls of the tongues and not the children. so I changed "their" to "old," thereby forming a "contrast between young and old."
