What is this moon?
A Villanelle70 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A well written villanelle with the image
and presentation matching the descriptions.
-You do have a way with words and imagery
that ties the poem together from one 'fetid'
image to the next LOL
-I know this is your 'counterbalance' to
romanticism and rather
Deanesque, as some have said.
-Here is my view:
The Moon: A Lament
How will I write a glowing review?
How will I write by the light of the moon
And share the love of me and my man?
Or look out the window and see from afar
The full moon's light reflected by a star?
O, wise poet with the golden pen
Who writes so well his villanelle
Will the moon ever cast her magic spell?
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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-A well written villanelle with the image
and presentation matching the descriptions.
-You do have a way with words and imagery
that ties the poem together from one 'fetid'
image to the next LOL
-I know this is your 'counterbalance' to
romanticism and rather
Deanesque, as some have said.
-Here is my view:
The Moon: A Lament
How will I write a glowing review?
How will I write by the light of the moon
And share the love of me and my man?
Or look out the window and see from afar
The full moon's light reflected by a star?
O, wise poet with the golden pen
Who writes so well his villanelle
Will the moon ever cast her magic spell?
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Ha! Ha! What a very splendid response to my somewhat macabre poem!
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So glad you liked it. There should be a contest about the reviews to your poem; I think Leineco would win; that was incredible. You got a lot of people thinking. Glad my poem made you laugh😊
Comment from rspoet
Sounds like the Walrus on the loose
from an old Beatles mystery tour
The moon scrooge of Fleurieu
waxing and waning
The villain of the Villanelle
Interesting rhymes you've chosen
done extremely well and the meter is spot on
though my mixed meter mind wants to stress the questions
as an orator on stage might: WHAT is this Moon...
This is a very fine villanelle, my friend
Only fives left
Best wishes in the contest
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Sounds like the Walrus on the loose
from an old Beatles mystery tour
The moon scrooge of Fleurieu
waxing and waning
The villain of the Villanelle
Interesting rhymes you've chosen
done extremely well and the meter is spot on
though my mixed meter mind wants to stress the questions
as an orator on stage might: WHAT is this Moon...
This is a very fine villanelle, my friend
Only fives left
Best wishes in the contest
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Many thanks, RS. I enjoyed your response! This contest caught me in a somewhat maudlin mood. You are right - there is a natural inversion of stress on the questions, but they were a useful device for tying the sections together. Some you win, some you lose!
Comment from MelB
Great description and imagery, starting with the picture and working throughout the poem. Wonderful use of alliteration with life's leprosies. Great job with the repeating line and format of the poem.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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Great description and imagery, starting with the picture and working throughout the poem. Wonderful use of alliteration with life's leprosies. Great job with the repeating line and format of the poem.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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Many thanks for your review and kind words! Tony
Comment from Selina Stambi
Tony,
Your poetry fascinates me with its polish and silken smoothness of phraseology. Never do your lines appear forced or second-thought.
The imagery is ... well ... grim perhaps? :) ... clamminess, gangrene, pock- marked , fetid ... sharp, toxic and has a shock-value impact on your reader. (A Dean Kuch sort of soup!).
Beautifully, elegantly written - as always. I believe you have another winner.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Sonali
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Tony,
Your poetry fascinates me with its polish and silken smoothness of phraseology. Never do your lines appear forced or second-thought.
The imagery is ... well ... grim perhaps? :) ... clamminess, gangrene, pock- marked , fetid ... sharp, toxic and has a shock-value impact on your reader. (A Dean Kuch sort of soup!).
Beautifully, elegantly written - as always. I believe you have another winner.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Sonali
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Lovely to hear from you, Sonali, and thank you so much for this kind review and for the six stars. Both much appreciated! I don't often take a turn on the dark side and am no match for Dean! However, it was fun to pen a counter-balance to the usual romanticism of moon poems! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mary Wakeford
I have such fondness for the moon and it stems from a special moment from young childhood that I had with my very dear uncle, I was four and on the driveway of my parents home, and my uncle was telling me story of the man in the moon and pointing out his features to me. All these years later, I always go there when I'm looking at a full moon. Your poem is of a much different nature and very cerebral (I must admit you need to expand your glossary for me alone. It is very thoughtful and I enjoyed the repeating rhymes/refrains this type of poetry calls for. Well done!
