Comment from LanceHill

Excellent

This is a fantastic addition Christine. The flow was great. A sad story told but one that happens often. Have a great day. God bless.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016

Hi Lance, Thank you so much for reading my poem and for your lovely comment. I thought a sad poem was befitting this image for some reason and although I made it up it could also be very true. have a great day too Cheers Christine😃

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hi Christine - This is very well told in good free verse. You have maintained iambic pentameter throughout. A sad story of loss and your interpretation of the picture is good. In stanza 8 'My heart was torn away that tragic day' - good use of metaphor, and 'My tears run free like rivers down my face' - good simile. A lovely read. Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016

Hi Dorothy, I am so pleased you liked this and always appreciate you reviews for my work. This story lent itself to a free verse and I could tell this story through it's use. Many thanks for reading it and for your warm comments. Cheers Christine😃

Comment from LateBloomer

Exceptional

Hello Chrissy710, Your poem is softly penned with psalms from the heart. Of special note:

I see you walking in the clouds above
Umbrella overhead, sweet music plays

(Vivid imagery that radiates from the heart. I also love how you repeated those lines once again in the ending verse.)

Also:
I'm sorry Mam, but we have some bad news
An accident has claimed your husbands life.

(The ultimate sadness of a day that began just like any other day, but ends in the worst of horrific news.)

And:
I know that if you could, you would return
And take me in your arms and hold me tight,
I stand outside and wait for you my love

(The yearning for life to return as it was, and the subtle disbelief that the past is now, and can only be, surreal.)

Also:
Please come for me, I'll go with no regret

(C, I don't know if this poem is biographical, but I leave my tear upon your page ... a tearjerker.)

Great descriptive (emotionally driven) writing that grabs the heartstrings of the reader and pulls them into the poem. Excellent writing. Good luck in the challenge.

Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016

Hi LateBloomer, Wow What a lovely review and I am so pleased you thought it good enough for a six star rating. When I looked at this image, my story just seemed to unfold and your review is exactly the emotional ride I was hoping to evoke. No this is not a true story just my imagination , but thank you for youe tear upon my page. I send back a warm hug. Cheers Christine 😄

Comment from Sherylsart

Excellent

This is beautiful. Very touching. Good pacing and rhythm. The story is everyone's nightmare. If it is true, I am truly sorry, my heart goes out to you. A couple of apostrophe issues:
An accident has claimed your husband(')s life.
He's on his way, he should'n(')t be too long
And then I saw the pity ...
The second one, just move the apostrophe.
Otherwise, very well written.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016

Hi Sherylsart, Amny thanks for stopping by to read and review my Picture Challenge and for you helpful tips and I have corrected these mistakes with the apostrophes. I appreciate your help. ( No this is not true for me but it could be for someone out there, so your sympathy is appreciated.) Have a great day Cheers Christine😃

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

very well written on post PC on avAnderson current a free verse contest Christine very nicely presented with a great detective content painting very well picture I've actually reviewed 7 previous pieces using this exact same artwork for the love poem contest and now it's being used in the free free vs interesting good luck with this 24 freeery this account

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016

Hi Ricky, Many thanks for reading and reviewing my poem for this picture challenge. I chose a free verse style for this poem and once I started creating my story I just wanted to tell the story without restrictions of rhyme etc. It was an interesting picture to write about, and I am sure there are many great poems about this image out there. Cheers Christine😀

Comment from chcbeck

Excellent

What a tragic story unfolding through the words of your poem. You have really brought the picture to life. A great style and a joy to read although so sad. Thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016

Hi chcbeck, Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem and once I decided what theme I would go with ,the poem just appeared in this form. I am pleased you enjoyed the read. Many Cheers Christine😃

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

This is great what a wonderful story on this picture. Great free verse style. thanks for sharing this. have yourself a wonderful day.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016

Hi William, I am pleased you liked my effort for this Challenge and I am always happy to hear from you. You too have a wonderful day. Many Cheers Christine

Comment from Jose Saic

Exceptional

I feel this beautiful poem as a tribute to a great love to a  man that that will not return because of the tragedy of war. The verses give images of the mind of a woman engage in love forever.
Wonderful.poem
Congratulations.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016

Hi Jose Saic, Many Many thanks for your time to read and review my poem for this challenge picture and for your lovely comments and six stars. I am so pleased you thought it so wonderful and worthy. Yes I suppose there are many women who have lost their loved ones to either a war or tragic accident. and this is one for them. Nice to meet you through this site. Have a lovely day Cheers Christine😀

reply by Jose Saic on 17-Feb-2016

You are welcome.

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

I hope this is a poem and not an actual event. I think you captured the woman's reactions very well. A woman hearing the news would be wooden at first. Thank you for sharing. Well done.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016

Hi dmt1967. Nooo this is not true, purely my imagination as I looked at the image, the man looked like he was walking on clouds, and my poem free style just created this sad story. I tried to imagine what it would be like if this happened, and glad you thought It was well done Many Cheers for your support Christine😀

Comment from Marykelly

Excellent

This is a poem about life being interrupted by death. The unexpected loss on an ordinary day doing ordinary things reminds us of our human fragility. The story in verse here has a logical beginning, middle, and end told in a conversational tone that builds to the unexpected death of a loved one. The resolution is the speaker's bond of love remains strong in spite of the physical loss.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016

Hi Marykelly. I thank you for your lovely review for my poem and appreciate your time to read this and leave me a message. I enjoyed writing this although sad, but when I thought about it this is what came out. Many Cheers Christine😃