Windows To The Past
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Louie"Poems about the old West.
53 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
I am sure this kind of loner's drunken life was played out in many such towns at that time. Interesting to read of those times, good job some folk were helpful to those in need. Excellent story line and rhyming. Hope you don't mind a suggestion for verse 3, desperate needs to be desperation to fit alongside pride: until at last, desperation and pride dissolved, he begs. Three wee errors: verse 1, cowpokes' scathing......Verse 3, cowboys' dregs. Last line, addiction's wrath. Great picture. Faye
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2015
  |
I am sure this kind of loner's drunken life was played out in many such towns at that time. Interesting to read of those times, good job some folk were helpful to those in need. Excellent story line and rhyming. Hope you don't mind a suggestion for verse 3, desperate needs to be desperation to fit alongside pride: until at last, desperation and pride dissolved, he begs. Three wee errors: verse 1, cowpokes' scathing......Verse 3, cowboys' dregs. Last line, addiction's wrath. Great picture. Faye
Comment Written 15-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2015
-
Thank you Faye. Desperation would set the meter off. I did fix the problem Though and the punctuation. Thanks for helping! Nancy
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Poor Louie. A victim of fate and circumstance.
I really enjoyed the tale as it unfolded in Heptameter.
A very focused and clear picture evolves fro the description of Louie and his habits.
The rhythm and rhyme are well done.
I felt the second and third lines in the third stanza weren't quite as smooth as the others.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2015
|
Poor Louie. A victim of fate and circumstance.
I really enjoyed the tale as it unfolded in Heptameter.
A very focused and clear picture evolves fro the description of Louie and his habits.
The rhythm and rhyme are well done.
I felt the second and third lines in the third stanza weren't quite as smooth as the others.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 14-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2015
-
Thank you Shirley I appreciate the comments and stars. :<) Nancy
Comment from madhatter1977
Great poem, Nancy! I can relate to it even though it's set in the wild west. It's still a common problem now. I like the historical use of the pail and the lilting rhythm of your couplets! Best wishes, Pete :)
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
|
Great poem, Nancy! I can relate to it even though it's set in the wild west. It's still a common problem now. I like the historical use of the pail and the lilting rhythm of your couplets! Best wishes, Pete :)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
-
Thank you Pete. I am surprised at how little the young people know about the old west. Thanks for the review Pete Have a great weekend XX Nancy.
-
LOL! I live in the UK, Nancy, we have our own history! And we harmed lots of cultures on the way by ourselves. Best wishes, Pete :)
Comment from GWHARGIS
I love that you touched on addiction in such a unique way. Who would have thought of doing something like this with a 1800's era. I love how you write about the west. It seems to be a male dominated genre, but I swear you are the queen of it. Great job on this. You touched on the raw rough life of an addict but in your own way. Gretchen
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
 |
I love that you touched on addiction in such a unique way. Who would have thought of doing something like this with a 1800's era. I love how you write about the west. It seems to be a male dominated genre, but I swear you are the queen of it. Great job on this. You touched on the raw rough life of an addict but in your own way. Gretchen
Comment Written 14-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
-
Thanks again Gretchen So happy you like it that much. A Six!
Love it! Have a lovely weekend. Nancy
Comment from DALLAS01
You have handled the misery of addiction in an all-encompassing perspective; citing both the reality of its hold, and the pathos of its grasp, on a sympathetic, rather than a revolting image of its victim.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
|
You have handled the misery of addiction in an all-encompassing perspective; citing both the reality of its hold, and the pathos of its grasp, on a sympathetic, rather than a revolting image of its victim.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
-
Thank you Dallas. Louie is a gentleman who has fallen on hard times because he is ill. It is a sickness but one that can be cured by ones-self. Thanks for the understanding review and generous six stars. :<) Nancy
-
You're welcome. Unfortunately this disease cannot be conquered by self-will alone
-
I have seen it before.
Comment from Aussie
Wonderful old photo of a stagecoach town, this does help your poem immensely. I love to be taken on a journey through time in your country, to learn more about the cowboys and sometimes Indians. Many western towns had a town drunk - today there are more drunks in town than I could count! LOL. Well done and most enjoyable.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
|
Wonderful old photo of a stagecoach town, this does help your poem immensely. I love to be taken on a journey through time in your country, to learn more about the cowboys and sometimes Indians. Many western towns had a town drunk - today there are more drunks in town than I could count! LOL. Well done and most enjoyable.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
-
So happy you like it Kay. It does seem like there are too many drunks on the streets now doesn't it. I love the stories of the old west and will be writing many more. Some about my ancestors. Thanks for the review. Nancy
Comment from lakeport
Louie, a grate picture of an old western town, that's a wonderful story poem, Very nice rhyming and flow. I enjoyed reading it,. God bless you. Hugs! Lakeport.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
|
Louie, a grate picture of an old western town, that's a wonderful story poem, Very nice rhyming and flow. I enjoyed reading it,. God bless you. Hugs! Lakeport.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
-
Thank you very much Erich. Blessings to you and yours. :<) Nancy
-
you are very welcome,Hugs!Lakeport.
Comment from JanetRussek
That little mind of yours amazes me. Don't know how you come up with the subject for your pieces but it's a goldmine. I enjoyed the read very much.
Warm Regards,
Janet
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
|
That little mind of yours amazes me. Don't know how you come up with the subject for your pieces but it's a goldmine. I enjoyed the read very much.
Warm Regards,
Janet
Comment Written 13-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
-
In my sleep. It wakes me up. I have a line or a verse that I have written subconsciously! Really! Some of them anyhow. Lately it's like I have been blessed with a new muse who is having a ball getting me up at two thirty and three to write something down. LOL Thanks Janet
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
A bucketful of beer??? Yikes! Now there are no town drunks, since there are so many, no one of them stands out. Well done in your amazing heptameter. Nice folksy tale from your part of the country... but probably a few years earlier. :)
a hat that's seen it's day. << seen IT IS day????????? Sigh...
the Devil's, waiting patiently << Incorrect comma. Delete.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
|
A bucketful of beer??? Yikes! Now there are no town drunks, since there are so many, no one of them stands out. Well done in your amazing heptameter. Nice folksy tale from your part of the country... but probably a few years earlier. :)
a hat that's seen it's day. << seen IT IS day????????? Sigh...
the Devil's, waiting patiently << Incorrect comma. Delete.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
-
Sigh!I will fix. It is an automatic thing I do believe. Thanks you so much my friend. Hugs. Nancy
-
Sigh!I will fix. It is an automatic thing I do believe. Thanks you so much my friend. Hugs. Nancy
-
Sigh!I will fix. It is an automatic thing I do believe. Thanks you so much my friend. Hugs. Nancy
-
You're forgiven, again. You should just make it a habit as you proofread to look for that word. When you find it, check to see if IT IS fits and if that's what you want to say. If not, then it's ITS. :)
-
I do more often than not but I still miss it some times. I also have a habit of putting an e at the end of some words. LOL Don't ask. and I leave the 'r' off your a lot of times. Crazy quirks I guess.xxx
Comment from Capricorn30
I love your artwork of the old west town, Nancy;
Problems of today as common as they were in the frontier days;
Alcoholism/addiction destroying lives back then, like today--sad to say;
We help ourselves only if we choose to do so, the first step in battling addiction demons.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
|
I love your artwork of the old west town, Nancy;
Problems of today as common as they were in the frontier days;
Alcoholism/addiction destroying lives back then, like today--sad to say;
We help ourselves only if we choose to do so, the first step in battling addiction demons.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
-
So true Margaret. Thank you for the review and comments. :<) Nancy