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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I have such fondness for the moon and it stems from a special moment from young childhood that I had with my very dear uncle, I was four and on the driveway of my parents home, and my uncle was telling me story of the man in the moon and pointing out his features to me. All these years later, I always go there when I'm looking at a full moon. Your poem is of a much different nature and very cerebral (I must admit you need to expand your glossary for me alone. It is very thoughtful and I enjoyed the repeating rhymes/refrains this type of poetry calls for. Well done!
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Lovely to hear from you, Mary, and thank you so much for this kind review. I don't often take a turn on the dark side! However, it was fun to pen a counter-balance to the usual romanticism of moon poems! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from pearlecat
This is a beautifully written villanelle. I wouldn't have known a villianelle if it had struck me (thanks for explaining it) so I just read it as something that moved me. I still couldn't tell if it was properly formatted, but I'm sure it is, I just know it was beautiful. Pearl
P.S. I love the moon and never would've thought of it in a negative way, I'd have been more apt to pick on the sun, it burns things. LOl
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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This is a beautifully written villanelle. I wouldn't have known a villianelle if it had struck me (thanks for explaining it) so I just read it as something that moved me. I still couldn't tell if it was properly formatted, but I'm sure it is, I just know it was beautiful. Pearl
P.S. I love the moon and never would've thought of it in a negative way, I'd have been more apt to pick on the sun, it burns things. LOl
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Lovely to hear from you, Pearl, and thank you so much for this kind review and for the six stars. Both much appreciated! I don't often take a turn on the dark side! However, it was fun to pen a counter-balance to the usual romanticism of moon poems! i rather agree with you about the sun! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Kingsland
This poem is very creative in the language used in it. It also flows very smoothly for using unusual words. I liked everything about this excellent piece of poetic art. It was my pleasure to have read and written this response for... John
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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This poem is very creative in the language used in it. It also flows very smoothly for using unusual words. I liked everything about this excellent piece of poetic art. It was my pleasure to have read and written this response for... John
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Great to hear from you, John, and thank you so much for this kind review. Much appreciated! Tony
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Hey there fellow, How dare you talk about my cherished moon in such a way. It is an object of my affection and you have said some really vile things here about It.
Just kidding. This is different Tony. Really though rant about the moon? Of note..... anchored flight,fetid pool of light,
clammy skin of night. Alliteration>solid shores with shifting seas? Wow,this is something. Top this everyone. LOL Nancy
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Hey there fellow, How dare you talk about my cherished moon in such a way. It is an object of my affection and you have said some really vile things here about It.
Just kidding. This is different Tony. Really though rant about the moon? Of note..... anchored flight,fetid pool of light,
clammy skin of night. Alliteration>solid shores with shifting seas? Wow,this is something. Top this everyone. LOL Nancy
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Lovely to hear from you, Nancy, and thank you so much for this kind review. Much appreciated! I don't often take a turn on the dark side and am no match for Dean! However, it was fun to pen a counter-balance to the usual romanticism of moon poems! Best wishes, Tony
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Well done!
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Well done!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello,
A well-written creepy poem. It's gruesome and unique. It's not as good as Dean's work but interesting non the less.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Hello,
A well-written creepy poem. It's gruesome and unique. It's not as good as Dean's work but interesting non the less.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Lovely to hear from you, Rose, and thank you so much for your review. Much appreciated! I don't often take a turn on the dark side and am no match for Dean! However, it was fun to pen a counter-balance to the usual romanticism of moon poems! Best wishes, Tony
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Nothing wrong with trying new things. I do it all the time. Good job, Tony
Comment from rbutner
I found this so interesting; one doesn't often read a poem about the moon with negative connotations. I like it. You did a very good job with this villanelle, the imagery is fantastic. Good luck in the contest.
Renee
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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I found this so interesting; one doesn't often read a poem about the moon with negative connotations. I like it. You did a very good job with this villanelle, the imagery is fantastic. Good luck in the contest.
Renee
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Lovely to hear from you, Renee, and thank you so much for this kind review. Much appreciated! I don't often take a turn on the dark side and am no match for Dean! However, it was fun to pen a counter-balance to the usual romanticism of moon poems! Best wishes, Tony
