Tell me a tale
Rhyming couplets39 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
A tale of restless and erratic love that has its ups and downs. Nice snappy rhythm and well chosen words. Excellent rhyming and illustration. Faye
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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A tale of restless and erratic love that has its ups and downs. Nice snappy rhythm and well chosen words. Excellent rhyming and illustration. Faye
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Faye. Your review, as always, is much appreciated. Delighted that you read it as a love poem, as that was at least half of its intention! Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from MSJVClarke
This was a very nice poem, a bit romantic, a bit sarcastic. Your rhyming sequence was nice and each stanza transitioned nicely. I liked the the ending.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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This was a very nice poem, a bit romantic, a bit sarcastic. Your rhyming sequence was nice and each stanza transitioned nicely. I liked the the ending.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, MSJVC. Your review, as always, is much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Tony - this was wonderful and different. I liked the way you crafted this one, it has a solid flow when reading it and makes me pause and reflect on life as a whole - the muse can be all that and more.
Great job.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Dear Tony - this was wonderful and different. I liked the way you crafted this one, it has a solid flow when reading it and makes me pause and reflect on life as a whole - the muse can be all that and more.
Great job.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Maureen. Your thoughtful and sensitive review, as always, is much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from rama devi
Hi, my friend.
This almost sounds like a song, it's so lyrical and well cadences with a swift bouncy beat that matches the intensity of emotion and thematic content, too. Good rhyming and smatterings of poetic devices (especially consonance and alliteration of S sounds). Sounds great read aloud.
Great lines:
Here is my heart. Quicken the beat.
Capture my ears with your deceit.
Good consonance of Q ans C sounds.
My only suggestion is to consider removing all end-line the periods. Since every sentence has one, it looks cluttered. Also, because they all have one, it becomes unnecessary. It reads fine without the end-line punctuation. Just a thought!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Hi, my friend.
This almost sounds like a song, it's so lyrical and well cadences with a swift bouncy beat that matches the intensity of emotion and thematic content, too. Good rhyming and smatterings of poetic devices (especially consonance and alliteration of S sounds). Sounds great read aloud.
Great lines:
Here is my heart. Quicken the beat.
Capture my ears with your deceit.
Good consonance of Q ans C sounds.
My only suggestion is to consider removing all end-line the periods. Since every sentence has one, it looks cluttered. Also, because they all have one, it becomes unnecessary. It reads fine without the end-line punctuation. Just a thought!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, RD. Your thorough and perceptive review, as always, is much appreciated. I wavered over the punctuation. I put it in as each line has two separate sentences, but I think you are right. Best wishes, Tony.
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Warm thanks for your gracious response, as always, dear Tony! Best Wishes, rd
Comment from TAB_that's me
Your form is interesting with the 2 shorts lines within a line. "Massage my words" - very interesting - I read several times over - didn't like it at first but it grew on me and now is my favorite part:)
teresa
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Your form is interesting with the 2 shorts lines within a line. "Massage my words" - very interesting - I read several times over - didn't like it at first but it grew on me and now is my favorite part:)
teresa
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Teresa. This was mainly an experiment in trochaic meter. So glad to hear that it worked for you. Your review, as always, is much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
A love poem to your Muse. I can see she is much more sophisticated than mine. She has wooed you with a da da da Dum beat. What meter is that? Excellent aabb rhyme in the quatrains. You are well schooled in the art of poetry Tony. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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A love poem to your Muse. I can see she is much more sophisticated than mine. She has wooed you with a da da da Dum beat. What meter is that? Excellent aabb rhyme in the quatrains. You are well schooled in the art of poetry Tony. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Nancy. This was an experiment in trochaic meter - one that I haven't attempted before. I very much appreciate both your review and the six stars. Most affirming! Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Liilia
What a beautiful way to express the idea of the poetry muse. Each word, each line is to the point and carries the theme in its various ramifications to the end - which hits the point home: when the muse is with the poet, there is poetry - when she is not - forgetabout it! Thanks for sharing this pithy and meaningful rhyme. Thank you too for using my drawing to illustrate.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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What a beautiful way to express the idea of the poetry muse. Each word, each line is to the point and carries the theme in its various ramifications to the end - which hits the point home: when the muse is with the poet, there is poetry - when she is not - forgetabout it! Thanks for sharing this pithy and meaningful rhyme. Thank you too for using my drawing to illustrate.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Liilia. Your illustration was just perfect for this poem, as several reviewers have mentioned. This was an experiment in trochaic meter - a rhythm that I haven't attempted before. I very much appreciate both your review and the six stars. Most affirming! Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Just2Write
A most interesting meter, Tony - with 2 Tetrasyllable, quartus paeon per line; which is a fancy way of saying that the beat goes da-da-da-DUM, da-da-da-DUM (4 short sounds, followed by a long one x 2 per line.) It's use is very effective here as you talk to that elusive muse. (There is no talking to mine - he either graces me with his presence, or he doesn't.)
You are one of the more courageous writers on the site, always looking for new beats and meters - and you do it very well.
Rose.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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A most interesting meter, Tony - with 2 Tetrasyllable, quartus paeon per line; which is a fancy way of saying that the beat goes da-da-da-DUM, da-da-da-DUM (4 short sounds, followed by a long one x 2 per line.) It's use is very effective here as you talk to that elusive muse. (There is no talking to mine - he either graces me with his presence, or he doesn't.)
You are one of the more courageous writers on the site, always looking for new beats and meters - and you do it very well.
Rose.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Rose. This was an experiment in trochaic meter - a rhythm that I haven't attempted before. I very much appreciate your review. Most affirming! Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A well written poem Tony in good trochaic pentameter. Splitting each line in two gives the poem an urgency that suits the subject matter. Good rhyming couplets. A good use of metaphor throughout - almost every line, 'massage my words' I like. String me along - Lead me a dance - You need this muse at any cost, LOL. A good read. Warm regards Dorothy Dorothyx
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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A well written poem Tony in good trochaic pentameter. Splitting each line in two gives the poem an urgency that suits the subject matter. Good rhyming couplets. A good use of metaphor throughout - almost every line, 'massage my words' I like. String me along - Lead me a dance - You need this muse at any cost, LOL. A good read. Warm regards Dorothy Dorothyx
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Dorothy. This was an experiment in trochaic meter - a rhythm that I haven't attempted before. I very much appreciate your review. Most affirming! Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from c_lucas
What wordsmith has not pleaded with his muse for something to write? My muse likes to play tricks. Just when I am falling asleep, she fills my head with ideas. I trust you have a more understanding muse.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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What wordsmith has not pleaded with his muse for something to write? My muse likes to play tricks. Just when I am falling asleep, she fills my head with ideas. I trust you have a more understanding muse.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015
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Many thanks, Charlie. This was an experiment in trochaic meter - a rhythm that I haven't attempted before. I very much appreciate your review. Most affirming! Best wishes, Tony.
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You're welcome, Tony. Charlie
