Bullied to Death
A poem about bullying59 total reviews
Comment from mikemagine
This is a powerful, declaration of the consequences of apathy and bullying. And in this mad, mad 21st century, it's only gotten worse!
I believe that the root of this is evil that clouds the earth. I believe that while prayer is called for, so is decisive, firm action! This must not go on! Okay, probably there will always be bullying, even to a significant degree, but if the right people - whoever they are! - stand in the gap, a major difference could be made.
People nationwide and probably worldwide need to band together, form a powerful force that protects victims of bullying!
Another bad thing is that bullying happens even among supposedly mature adults - everywhere! The office, college, church(Oh yeah!) - you name it!
Thanks for sharing!
Mike
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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This is a powerful, declaration of the consequences of apathy and bullying. And in this mad, mad 21st century, it's only gotten worse!
I believe that the root of this is evil that clouds the earth. I believe that while prayer is called for, so is decisive, firm action! This must not go on! Okay, probably there will always be bullying, even to a significant degree, but if the right people - whoever they are! - stand in the gap, a major difference could be made.
People nationwide and probably worldwide need to band together, form a powerful force that protects victims of bullying!
Another bad thing is that bullying happens even among supposedly mature adults - everywhere! The office, college, church(Oh yeah!) - you name it!
Thanks for sharing!
Mike
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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You are right about the fact that bullying can take place anywhere at any age. Ive witnessed it big time in a nursing home. Thanks for such a high review.
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It was my pleasure!
Mike
Comment from Ben Colder
Too much of this in the public schools. Lots have changed since I was a boy. We would get the bully after school and give him or her a taste of what it was all about. Then we never had a problem after that. Your poem spells it out like it is. Merry Christmas.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Too much of this in the public schools. Lots have changed since I was a boy. We would get the bully after school and give him or her a taste of what it was all about. Then we never had a problem after that. Your poem spells it out like it is. Merry Christmas.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Things have changed a lot and kids dont stick up for each other as much. Thanks so much for reviewing.
Comment from Justin Chopin
WoW! Very descriptive and very honest with how you can only push a person so far until they go berserk. The rhyming was excellent the way you described the boy's emotional frailness and the bullies callousness was amazing. Just very sad that it had to end with three young men being made into bloody dead bodies. Very realistic gripping and extraordinary writing.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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WoW! Very descriptive and very honest with how you can only push a person so far until they go berserk. The rhyming was excellent the way you described the boy's emotional frailness and the bullies callousness was amazing. Just very sad that it had to end with three young men being made into bloody dead bodies. Very realistic gripping and extraordinary writing.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Thank you so much for your insightful comments and your high rating.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Muffins
The photo and the words made me sigh and shake my head in sorrow. This poem slowly peels off the horror a bullied child goes through daily. The details are harsh, no sugar coating.
I have a few suggestions.
1. Third Stanza: I would remove the words" ten thousand knots". The extra syllables off sets the rhyming.
2.Fourth stanza: Delete"Some how". It takes away from the action taken place."They would always find him," is a chilling first sentence alone
3.Fifth stanza: Instead of ,"but how sad," what about "but how bad". The word bad indicates violence and that is what this kid is facing.
4. Sixth stanza: Delete,"he could see." Although a good line, it does not help take this poem to a higher intense level, make it tight. It's read better when spoken and heard.
These are only suggestions. Whether you make the changes or not does not take away its beauty or message. This poem hits the mark.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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The photo and the words made me sigh and shake my head in sorrow. This poem slowly peels off the horror a bullied child goes through daily. The details are harsh, no sugar coating.
I have a few suggestions.
1. Third Stanza: I would remove the words" ten thousand knots". The extra syllables off sets the rhyming.
2.Fourth stanza: Delete"Some how". It takes away from the action taken place."They would always find him," is a chilling first sentence alone
3.Fifth stanza: Instead of ,"but how sad," what about "but how bad". The word bad indicates violence and that is what this kid is facing.
4. Sixth stanza: Delete,"he could see." Although a good line, it does not help take this poem to a higher intense level, make it tight. It's read better when spoken and heard.
These are only suggestions. Whether you make the changes or not does not take away its beauty or message. This poem hits the mark.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for your review and your suggestions. I will definitely take a closer look.
Comment from amahra
Nice poem with lots of truth. Being a victim of bullying myself, I can truly understand this poem. Very nice photo. Great job.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Nice poem with lots of truth. Being a victim of bullying myself, I can truly understand this poem. Very nice photo. Great job.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for reviewing. Sorry that you had to experience it first hand.
Comment from adewpearl
good use of abcb rhyming
excellent use of enjambment
good alliteration in phrases like cowered in the corner
and finally finished
a dramatic and tragic story with strong emotional appeal and a significant message to deliver
Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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good use of abcb rhyming
excellent use of enjambment
good alliteration in phrases like cowered in the corner
and finally finished
a dramatic and tragic story with strong emotional appeal and a significant message to deliver
Brooke
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thank you so much for reviewing.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
A sad poem, unfortunately it seems this type of bullying has been steadily on the rise - and yet so often hidden or ignored by those who could step in and make a difference, perhaps save a life. Well penned, and solid entry for the contest- good luck. Note: Remove the "m" at the end of your post as it could be seen as identifying you, thus disqualify you.
Thanks for sharing and happy holidays.
Maureen
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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A sad poem, unfortunately it seems this type of bullying has been steadily on the rise - and yet so often hidden or ignored by those who could step in and make a difference, perhaps save a life. Well penned, and solid entry for the contest- good luck. Note: Remove the "m" at the end of your post as it could be seen as identifying you, thus disqualify you.
Thanks for sharing and happy holidays.
Maureen
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for your review and the tip about the m. It is a typo.
Comment from James crofoot
Wow, that was very good. Rhyme and meter were great and it was really easy to read, making the message even clearer. Very powerful message. good luck with this, I really hope you win.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Wow, that was very good. Rhyme and meter were great and it was really easy to read, making the message even clearer. Very powerful message. good luck with this, I really hope you win.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for your review.
Comment from misscookie
On how sad this poem is./ I could not hold back the tears. I see the pain in the boy's face.
Why must children be so cruel to each other?
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem.
Cookie
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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On how sad this poem is./ I could not hold back the tears. I see the pain in the boy's face.
Why must children be so cruel to each other?
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem.
Cookie
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for reviewing.
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You're very welcome. take care.
Cookie
Comment from chasennov
A poem about bullying "Bullied to Death" This is a very good poem you have created here, and I liked its strength and also its message. Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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A poem about bullying "Bullied to Death" This is a very good poem you have created here, and I liked its strength and also its message. Well done.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thank you for your kind review.
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You are most welcome.
